Like many, I started young, not really understanding it. I can remember being 6-8 and wanting to play beauty parlor with a friend and later getting into mom's clothes. This happened on and off through grade school and in to high school.
It wasn't until college (when, oddly enough, I didn't dress) that I began to explore who I was. Being a psych major (LOL) I of course read the DSM and diagnosed myself. But somehow I also knew that wasn't the whole answer. Truth be told, it wasn't until my late 20's, when I got internet access, that I was able to really learn about crossdressing and understand it.
I am an infrequent dresser, maybe a couple of times a year. The drive is more strong when I am stressed but I always have a connection to my femme side.
My wife recently found out and is none too please with me right now. More over the deceipt than the dressing itself. On the first day, while moving between being angry and just confused, she actually asked me if she needed to buy me clothes. Wow, what a testiment to her strength.
I am still not sure where it all going. I don't dress often but have been wanting to explore that side of me more. Maybe it is in response to my current level of stress (really high for a number of reasons), maybe it's just because I don't want to continue to bury this piece of me. Maybe it's because since the secret is out I feel more entitled, I don't know.
I doubt my wife will ever embrace me CDing (being able to share that part of me with her. I think she may accept it (just don't do it when I am not home and don't wear my clothes, but if you need to do it, do it), but hopefully she will at least understand it.
that's me.
aeryn
The story...
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Wendy
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 4:02 pm
Welcome aeryn, and thanks for sharing your beginnings with us. 
You mentioned that you CD when you are stressed. I can relate, as I find CDing a good way to wind down. I don't know what it is, perhaps the feel of the fabric, but it does help alleviate stress.
I hope your SO becomes more open to your idea of CDing as time goes by.
You mentioned that you CD when you are stressed. I can relate, as I find CDing a good way to wind down. I don't know what it is, perhaps the feel of the fabric, but it does help alleviate stress.
I hope your SO becomes more open to your idea of CDing as time goes by.
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hi Aeryn,
That's a wonderful beginnings story. This area of the forum is my absolute sanctuary because people expose, for the most part, the most innocent time of their CD'ing, the beginnings.
I too was a childhood CD'r. I can only remember once playing with Barbies, but I didn't see what the big deal was? I thought they were totally hot and I got to hold them. I think that's very hetero.
With all kidding aside I'm very happy you told your wife or she found out. That's a secret that you'll read a lot here has, like you said, less to do with CD'ing than it has to do with trust. Bravo to you for testifying to her strength as a woman and your spouse and to you for admitting it and not going back in to a closet of denial.
Ride the waves of change because her mood, temperament, and ability to cope with this will most likely vary from day/week/month to day/week/month. Provide her with as much information as you can and be patient. You'd be the first to tell any of us, she's worth it.
Thanks for telling us about your beginnings. It was truly a refreshing breath of fresh air for me. One last thing? Is that you in the photo or a nice hair shot of a model?
Beauty
That's a wonderful beginnings story. This area of the forum is my absolute sanctuary because people expose, for the most part, the most innocent time of their CD'ing, the beginnings.
I too was a childhood CD'r. I can only remember once playing with Barbies, but I didn't see what the big deal was? I thought they were totally hot and I got to hold them. I think that's very hetero.
With all kidding aside I'm very happy you told your wife or she found out. That's a secret that you'll read a lot here has, like you said, less to do with CD'ing than it has to do with trust. Bravo to you for testifying to her strength as a woman and your spouse and to you for admitting it and not going back in to a closet of denial.
Ride the waves of change because her mood, temperament, and ability to cope with this will most likely vary from day/week/month to day/week/month. Provide her with as much information as you can and be patient. You'd be the first to tell any of us, she's worth it.
Thanks for telling us about your beginnings. It was truly a refreshing breath of fresh air for me.
One last thing? Is that you in the photo or a nice hair shot of a model? Beauty
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Aeryn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 185
- Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:48 pm
It's a nice hair shot, let's me be the woman I am not, if that makes sense. Living vicariously through my avatar!
I'll probably replace it when I get around to photoshopping a different pic.
You mentioned Barbies. Funny, I hever had an interest in "girl" toys beyond playing house. Loved my GI Joes though! I saved the world from Nazis and Aliens so many times. LOL
Aeryn
I'll probably replace it when I get around to photoshopping a different pic.
