I came across this in a link that Violet supplied. It is a subject I don't recall having been discussed here before. What do you all think about it? Have any of you purposely attempted to do this? If you have how well did it work for you?
Practice blending gender traits within yourself. For example, if you feel like crossing your legs, do so. Among many other so called feminine traits, you have been told, you should never expose, to anyone. Don't get paranoid about it. Just do it and forget about who might think of you, as a nilly.
I've had mixed results. On my last job before I went full time, I was increasingly androgynous. I worked at a school where we taught classes about alcohol, drugs, and safety to people who had committed DUIs. Acceptance among my coworkers was great, although with a few humorous moments. Among our clients, who were largely unwilling participants, there was never anything to my face, but one day I went into the men's room and discovered that the mirror had been graffitied with obscene, insulting, and threatening statements about me. That was scary! It didn't deter me, however.
I would say that if you're big, and otherwise macho, you can probably carry it off in most settings. But watch your back.
I'm not as andro as some of my Angel friends, but I do tend to 'flaunt myself' in tight or clinging skirts, and to wear more elaborately Gothik facial designs than most GGs. But I always cross my legs. The world doesn't need to see my panties.
"There's something wrong with him. He should be mine, but he's not. His madness... his madness keeps him sane..."
Delirium, 'the Sandman', Niel Gaiman
INSANE GOTHIK DIVA SYNDROME
This is a little bit difficult. I think most of us have tried this at one point or another, but I'll wager that most of us who have tried it, who were not actually TS, had problems with it; I know I did. Unless the trait is something that is natural to you, it's really easy to overdo it and come across as either a parody of a woman (if dressed) or a parody of a gay man (if in drab).
In fact, I never consciously try to "act feminine" or to hold myself as I imagine a woman would do. What I do instead is try to present myself in a way that isn't in any way coarse or vulgar. I'd be shocked if anyone ever used the word "graceful" about me (trust me, they wouldn't), but I hope no one would ever call me "schlumpy" either. If I'm wearing pants, I may not cross my legs, but neither do I spread them as I've seen a lot of men do, in a way that makes one's "equipment" evident to anyone who looks.
On the other hand, I have made a conscious effort to be more expressive in the ways that I communicate. I don't so much adopt feminine patterns of speech and body language as I try to purge myself of the inhibitions ingrained into me by the cultural norms of "masculinity." I've learned to use descriptive language, to talk about colors beyond the primary, to use words that are indicative of strong emotion. I'm not afraid to tell a mother that her child is "delightful" or "adorable," to describe my hair as "hideous" or my wife's as "lovely."
Some time ago, I made a conscious decision to try to be more expressive and animated in my facial expressions and the ways that I used my body to reinforce the ideas I was communicating. I don't try to emulate the speech or gestures of a woman, but I do smile a lot more now, and to my initial surprise, people smiled back. I know I'm doing it, but I try, as the kids might say, to just "keep it real."
I honestly don't think that most people perceive me as being especially effeminate, though there are probably some "Marlboro Man" types who have disapproved. If it's natural, it will work no matter how you may be dressed. If I have a role model, I guess it would have to be Fred Astaire in all those old black-and-white movies with Ginger Rogers. Fact is, I've always thought that Fred could wear the gown and Ginger the top hat and tails, and they would both still be the genuine article -- and both would still be gorgeous. My tuppence.
.......Tamara Segunda
I agree with you about Fred and Ginger. I love them. They are beautiful when dancing.
I have started wearing mixed articles of clothing this summer. I am sure some may say there is a queer. I don't care anymore. What is funny to me now is that those that judge me would be wrong. It for some reason brings me pleasure. I have in fact begun to be me at all times. I talk, cry, laugh, gesture and communicate true to who I am. I have accepted my equal man and woman brain. It is how I always related to the world, but now I am doing so openly without guilt and shame. I am not yet cross-dressing comfortably when ever I like and have not openly revealed myself to those where I work.
I am learning to let my life develop. I am pretty happy these days, more than ever in my many years. Currently I am happy with this. I believe I have learned to integrate both genders. I don't have to be that macho man that I never have been nor do I have to be totally feminine in look and actions. I'm just being me. It has been such a crazy experience for me to like myself for just me.
I am getting freer all the time but haven't achieved total openess yet. I may never reach that comfort level, I don't yet know.
I sometimes blend gender traits. When in drab it would appear that I'm a parody of a gay man,,,wait a minute,,, I am a gay man. So acting fem in drab is no big deal, everyone knows what I am, except strangers and I could care less about them.
It also goes the other way as well. I don't always act fem while in drag. I don't try to hide my voice. I keep my voice the same in and out of drag.
So it really depends on the traits, some look good while in fem and others look good in male mode.
Amelie
I have been accused of being gay by family members people i went to school with and my exwife, just to name a few. I'm not , guess I have always blended with out realizing. I can be very feminine without trying, if I try to act , I feel like I'm acting on Family Matters. Way over acting the part.
I have always crossed my legs when sitting and recieved comments, don't care, I would say it is very comforatble. And if they didnt like it, Tough. A coworker asked why I always bend my knees when reaching for something on the floor, he was really trying to pick a fight (as always), I told him I have calcium deosits on my knees and if Iget on my knees it is very painful (partialy true) . It seemed he accepted that, he quit the questions (again don't care). .....Kristen
Do want you want to do, be who you want to be. * * Email address not current as of 10-07-2008! Please contact SilverLady(SO) immediately! See http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... php?t=9237 for further information. Thank You!! * *
