im 23yers old got my one house good job grate frends but still im SO confused and deprest
I dont no if this will help other than profetionl help wihch scers the hell out of me. i dont no wat elce to do or who to turn to.
over the last 6 to 8 mounths the femminin side of me is screeming to cum out but my life styl is way to masculin for me to let it all cum out. ther is only 2 of my closest frends that no me for who i realy am. also the area i live is still stuk in the stone age!
i can look in the mirro and hate who i im but love wat i can turn my self in to i enjoy it so much i just wish i had sum where i could show my self off to all to see but iv not got the conferdence to back my lust up with!
Hi Megan--
Yeah, not sure why the idea of professional help scares you at this point, but it seems like a good starting place, since you did consider it. It's not being forced on you by someone else.
I agree with Darlene and I´m sure your situation would get much better if you could find a way to accept yourself. Your feminine and masculine side are equally important for your wellbeing as a whole person. To be able to really enjoy life you must nurture both sides.
For me crossdressing is an absolute necessity and if I can´t dress on a regular basis, I get depressed.
I sincerely hope you´ll be able to realise that.
All the best to you
im 23yers old got my one house good job grate frends but still im SO confused and deprest
I dont no if this will help other than profetionl help wihch scers the hell out of me. i dont no wat elce to do or who to turn to.
over the last 6 to 8 mounths the femminin side of me is screeming to cum out but my life styl is way to masculin for me to let it all cum out. ther is only 2 of my closest frends that no me for who i realy am. also the area i live is still stuk in the stone age!
i can look in the mirro and hate who i im but love wat i can turn my self in to i enjoy it so much i just wish i had sum where i could show my self off to all to see but iv not got the conferdence to back my lust up with!
megan
Hi Megan,
I tend to agree with Darlene, but I wonder if you hate yourself simply because you feel the need to crossdress, or if you hate yourself anyway -- irrespective of the crossdressing? Either way, self-hate and loathing is most destructive, and you will not be able to feel good about yourself until to can resolve that issue, which is where a good therapist may be of some help.
You should also be careful about 'coming-out. particularly if you live in an area where such a thing would have dire consequences for you in your everyday life.
Sorry if this is not more helpful.
Regards,
Caroline.
"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." Shakespeare.
The first step is to accept who you are and what you are. Male, yes. Aceept it. CD, yes. accept it. You are a person whole and entire. You are deserving of love and acceptance, most of all from yourself.
I would definitely suggest seeing a consellor. Not necessarily a psychiatrist/psychologist, who is on duty to try and 'cure' you (of what disease may be up in the air; pshrinks can be dangerous!) I wouldn't recomment 'medical therapy' unless you feel your sanity and health are in immediate danger. But a simple impartial ear, someone whose job and duty is to listen to your concerns and provide a 'sonding board' for your inner life, can be an invaluable help. How well I know.
"There's something wrong with him. He should be mine, but he's not. His madness... his madness keeps him sane..."
Delirium, 'the Sandman', Niel Gaiman
INSANE GOTHIK DIVA SYNDROME
The answer is simple: don't flip-flop between extreme masculinity and femininity. Instead live closer to a steady state of balance. Learn to distinguish the male traits that make you feel good from those that make you feel bad.
It's hard to read messages with so many typos. Is this just part of your fem persona? Maybe your male side is overly self-disciplined, so you need your female side to be completely undisciplined as compensation.
Remember that being 'female' isn't just about lust. It's also about being considerate of others.
I agree with Cathy. I've found living closer to the androgynous line has really served me well. When I go to work I under-dress and when I get home I pretty much only wear femme casual attire.
How have you been feeling lately? I hope things are better and the forum helped.
Megan,
My sisters know of what they speak! Most of us have "been there done that." Counseling would be a good first step. You need to determine if in fact you are a crossdresser. Determining that can lead to other doors opening and you must have the courage to walk through them and take advantage of all the opportunities that can come to you.
Good luck and please keep us up to date as you begin to enjoy your "Magical Mystery Tour"
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
Thanks lady's. for all the suport its much apreashated and helpful.
It has bin a long weekend but i think i figerd out wat im going to do with my self live life to the fullest.
I love dressing up iv and dont think i could do without it.
I whent out shopping with a frend to get her sumthing for a party she was gong to and I endied up getting a new out fit and it felt good ##oo## retale terapy it grate ##oo##
I have to agree with all the folks talking about self acceptance.
Crossdressing can be difficult to come to terms with and if you are feeling a compulsion to do it that can be even harder. If you are trying not to do it then it may be hard to know is there an unhealthy compulsive aspect to it.
Feeling out of control, controlled by our desires is a recipe for unhappiness. We need to ask if the desire itself is the problem. For example no one would think there was something wrong with someone lost in the desert for a couple of days without water for feeling totally controlled by their thirst. At the other extreme is the heroin addict who has totally lost control of their life and is being killed by their compulsion to use.
So where does crossdressing fit in? For most of the people here it seems to be something that we feel we need to do but by accepting our need for this we are able to keep our need from running our lives for us. The key to this is self acceptance. But this can be a difficult thing to do. My attitude towards this for myself currently is that I am a man who likes to wear womens clothes sometimes. So what?
On the other hand I have remained quite secretive about it and sometimes wonder if this has been the right approach. I have been considering do I wish to be slightly more open about this and taking an approach of not rushing into anything but of trying to be more open minded and to listen to what I hear in places like this while remembering that we all have what is right for us as opposed to anyone else.
I personally have gotten a lot out of this forum and by reading books about crossdressing if for no other reason that it lets me know I am not alone. There is a remarkable lack of information about us out there but the best guess of the frequency of men who like to crossdress is about 1 percent of the population. Think of how many thousands of men you have come across in daily life, just the vast number of men you have seen walking down the street and you will realize that you have probably had some sort of slight contact with a lot of other crossdressers. It seems to be one of the best kept secrets there is.
Personally I have a lot of faith in the mental health profession. Maybe because I worked in it for a number of years. A therapist who is accepting of crossdressing might be of a lot of help. I know that I was initially astounded at the clarity and acceptance I gained about it in talking with my therapist some years ago-he had a whole different way of thinking about it than I had.
Hope this helps
Keep coming back
Andrea
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