You mentioned Barbies. Funny, I hever had an interest in "girl" toys beyond playing house. Loved my GI Joes though! I saved the world from Nazis and Aliens so many times. LOL
Aeryn
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Joanna_S
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 118
- Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2004 5:44 am
- Location: Finland
Hi Aeryn and thanks for sharing your story. I had my first CDing experiences at 13 but did it infrequently. Obviously I was trying to deny and forget the whole thing because I honestly believed that there was somehing seriously wrong with me. I finished my studies , went to military service and thought , maybe I was "cured". As I got older ( hopefully wiser too) , I sometimes felt the urge to wear female clothing and often dreamed about having my own wardrobe full of nice clothes.
Sorry, this was meant to be a reply to your story.... What I was going to say is that I think you being infrequent with your dressing could mean that you haven´t really dealt with this crossdressing thing and because you haven´t been able to tell anyone until now. Now your burden is lighter and it may be easier to handle the situation.
We only live once ( James Bond only lives twice) so my advice to you is listen to yourself carefully and your wife more carefully. Dress as often as you feel right but try to make the rules together with your wife. Tell your wife beforehand if you´re going to try something new, for example dress fully, do make-up, wear a wig etc.
I made the mistake of rushing things after telling my gf about my crossdressing. I hope you can avoid that.
Joanna
Sorry, this was meant to be a reply to your story.... What I was going to say is that I think you being infrequent with your dressing could mean that you haven´t really dealt with this crossdressing thing and because you haven´t been able to tell anyone until now. Now your burden is lighter and it may be easier to handle the situation.
We only live once ( James Bond only lives twice
) so my advice to you is listen to yourself carefully and your wife more carefully. Dress as often as you feel right but try to make the rules together with your wife. Tell your wife beforehand if you´re going to try something new, for example dress fully, do make-up, wear a wig etc. I made the mistake of rushing things after telling my gf about my crossdressing. I hope you can avoid that.
Joanna
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Aeryn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 185
- Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:48 pm
I am not sure where things are going right now. My feelings or need to crossdress waxes and wanes. I have gone years without the urge to dress, which does not mean that I have not thought about it, I just have not felt the need to.
Now that my SO knows I don't know what will happen. She is obviously confused about who I am. We have been together for over five years and in that time I have only dressed a few times. But lately, the urge has been stronger, partly related to stress. But at the same time, I want to explore further that side of me.
My wife asked if she needs to buy me clothes, which I thought was very gracious and powerful given she asked me that the same day she found out. But she is far from accepting at this point and we haven't talked about it since that first day. She needs her space to think first.
I am sure we will find a "middle ground". She has already made it clear that if I need to dress, she won't deny me that. But under what house rules, we have yet to discuss.
I appreciate everyone's replies and support and I am glad I found these boards.
Aeryn
Now that my SO knows I don't know what will happen. She is obviously confused about who I am. We have been together for over five years and in that time I have only dressed a few times. But lately, the urge has been stronger, partly related to stress. But at the same time, I want to explore further that side of me.
My wife asked if she needs to buy me clothes, which I thought was very gracious and powerful given she asked me that the same day she found out. But she is far from accepting at this point and we haven't talked about it since that first day. She needs her space to think first.
I am sure we will find a "middle ground". She has already made it clear that if I need to dress, she won't deny me that. But under what house rules, we have yet to discuss.
I appreciate everyone's replies and support and I am glad I found these boards.
Aeryn
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Kyra
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1161
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:04 pm
- Location: Fort Fun, CO
- Contact:
Hi Aeryn,
It's good to see you and your SO are talking about this. If there's one thing I seem to harp on over and over, it's communication. You should tell her all of what you've posted here. If she's not a member yet, ask her to check it out. Our SO section is full of info. I'm sure she can relate to the beautiful ladies here.
As for your situation, I agree that when I'm stressed dressing helps me cope. I like the calming effect it has on me. If that's as far as you need to take it, then that's great. There's no rule that says "every crossdresser must do blah blah blah..." We are all individuals and our personalities are going to differ just as much. I also don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if your desires push you further. It's okay to explore your inner self.
You mentioned boundaries, and I think that's a good start. My SO (Amber) and I did not set boundaries right off, and I think that was a mistake. I assumed too much and tried to rush things. Don't make that mistake. Take your time. Make plans and discuss them before hand.
I think you're doing great, and thanks for sharing with us.
