Stress and CDing

[KimberlyS]

I am in the process of working through "Me" , my cding, effects on my marriage. In doing this and chatting with others both here and on other forums; I have observed some trends. So I have four questions for others here.

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?


For myself there was nothing significat that started my CDing. I basically chalk my early on and off (mostly off) cding to experimentation and hormones of the teens.

Looking back on our marriage, my wife has suffered with with depression through out her life and we went through a difficult work situation where my job was up in the air for about 6 years.

And when I am under more stress at either home or work or both I find I have a stronger urge to CD either during or shortly afterwards.

I Consider myself a parttime CDer.

KimberlyS - CD

[DonnaT]

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?

No, simply found some of my mother's things and tried them on when I was around 10~12.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

Can't think of anything that causes significant stress. Just the normal stress one goes through at work or home.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?

So, my answer would be no.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?

CD, 24/7.

[Virginia]

For Virginia, No event that I can single out!
No real stress. although some would argue that. I am not stressed
When Virginia wants to dress and go out we do, no pressure no stress, Just do it!
I am a CD
I am Virginia and Virginia is me and she and I are enjoying our Magicla Mystery Tour.
Kimberly, honey, don't fight it , seek to understand it, how it affects your daily life in the form of your attitude toward others, how you feel "en drab" vs. dressed. Critically study how you interact with others, or respond to various situations. Some one cuts you off in traffic, or breaks line in front of you, or you sense someone is sad and needs to talk. Do you feel any different one way or the other? Just enjoy your ride on this trip around the sun!
Virginia

[RikkiOfLA]

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?

I think the start to my CDing was when my mother was prescribed DES (diethylstibestrol) during pregnancy. It's a synthetic female hormone and would have bathed fetus Me in a hormone wash.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

There have been lots of things of course. Most recently my mother's death two years ago. Before that I have been fired from a job, hired for a job, my wife was in a car accident, and many other stressors, big and small.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?

I went through a pretty standard "mid life crisis" about 10 years ago. That's when a man's testosterone level falls. I was tempted to have an affair, dreamed about the little red sportscar, etc. And as it was coming to a close, my CDing desires increased, over a few months, to new levels. I started going out dressed, loved it, and continued it. I began making plans to go full time. Within 2-5 years, I had.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?

Full time CD.

[Caroline]

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?


I started about 2-- and if there was a significant event involved, I haven't discovered it.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

What does one call "significant"? Sure, I experience stress, but is it "significant"? I suppose your real question is, "Does stress increase the desire to CD?" Answer, 'Resounding NO!' I would CD 24/7 if I could, and I actually experience very little stress in my life.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?


Sorry, I should have read this question before I answered above. Basically, CD has nothing to do with stress per se (for me), but I do find myself becoming stressed -- no, deprived, is the word -- if I cannot CD when I want to.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?


CD

[Gelinda]

Well The others above me are great Ladies to pay attention too as it is where we all should be working toward.

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?

I can not remember any one event. I did not have a sister so I kept my girlfriends underwear and stole I guess you would say, Never thought about it as stealing before but I did. I just had to have it an I mean I had to have it could not stop it.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

I leave in a very stressful life
1. Wife and are very much in love for almost 25 years but as my job is in KY and my home is in Texas, it is very stressful to live apart.
2. My kids are not making it on there own and in my home in TX and in my pocket for most of there living expenses so that makes money very tight.
3. My job is a stressful job as I am a Tech Acct manager for a Insurance Company that underwriters a hospital chain and so I live off contracts for a time. So if the contract has outs and always having to be perfect in what I do to keep them happy. I mean perfect in a non perfect hospital chaim of 9 hospitals and 24 clinics.
4. My CD world is fairly easy other than I can not let any one know as if my world found out I would lose my job and my home in texas, etc.
5. I am also very confused about CDing and the why's
6. My Thyroid quit about 9 months ago and have had a hard time getting a proper dose of medicine, which causes many problems self esteem, weight gain after having gastric bypass many years ago, even to my finger nails causing a lot of problems, plus etc.
7. Then Friday I found out that the moles that was removed two weeks ago had Cancer in them.
Sorry about that once i got started I could not guit.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?

No, I can be free with it here in the house in KY and I do not see a pattern of stress equals dressing en femme.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other

I am a very closet in the house that is CD that wishs he was not a CD as that would mean one less stresser in my life. But I am what I am.

Gelinda.

[Beauty]

I missed this one the first time. Nice thread!! Thanks Rikki for the colors.

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significant event in your life that started you CDing?
I was 5, but I'm pretty sure we were playing house and I was my mom. My parents weren't home, my brother and I were in their room. I asked him if wearing my mom's hose would be too much to do and he said he thought I shouldn't do it. Well, he went in to the restroom and I went into my moms hose drawer. I put on a pair of her knee highs which were like thigh highs for me. I put my legs under the bed (the covers were long enough to cover me) and the rest was history.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significant amount of stress in you?
Marriage is always stressful. (that was an exaggeration of the truth). My job can be stressful, but I do love my job.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?
No it hasn't. When I'm stressed I actually don't dress as much.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?
I consider myself a transgenderist. If you type transgenderist into search of the forum you'll find the thread started by CJ. That will explain what it means.

