Boys...

[Beautiful_Gal]

I think last night I experienced my first crush on a boy...

I saw was not dressed or anything but I felt like crossdressing. Never in my life have I really liked a boy, just girls. But I saw a boy I knew from school and he looked...nice..and I thought about him all night and I am still thinking about him...could it be that I like him? He was really hot, I never thought I'd say that. I am so confused, help?

[DonnaT]

What kind of help do you think you might need?

There is nothing wrong with being bi or bi-curious. You just need to be careful. Especially if he isn't into t-girls (CDs).

I've known some girls how have had the same experience as what you are now feeling. Some have found they like it (dating boys) and others have found that it was just their fem self (anima) taking over for a little while.

You'll work it out, I'm sure. Like I said, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling.

[Anita]

Hello, Beautiful girl--
It seems to go with the CD territory for some of us, to be attracted to guys. For me personally, I don't think the attraction will ever be as strong as my attraction to girls. But it's there, if I'm dressed and out and about.

Part of my interest in men is the fact that they show interest in ME. That kind of attention is unlike anything else I've ever experienced in my life. I really enjoy it, and I think that even CDs who aren't attracted to men enjoy that part of it--men's way of focusing on you is different from women's.

It does not have to go so far as to be uncomfortable, either. Just make sure you always know what your boundaries are, and let others know. This is one reason to go easy on alcohol when dressed.

[Marda]

I think last night I experienced my first crush on a boy...

I saw a boy I knew from school and he looked...nice..and I thought about him all night and I am still thinking about him...could it be that I like him? He was really hot, I never thought I'd say that. I am so confused, help?

~
I'm curious about how well you "knew" this boy from school ... are you close acquaintances or friends? Have you gone places and done things together as 2 male friends? Have you been fully or partially undressed together in the locker room at school or at the gym?

What kinds of things did you think about? Going to the movies together? Taking a nightschool course together? Doing an internet or other hobby project together? Playing music together? Meeting his family at Christmas?

Or were you having a homosexual fantasy? What constitutes "hot" to you? Did he have nice legs? Was it his haircut? Is he stereotypically "masculine"?
~
As a guy, I once "made the scene" with a really gorgeous, career babe ... actually, as women will do, she came onto me and I was ready, willing and able to answer her call ...

as things turned out, we *Looked Fabulous* together ... I drove the requisite Mercedes-Benz; had a very chi-chi gig; we both liked to dress like stars; we did the nightlife thing ...

We *Were* Hot ... and we knew people liked to look at us ...

and then there was our relationship ... or should I say, our *Lack* of a relationship ... absolutely *Zero* communication about anything deeper than "where are we going for lunch?" (even Beautiful People need to eat) ... and in bed, especially compared to a very much less attractive surburban divorcee / mother I had spent (night)times with, she acted like she was totally inhibited and uninspired(ing)...
~
I've seen guys I thought were attractive / handsome ... I've even thought a couple of them looked like the kind of guys I would pursue, were I a G-Girl ...

but I've never thought of a guy as being "hot", the way your story seems to suggest ...
~
I'm fascinated to hear more on this, given my interest in the link between human sexuality and spirituality ...
~
Often, these days, it seems I perceive words and behaviours from people about their sexuality, especially in the workplace, that seem to betray deep and general senses of personal insecurity and lonliness ...

the physical world is a very cold, harsh, almost completely inhuman environment anymore ...

are we sexualizing everything(body) and questing physical intimacy of any kind in response to deeper fears on another plane ???
~
Merry Christmas
Love / Marda

[Beautiful_Gal]

Well he is basically an aquaintance, I just have a few classes with him. I have not really dressed in public...I am 16 and just have not yet, though I'd like to. I guess I was imagining me as a girl....and him...going t the movies or cuddling watching a movie or a romantic dinner...I don't know. I don't know what I liked about him either he just looked extremely attractive...not sure, I am all confused inside.

[Merinda]

Hello, Beautiful girl--

Part of my interest in men is the fact that they show interest in ME. That kind of attention is unlike anything else I've ever experienced in my life. I really enjoy it, and I think that even CDs who aren't attracted to men enjoy that part of it-

Hi Beautiful_gal ,

Perhaps Anita has something here ,

Do your thoughts include a sexual fantasy or is it just a desire for attention from this boy in the way Anita describes ?

[Beauty]

Hi,

Please remember you are talking to a person who is not an adult. Sexual discussion should probably be left to family or friends, but if you feel the need to give any advice, well.. I can't really say or do anything that would make any sense.

Just be careful.