Hugs,
Kyra
It's good to see you and your SO are talking about this. If there's one thing I seem to harp on over and over, it's communication. You should tell her all of what you've posted here. If she's not a member yet, ask her to check it out. Our SO section is full of info. I'm sure she can relate to the beautiful ladies here.
As for your situation, I agree that when I'm stressed dressing helps me cope. I like the calming effect it has on me. If that's as far as you need to take it, then that's great. There's no rule that says "every crossdresser must do blah blah blah..." We are all individuals and our personalities are going to differ just as much. I also don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if your desires push you further. It's okay to explore your inner self.
You mentioned boundaries, and I think that's a good start. My SO (Amber) and I did not set boundaries right off, and I think that was a mistake. I assumed too much and tried to rush things. Don't make that mistake. Take your time. Make plans and discuss them before hand.
I think you're doing great, and thanks for sharing with us.
Hugs,
Kyra
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. - Leonardo DaVinci
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Kristen
- E-mail address not valid - Contact Admin
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 6:20 pm
- Location: Greeley, Colorado
Aeyrn, Your story i find very touching, you write with a very senstive spirit. I wish you the best in finding middle earth with your wife. I hope she can embrace the softer side of you and realize that you are you no matter what you wear. Thanks for opening up to all of us, you are a wonderful story teller. Hugs to you and your wife, ....Kristen
Do want you want to do, be who you want to be.
* * Email address not current as of 10-07-2008! Please contact SilverLady(SO) immediately! See http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... php?t=9237 for further information. Thank You!! * *
* * Email address not current as of 10-07-2008! Please contact SilverLady(SO) immediately! See http://crossdressers-forum.com/forums/v ... php?t=9237 for further information. Thank You!! * *
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Oregon (SO)
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 83
- Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2003 12:27 pm
- Location: Canada
Re: The story...
Welcoem to teh group,
I am teh wife of a cd, knew from the start but I do alot of SO support group stuff, so your story is quiet common.
One thign I watned to interject is this regarding what you wrote:
I am teh wife of a cd, knew from the start but I do alot of SO support group stuff, so your story is quiet common.
One thign I watned to interject is this regarding what you wrote:
Aeryn wrote:.
I am still not sure where it all going. I don't dress often but have been wanting to explore that side of me more. Maybe it is in response to my current level of stress (really high for a number of reasons), maybe it's just because I don't want to continue to bury this piece of me. Maybe it's because since the secret is out I feel more entitled, I don't know.
THis is what makes women crazy. The line "I am not sure where it is all going. " when a guy says that our mind strats thinking of worst case scenarios. What I tell cd's is this, instead of gving a vague I dont' know...say I am not sure about some things but this is what I am sure of. And that list can include if this applies to you: I want to stay your husband. I want to stay faithful. I want to stay a male. I want to continue to love you the same. , ect, ect. What needs to happen once the bomb is dropped is a declaration of things you are SURE of. That give her some foundation to know "okay these thigns will not happen. " Now I can focus on the parts he is Unsure of. And stop wasting engery and worry on thigns that will not happen.
I dated a cd (prior to marying my hubby) and he used to give me vauge statements that scared me to death. I did love this person (and they are still a very close and dear friend) but he could never give me a solid answer to anything. Needless to say a relationship was not in our future.
If trust has been tested or broken re-building the foundation to start anew on will make things alot easier for you both.
And really, if you are only dresing a couple of times a year I doubt you ahve going to start living as a female next year....
hugs
kathy in canada
I doubt my wife will ever embrace me CDing (being able to share that part of me with her. I think she may accept it (just don't do it when I am not home and don't wear my clothes, but if you need to do it, do it), but hopefully she will at least understand it.
that's me.
aeryn
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Aeryn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 185
- Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:48 pm
Re: The story...
Kathy,Kathy SO wrote:Welcoem to teh group,
I am teh wife of a cd, knew from the start but I do alot of SO support group stuff, so your story is quiet common.
One thign I watned to interject is this regarding what you wrote:
Aeryn wrote:.
THis is what makes women crazy. The line "I am not sure where it is all going. " when a guy says that our mind strats thinking of worst case scenarios.
I understand what you are saying. When my SO found out the first thing we talked about was A) I am not gay, B) I don't want to be a woman, C) I don't want to take hormones, C) I am committed to our marriage, D) I want to be a husband and father and not take on a wife or mother role.
