Merinda about to self -destruct

[Cathy L. Anderson]

Merinda,

Don't be upset over your experience. Like all of us, you have conflicts over this issue. What you experienced was a manifestation of the conlict, no more. You took a step, and learned from it. Congratulations!

You're not the first person to experience something like this. One step at a time. You made progress. Focus on what you did do instead of what you didn't. Next time you'll go further.

This is a situation where the inner female can call on the inner male for help. Sometimes you just have to gather your courage and plunge forward. I've experienced what you did early on. But other times my male self said "this is just something I have to do. It is the only way to come to terms with my crossdressing. It is moral and ethical to understand this issue better. If anyone disapproves I can honestly tell them that what I am doing is good."

As far as 'Yosemite Sam' is concerned--I've had experiences like that too. But that was mainly a projection of your own fears, doubts, and conflicts onto another person who could actually care less what you're wearing, where you're going, or what you gender is.

So I think the main thing is to examine your reasons for going out in public dressed, and to be confident that you do so for the right reasons. Then you will have less fear.

Cathy

[Beauty]

I'll say again , you girls are fantastic and I was touched to see that "home signal at proceed" thrown back at me , thanks Rikki.

Now 24 hours on I have floated back up considerably , I no longer have the feeling of failure rather I feel last night taught me a valuable lesson.
I went out dressed in clothing that was just not me , I think I looked good in that black dress but its not me , its not who I am.
Trying to look like a society approved girl going out to dinner rather than being myself.
Funny thing is I have the same problem be it Merinda or Neil.

I have appologised to the girl who organized last nights outing and she's been sympathetic , understanding and thats really great.
I will pay this lady a visit when I'm on holidays in a week and try and work something out for the future.

I think Anita's idea about going to the first meeting en-drab or dressing when you get there is a possability.

Merinda is comming back to full power , all your support has played a part in picking me up at a quick rate .

You should feel proud of yourselves , I'm proud of all of you.

YAY!!!

You did it! We did it!!! It was mostly you though Merinda!

[Loretta Ann]

Merinda,

You did good girl...real good. You stepped outside of your comfort zone. That is where it is at hon. That is how you learn about yourself, that is part of the package of what it takes to grow. I am proud of you.

One just needs to be careful not to step out side of their comfort level in to many areas at once. It needs to be at a pace that you can handle.

I am so glad you are here hon. I am so glad that you allowed us to walk through this part of your journey with you.

Love Dalene.

[Kersten Lee]

Merinda,

I'm a day late and a dollar short, but here I am anyway.

I say too, don't feel bad. No one should have to force feelings. I always tried unsuccessfully. I've gotten more comfortable just feeling what I feel. Sometimes I plan for a wonderful experience for a week or two and when the time arrives I feel ugly or sad or not woman enough. Sometimes I am just tired from working and not enough sleep.

If your situation at that moment felt wrong, it probably was. Don't dispair. It does sound from your last note like your doing great. People here and my therapist have got me to see that I am good enough just feeling and being me. Who ever you are today, you are still perfect to us.

We love you and that means you should love yourself!! Be kind to yourself. No need to rush as several have told me and have now told you. There are never enough wonderful people to go around. For me there is no dress code for wonderful people. If there was, my life would be so small right now.

I always love seeing your posts and the pretty smilling Merinda beside each post. You help to brighten my life.

Take Care Merinda,
Kersten

[Violet]

Hey, girl, the first time I crossed, I felt like I wanted to die. (of course, I feel like that a lot of the time. But still.) The first time I chose to go out, I thought I was going to throw up. It required a maximal effort of the will to throw myself out into the darkness.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again...

You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm pulling for you; we're all in this togeather.....