Bigendered

[Maggie]

I came across the term "bigendered" on the Internet. I understand that it was originally proposed by Virginia Prince, but never caught on. Here are some definitions that I found:

"Bigendered: a person who possesses both the female as well the male gender. In other words, these people consider themselves to be both male and female. This should not be mistaken for Intersexed people or hymaphrodites which posses the physical characteristics of both sexes. Some Bigendered individuals can blend in and pass for members of the opposite genetic sex and live for a considerable amount of time as a female and can just as easily change back into a male and live as a male.
(note: bigendered people...KICK backside! ^_^ )"

"Bigendered (BG). One who has a significant gender identity that encompasses both genders, masculine and feminine. Transsexuals are normally do not consider themselves to be bigendered. Many bigendered also use the term transgendered."

I am wondering whether "bigendered" might be an accurate description of what I am. I feel that the "inner me" wants to be both masculine and feminine. If I were totally free of societal restraints, I would probably be a girl sometimes and a guy other times, depending on my mood and the circumstances.

The term "transgendered" is an ambiguous term that is subject to confusion. Either it is an all-encompassing umbrella term for everyone from CD through TS, or it suggests that the person identifies exclusively with the opposite gender. While I have a strong feminine gender identification, I cannot totally rule out a masculine identification.

"Crossdresser" is a broad term that may include men who crossdress in a variety of manners and for a variety of motivations. For example, it would include men who simply use items of female clothing for erotic stimulation, without assuming a female persona. While I admit being turned on by my image as Maggie, my interest is not in the clothing per se. I get most of my emotional satisfaction from either performing or interacting socially with other people as convincingly as possible as a woman. So, while I am certainly a "crossdresser," that term isn't quite definitive enough.

So maybe I am a "bigendered crossdresser." What do you think?

[Violet]

I hesitate to identify as TG for the same reasons as you have stated, because I feel that I have a feminine personality but not that I 'am female'. I have heard the term bi-gendered before also. I think I like it. I also like 'metagendered', which says a similar thing without imposing the 'polarity barrier' of thinking that one or the other are the only acceptable positions.

Here's some resources you might be interested in:
http://www.chaparraltree.com/raq/ A good, fairly serious RAQ (Rarely Asked Question) site for bigenders, androgynes, and others who hate being categorized.
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/ ... ender.html Gender Anarchoterrorism 101: tongue in cheek, but also at points quite serious and touching, list of ways to force the outside world to accaept you for who and what you are.

[Anita]

Hi Maggie--
That post interests me. I have not seen the term "bi-gendered" before, but I can sense why it didn't catch on. I find I have a resistance to it, and it's probably because the prefix "bi" immediately brings up sexual associations, whereas "trans" does not. Even if I am bisexual, I don't necessary want a label that calls attention to that. That's MY business.

I don't mind calling myself transgendered. To me, it doesn't immediately label me as "only wanting to live out the opposite gender." So I find myself using it as a kind of introduction to a surprising amount of people who I meet. Most people have heard the term, and since I'm a guy talking to them, they can see I'm not living 24/7 or anything like that.

I keep the conversation light and breezy, too, which is fairly easy to do. People like hearing about show business, so that's usually how I frame the whole thing. But by using the word 'transgender', I'm feel I'm leaving it open to further talk and questions if they want to go there.

I haven't liked the term "crossdresser" for a long time, because for me it's a label that other people seem to think only applies to the clothes. I'm like you in that the clothes themselves don't interest me as much as the fact that I'm living out a female life in some way.

So I don't mind using "crossdresser" on the forum, where we all understand we're very different in our needs. I just don't want to be labeled that way by people who don't understand it. It still seems to carry a negative association in the world, and I find myself gritting my teeth when I hear it out there. I'd like to see that change, but it's a slow go at this point.

[Maggie]

I haven't liked the term "crossdresser" for a long time, because for me it's a label that other people seem to think only applies to the clothes. I'm like you in that the clothes themselves don't interest me as much as the fact that I'm living out a female life in some way.

So I don't mind using "crossdresser" on the forum, where we all understand we're very different in our needs. I just don't want to be labeled that way by people who don't understand it. It still seems to carry a negative association in the world, and I find myself gritting my teeth when I hear it out there. I'd like to see that change, but it's a slow go at this point.

I agree that "crossdresser" almost always carries a negative connotation when used by the general public. For example, I have heard politicians use the term "crossdressing" when they accuse their opponents of pretending to be something they are not. It is viewed as being deceitful, if not sexually perverted. Nevertheless, I view the current popularity of the term "crossdressing" as a positive sign, because at least people are getting used to the concept.

I probably will go along with the term "transgendered" in describing myself, because people are become familiar with it, and "bigendered" is too easily confused with the more familiar term "bisexual." I am, and always have been, attracted exclusively to women. I guess this makes me a lesbian in a man's body.

[DonnaT]

Or you could use the term "dualgendered"

[Kersten Lee]

Maggie,

I relate. I have considered myself transgendered since this summer and am comfortable in how the word describes me. I first seen the term lesbian in a man's body on the Donahue Show about 15 years ago or more. I have thought of myself by that description since then. As I have gotten over my self destructive behaviors, I have been more able to discover who I am. I have tested as equally male and female since I have taken such tests since the middle 80's. Now, I am enjoying being what I am.