BG, I'd advise that you do speak with a school counselor or someone you feel you can trust in your family.

Beauty

[Alexandra]

I gotta agree with Beauty. I've an opportunity to discuss things (not related to TG/CD) with school counselors for projects in the past and one thing they say is they are frustrated that many kids that could benefit from their expertise don't seek their help! Good luck BG!

[Merinda]

Hi,

Please remember you are talking to a person who is not an adult. Sexual discussion should probably be left to family or friends, but if you feel the need to give any advice, well.. I can't really say or do anything that would make any sense.

Just be careful.

Beauty

)))))) sexual feelings probably better wording

I was just asking a broad yes/no/maybe/dunno question , I was not interested in a descriptive discussion

sorry for the offence.

[Marda]

Slightly Edited Reposted Reply Per Site Admin **

Hi,

Please remember you are talking to a person who is not an adult. Sexual discussion should probably be left to family or friends, but if you feel the need to give any advice, well.. I can't really say or do anything that would make any sense.

Just be careful.

BG, I'd advise that you do speak with a school counselor or someone you feel you can trust in your family.

Beauty

~
** imho comment: without getting into a post-graduate level thesis -
In the pursuit of human understanding, especially in the realms of self, and interpersonal relationships, it's important for one to distinguish between issues pertaining on one hand to gender identity, and on another to sexual fantasies / urges / activity.

** "Homophobia" is nothing more than an aggressive - defensive construct of the contemporary, western, self-defined, socio-political "gay community" designed to advance their "status" claims for recognition (legitimacy?) as a "subculture" against a relatively illiterate, insecure and disoriented world population ...

** that anyone would use it as an argumentative lever while advising a self-confessed and admittedly confused 16 yr old on the rather complex issue of human sexuality, without at least asking questions and suggesting higher level options such as recommended by the Site Admin is at least superficial, self-serving, and irresponsible, if not criminal.

~

Hey BG, Welcome to the online global version of the "Wonderful World of Everybody With Internet Access Is A SEXpert" ... (For the American commercial TV version, see Oprah & Dr.Phil) ...

I hope you have some "trustworthy elders" you feel comfortable searching your personal life with ... considering I'm approx 3x your age, and that I've worked many carreers and travelled / experienced more than most, I can offer that in my own life, while there have been hundreds who have gladly offered me the "wisdom of their lives", there have only been a few (probably less than 25) people including my own trusted and trustworthy father, mother, grandparents; some teachers; few mentors, and equally few "Friends" who have actually "helped" me ...

** and when it came to the "dilemma" of my own gender identity / sexuality, it was the Great Master of The Universe "who" guided me to the point where I am now - comfortable with my own androgyny ...

but first, it required most of my physical life and many falls to become comfortable approaching "Him" for assistance with my mortal fears and anxieties ...

Good Luck !!!
~

Love / Marda


ps. - as a former funeral director, I have arranged and provided services for both genetic males and genetic females of various races and/or ethnic groups, many religious faiths, dietary persuasions and sexual preferences ...

to my experience, on a world scale, gender identity is still an early stage development in becoming understood and recognized as a legitimate element of the human condition ...

but also to my experience, all of the above is subject to the Infinite, Universal Laws of Cosmic and Human Spirituality.

/M

[Merinda]

The first post was written in a hurry and sounded intrusive and tactless which is why I appologised , However I tried to turn the discussion into a general discussion only to have the post deleted " WHY ?
If this topic is unsuitable then I suggest that the Admin/moderators should have terminated it from the onsett , BG is only young but remember
"she came to us "and put the topic up for discussion.

I will not bother to waste my time posting on a forum that selectivly censors/ deletes posts WITHOUT EXPLAINATION .

[Beauty]

Hi Merinda,

Your post wasn't ever removed it was put in a new thread because of the sensitivity of this thread.

Here is the link:
http://crossdressers-haven.com/forums/v ... php?t=3487

I wholeheartedly apologize for any confusion Merinda.

Beauty

[Merinda]

Hi Merinda,

Your post wasn't ever removed it was put in a new thread because of the sensitivity of this thread.
I wholeheartedly apologize for any confusion Merinda.

Beauty

Beauty,
Thanks for clearing up the confusion

No hard feelings

[Darla]

I think last night I experienced my first crush on a boy...

I saw was not dressed or anything but I felt like crossdressing. Never in my life have I really liked a boy, just girls. But I saw a boy I knew from school and he looked...nice..and I thought about him all night and I am still thinking about him...could it be that I like him? He was really hot, I never thought I'd say that. I am so confused, help?

just do what your heart is telling you girl