This is my first post, I joined the forum today. My story is like many others that CD. I can't remember not being a CDr and I'm 63 years old. I'm told that my mother wanted a girl and told people that I was a girl. Problem when I was born male but that didn't stop mother she dressed me as a girl for several years. I don't remember that but I saw pictures of me dressed. I wish I had those but I don't.
My mother told me often I should have been a girl. She said that my eye lashes were too long for a boy, that my hands were to pretty for a boy. My grandmother also told me I should have been a girl. I generally got all the girl chores around our home, cooking cleaning and helping with the younger kids. Any wonder I cross dress. My mother would have literally killed me if she knew I wanted to wear her clothes which I did as often as I could with five brothers and sisters. I really struggled in the late 1940s and the 1950 trying to get information on why I crossdressed and where it was going to lead me. I would have not been surprised if I had had a nervous breakdown.
Each time I dressed it generally lead to masturbation then guilt and shame and promise to never do it again and then the next day I would do it all over again. I heard about Christine Jorgenson and her sex change and it scared me to death. Was that where I was heading? In the younger years I convinced myself that I should have a sex change.I really struggled with that for years. When information became available on the net I found out that I really wasn't a candidate for SRS, I was a plain ole crossdresser!
I didn't buy my own things until the early 1970s. Before that it was unheard of for a man to by bras, girdles, pantyhose and the like unless you had access to catalogs which I didn't. I do not know how much money I wasted purging. I finally told myself that I was going to have to stop crossdressing or come to terms with it. You can guess the answer, I didn't stop! Today, I glad to tell you that I am very comfortable with it. I'm still in the closet and dress as often as circumstances permit.
I have a dozen bras, panties, pantyhose and the works. I can fully dress and with makeup I make a pretty good looking woman. Sometimes I wish that I was shorter (6'2"), it would make passing easier. I also sometimes wish that I could share my feminine side with my wife but I feel she could not handle it. So there you are! At this point in my life I feel that I will dress every chance I get for the rest of my life.
(a scary site in of it's self)