It has been said bi indicates sexual and from the people I know, they see bi and not the rest of the word. I think we are all guilty of interjecting our bias into text at one time or another. Gender is mostly devoid of sexual content and trans to cross over or to cross back. My definition may not be correct but right or wrong it is how I know myself to be.

A consequence of this long held self hate for not being a main stream man in reality has led me to let go of hate and accept that every person on earth is a unique being. I will not accept all behavior is without consequences though. I do believe in ethics and morallity. I do not believe in self rightousness. Good is still good and evil still evil. Also I have had to accept not every question or problem has an answer that is completely pure. How we answer and react to these then really defines who we are.

Thanks,
Kersten

[S. Lisa Smith]

I don't mind the term crossdresser. It seems to have less of a stigma than tranvestite (which I don't really mind either). I guess I'm like Popeye, I yam what I yam

[Kersten Lee]

S. Lisa Smith,

That's cool!

Kersten

[Kersten Lee]

Maggie,

Reading your other thread it seems that I don't know the definition of transgendered. Does it in fact mean a woman in a man's body? I maybe will have to use the bi-gender term to describe myself after all. I guess I don't worry about labels except to tell others who I am. Guess I will have to reread some of the sites to find the definitions again and maybe a dictionary.

Kersten

[CJ]

Hi all,

Hmmmmm... "Bi-gendered" still only implies two options. In my own case, my gender identity doesn't seem to fit well in any kind or "either-or" duality or polarity. Any takers for "pan-gendered" (meaning, "across a gender spectrum")?

Love,
CJ

[Loretta Ann]

Excellent post Kersten,

When dealing with the subject of gender, I have never liked a word with Trans in it, because I too have taken it to mean to cross over, and I have never felt good about that.
Main Entry: trans-
Function: prefix
Etymology: Latin trans-, tra- across, beyond, through, so as to change, from trans across, beyond -- more at THROUGH
1 : on or to the other side of : across : beyond <transatlantic>
2: through <transcutaneous>
3 : so or such as to change or transfer

This is the first time that I have been exposed to the term Bi-gender, and I like it. Because it more accurately describes to this analytical mind how I see myself..

Main Entry: 1bi-
Function: prefix
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin -- more at TWI-
1 a : two <bilateral> b : coming or occurring every two <bicentennial> c : into two parts <bisect>
2 a : twice : doubly : on both sides <biconvex> b : coming or occurring two times <biannual> -- compare SEMI-
3 : between, involving, or affecting two (specified) symmetrical parts <bilabial>

The information in the links you have provided, provide some very good reading Violet.
I think the following applies here.
Learn to look at your body through your own eyes and not through society's eyes. You might discover, much to your amazement, that those so called physical flaws, whichever they might be, have been given to you, by the different people, you have come across, in your life. Thus, internalizing them and allowing them, to rule your life, and all that you believe is wrong with your body. Ack!

Love Darlene.

[RikkiOfLA]

There are lots of interesting terms to play with. Most all of them have some negative connotations, especially if one goes looking for them. "Fnurg" doesn't, of course. It has no connotations at all.

There is tremendous variety among crossdressers. And that, to me, is one of the most interesting things about being one. Our motivations are not necessarily the same, nor are our goals, our frequency of dressing, our style of dress, and so on. But at the same time, we manage to have so much in common, and to learn so much from each other. I find that to be inspiring.

When I first began meeting transsexuals, they seemed a much more cohesive group. Everyone wanted to "transition" which meant taking hormones and eventually having SRS, with various other surgeries perhaps along the way. Today, they have, as a group, broadened out like crossdressers. Many now don't want SRS, ever.

As the transsexual community has relaxed and broadened, the differences between TSs and CDs have become more blurred. There aren't enough words to describe all the different lifestyles. What do you call someone who is on hormones but lives and works as a man, and dresses only occasionally? I know 3 people like that. One calls herself a pre-op TS. One calls himself androgynous. The third one says "just call me Charlotte (or Charles)."

This is why I like the term "transgendered." It doesn't really describe anyone exactly, but it is a great umbrella term for our entire community. And I think that's what we really need most--a sense of unity, rather than descriptive labels. After all, if you really want to describe yourself, you can talk in specific about your feelings, motivations, experiences, reactions, and so on. If anyone cares to listen, of course.

[Alexandra]

I'm with rikkiofla on TG being a good "umbrella" term. If you're in drag and faced with a confrontation, telling people you're a "crossdresser" might lead to nasty consequences rather quickly whereas if you tell them you're "transgendered" you might get a bit of sympathy (as they try to figure out exactly what "TG" means) or extra time to make a getaway.

[Merinda]

The term I hate is TRANSVESTITE , it sounds like a name that you would give to some sort of sexual deviant , CROSSDRESSER is a much better term ( in my opinion anyway ) .

BI-GENDERED ?? , I dont know .

DUALGENDERED ??

MEDIANGENDER ??

I"ll stick with the label of CD for now , someone once labeled me SICK INDIVIDUAL so anythings better than that

[Violet]

The term I hate is TRANSVESTITE , it sounds like a name that you would give to some sort of sexual deviant

That's the way bigots and hatemongers use it, certainly.

i wouldn't mind being identified as transvestite or even transgender, if nothing else, as Rikki said, to promote a sense of unity (the last thing the Queer community needs is more fractiousness!) That's not how I think of myself or describe myself though. I have in the past used crossdresser, bigendered, metagendered, androgynous, and f^#ed-up freak (depending on how the mood takes me).