Tough decision
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Alexandra
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1149
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 8:27 pm
- Location: In Monolith We Trust
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Cathy L. Anderson
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 6:08 am
- Location: Europe
- Contact:
Hi Julie,
I've had a deep, lifelong desire to be female. In many ways I feel more complete and real as a female. Yet I don't think it would be realistic or beneficial to transition.
To be a woman is a fantasy for me. Naturally a fantasy seems more appealing than reality. But I think I would be no better off overall by transitioning. Would the mere fact of being female solve the problems in my life? Or would it just introduce new ones? Observation of transitioned TS, not to mention GGs, suggests the latter.
It seems to me that, from Socrates onwards, the psychological ideal is androgyny--a blend of male and female traits. Transitioning from one partial identity (male) to another (female) doesn't seem promising for me.
For me the main issue is to accept the reality of my internal female side (which does not preclude a male side). As long as the female is free to exist in my mind and soul then 'we' feel no need to physically and socially transisition.
Finally, both my inner male and inner female agree on the superiority of compassion and service to others, rather than a life centered on excessive self-concern. Nature has endowed me with an excellent male body. Why? So that I could win a victory by bravely deciding to change sex? Admittedly, that is a courageous thing, but it seems like a rather strange and complicated life script. It seems more plausible for me to take things at face value--I was put in this male body, with the intention of keeping it, for good reasons.
Sometimes I have even thought I am a female spirit who chose this body. If so, I see no reason to change my mind now.
Cathy
I can only share how I approach this.All my life I have dreamed of being female. I had convinced myself that wasn't possible. Through therapy I realized it was possible to achieve a passable form of female. Then I rejoiced at the idea of this being a reality. But reality reared it's ugly head and woke me up to all that transitioning could mean.
I've had a deep, lifelong desire to be female. In many ways I feel more complete and real as a female. Yet I don't think it would be realistic or beneficial to transition.
To be a woman is a fantasy for me. Naturally a fantasy seems more appealing than reality. But I think I would be no better off overall by transitioning. Would the mere fact of being female solve the problems in my life? Or would it just introduce new ones? Observation of transitioned TS, not to mention GGs, suggests the latter.
It seems to me that, from Socrates onwards, the psychological ideal is androgyny--a blend of male and female traits. Transitioning from one partial identity (male) to another (female) doesn't seem promising for me.
For me the main issue is to accept the reality of my internal female side (which does not preclude a male side). As long as the female is free to exist in my mind and soul then 'we' feel no need to physically and socially transisition.
Finally, both my inner male and inner female agree on the superiority of compassion and service to others, rather than a life centered on excessive self-concern. Nature has endowed me with an excellent male body. Why? So that I could win a victory by bravely deciding to change sex? Admittedly, that is a courageous thing, but it seems like a rather strange and complicated life script. It seems more plausible for me to take things at face value--I was put in this male body, with the intention of keeping it, for good reasons.
Sometimes I have even thought I am a female spirit who chose this body. If so, I see no reason to change my mind now.
Cathy
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Tristen Cox
- Miss Crystal Goddess
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 5:39 pm
Julie you knew I would respond to this. It's nice to see a fulmiliar face even though I would prefer it on different terms. I have watched you go overcome so many obstacles since last summer when I meet you. This can be no easy matter for you to decide. I know it's tearing at you and putting more pressure on you than you deserve. You're doing the right thing thinking of your family first. At the same time as I read elsewhere in this thread, you may only be delayed in your transition. Only time will give you that answer. A few months perhaps, but thats better than never going for your goals or even realizing it until it's to late. There's still tomorrow. You may want things to happen right now, but remember those baby steps you often related? Sometimes you have to downshift and go slowly. I owe you a lot and think you do have the strength to get through this time if you have faith in yourself. My best hopes for you. 
Your friend
Tristen
Your friend
Tristen