[Absaroka]

These are good questions and it is interesting to read everyones answers.

Was there some signifigant event that started my cding?

I don't really think so although what isn't signifigant to a little kid? I started at about age 8 and I did have other stuff going on with me in terms of my perceptions of the world and myself at that time but don't we all? Looking back although I did not know this at the time my family was in the beginnings of a crisis that would affect us all very deeply. THings were changing for me and i did not know it. But who knows?

In therapy my therapist describred my beginnings in crossdressing as a reflection of warm feelings towards my mother. It was mostly her things I wore and I think that is a nice way of viewing the whole thing. I have found that other times when I crossdressed more was when I was in a close relationship with a woman I would like to wear her clothes. Okay there was a situational aspect going on in terms of availability. But I think that there is something going on with this.

Is there something in life etc that causes stress?

Of course. Life, work, aging, marriage and parenting can all be very stressful.


Does the stress increase the need to cd?


Over the short term it decreases it. I dress when I feel good. If I am really bummed or angry I do not usually have the urge to do it. I am not in a mood to enjoy it or anything else.

On a deeper level...........I started doing it a lot more, buying my own clothes and wearing them regularly as opposed to occasional surrepititous borrowing of my wifes clothes, about 15 months ago. This was just at the time when I resumed therapy after many years due to trouble I had in coping with the fact that my kids were no longer little kids but teenagers. Lots of chickens coming home to roost from my own childhood.

Lots of stuff going on with that. I guess the shortest way to describe it is a stage of life crisis for me. A need to find other outlets. Getting old so don't postpone stuff. I don't know. But I do not think that this was mere coincidence.

What do you consider yourself?


I consider myself a man who likes to wear womens clothes for a variety of not completely understood reasons and who has a busy inner life. If I had to choose a one word label it would be crossdresser.


Thanks for asking!

Andrea

[Wendy]

Good questions.

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?

No, not really. Looking back, I was one of those 'latch key' kids, and being home by myself alot meant I had time to 'experiement'. I guess that is when I started looking at my mom's lingerie and clothing and began trying it on.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

My relationship with my common law spouse has never been better. Even though she doesn't know about my CDing, the relationship is doing well and there is no stress there.

If anything, it is my current job and its low pay that is causing me alot of grief, especially financially. I have found myself not being able to buy any women's clothing or updating my wardrobe.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?

I would say yes. I find the urge to CD on the increase since starting this job. I find CDing does help alleviate some of the stress of this job, and any chance I get I find myself dressing up.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?

CD.

[Jean-P]

I think I have asked myself some of theses questions lately...

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?

I cannot remember anything ever in my past that would have started me CDing, In fact up until recently I would have never even thought about it. I think I am one of those people that suppressed everything and anything that entered my mind as fem... Then one day something happened at work that, well, what felt like a light switch was turned on.... and here I am...

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?

That's a loaded question.... I work with my wife’s family (DONT EVER DO THIS! ) so my work and my personal life clash all the time. Lot’s of stress there... Also my wife is very sick and has been since I met her.. More stress.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?

No I can't say that it has, although I haven’t actually got up the nerve to dress.... Yes I have tried the dreaded CLEAR COAT and even attempted some color nail polish, but I don't think stress played a factor in it..

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?

At this moment I think of myself as CONFUSED but I am leaning towards CD...

[Jabbela]

I am in the process of working through "Me" , my cding, effects on my marriage.
You should never stop this process!, there is a lot you can learn about yourself. I am also still learning about me, my cding and my marriage.

Looking into your past and present, has there been a significat event in your life that started you CDing?
None I can remember. I was just alone at home and tried some of my mothers items - but the whish came first, then came the opportunity. Significant was that carneval party, when I changed my dress with my g/f dress when I was 15. It was not significant for CDing at all, but my first time out en-femme, really great feeling. Later I exchanged underwear with my girlfriends. Next significant events were: the first time I bought my own female clothings, the first time my wife saw Jabbela-me. But you can continue this list for ever - when I am en-femme, all the "first-times" are significant, as CDing is significant for me.

Is there something in your life / marriage / family / job, that causes a significat amount of stress in you?
Sure, but not more or less than the average, I guess.

Has this stress started or increased your need to CD?
I don't think so, more the other way. When I can't dress en-femme for a long time, this can impact other parts of my life.

What do you consider yourself? CD, TG, TS pre, TS post, TS nop, other?
part time CD and part-heart TG.

[KimberlyS]

Thanks for all of the great respones everyone.

The more i learn about CDing the more i want to slap the medical and mental health professionals. Well like with anything there seems to culture/learned part of cding; but for so many of us we just started, and started early before much of the learning kicked in. My counsolors have tried the "it is a sexual thing", but what is sexual at age 3,4,5,6,7,8, maybe 9,10 is pushing it.

What so many, including us, do not under stand the drive to CD. I know it is the 10 million dollar question.

But for so many of us to be so different, yet so the same is scary to a point. But with the medical information, development information, DES information and limited research, and limited statistics out there i think the facts are on the wall. And that gives me a sense of validity in my cding that I need.

KimberlyS - CD