When I said I wasn't sure where it is all going I was referring more to our relationship and her leel of understanding, acceptance, and foregiveness for the deceipt.
Aeryn
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Aeryn
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 185
- Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 2:48 pm
Since "My story" is ever evolving, I decided to turn this thread into a diary. Never had one before. Well, I did have one briefly but was too lazy to keep up with it. So my ramblings will now have a home.
My SO and I had our second and third talk since she found out three weeks ago.
My SO is an amazingly strong woman. Even though she doesn't understand who I am (sometimes I am not sure) and I don't think she fully understands TG/CD (again, sometimes I am not sure I do), she is doing a great job of trying to understand something she doesn't want in her life, especially with all the anger she has toward me right now. Wow. I definately picked the right woman to marry, unforunately, she may have picked the wrong man. Hopefully I will be the right man again at some point.
Anger is the dominant emotion right now, anger at my deceipt for not telling her. I wish I could change that. I wish I had had the courage to tell her when the feelings resurface after eight years. I wish I had resisted the urges, knowing that ultimately the feelings would cycle away again, as has been my history. Could I have? Who knows. Fact is, I didn't.
So we talked about what she needs- honesty. I can understand that and to be honest (pardon the pun), now that all is out that is much easier. I can't deny that having the secret out is better but I hate how I feel for having lied. I hid behind the guilt and the shame and the fear and now that hiding is gone. But it's been replaced with shame for lying, fear of losing my SO and guilt for not trusting her with the truth.
We talked about what I need. No clear answer to that. I am such an infrequent dresser (hadn't dressed in eight years) that I am not even sure I am CD. Perhaps I am TG with CD tendencies. <g>
But anyway, I thought that was pretty amazing from my wife. She will never embrace my CDing. We will never hang out while I am dressed. H*ll,I couldn't deal with that! She will never accept that side of me, most likely because that is not who she married. Could she have accepted if I told her during courtship? Maybe. Fact is, we will never know.
My wife is willing to accept that I may need to dress. Again, I dress so infrequently that who knows if the urge will come again in the near future. What I have noticed about myself is I cycle and apparently have long cycles. But the other thing I have noticed is my urge to dress happens more when I am stressed, and there has been major stress in my life lately. So my wife, even amid (sp) her anger was caple of asking me what I needed. I told her if were to dress again I would need clothes (hers off limits, which is fair). Would I also need makeup and breast forms (my pondering, not her question)? Might be nice to complete the look, but do I need them? Never used makeup or had breast forms before so I doubt it. But should I plan ahead in case I may want them? Don't know.
We did establish rules, which was good.
No dressing when my wife or child are in the house. No problem, could never do that anyway.
No wearing my wife's clothes. Understandable. She is such a great dresser though. <g>
No buying anything without her approval, she wants veto power.
So where to things go from here? Don't know.
Lots of don't knows here, probably too many for my wife's liking. But there are some things I am certain of:
I don't want hormones or to alter my body to be more feminine. Shave my legs? Never! I like them the way they are thank you very much.
I don't want to go out en femme. When I do dress, it is a personal and private thing.
I am sure there are other things I am certain of but it's 2 AM here and and I am not sure I am coherent any longer. So I will quit while I am ahead (I think)
My wife reads these boards. I have encouraged her to post but she'll probably just lurk.
aeryn
My SO and I had our second and third talk since she found out three weeks ago.
My SO is an amazingly strong woman. Even though she doesn't understand who I am (sometimes I am not sure) and I don't think she fully understands TG/CD (again, sometimes I am not sure I do), she is doing a great job of trying to understand something she doesn't want in her life, especially with all the anger she has toward me right now. Wow. I definately picked the right woman to marry, unforunately, she may have picked the wrong man. Hopefully I will be the right man again at some point.
Anger is the dominant emotion right now, anger at my deceipt for not telling her. I wish I could change that. I wish I had had the courage to tell her when the feelings resurface after eight years. I wish I had resisted the urges, knowing that ultimately the feelings would cycle away again, as has been my history. Could I have? Who knows. Fact is, I didn't.
So we talked about what she needs- honesty. I can understand that and to be honest (pardon the pun), now that all is out that is much easier. I can't deny that having the secret out is better but I hate how I feel for having lied. I hid behind the guilt and the shame and the fear and now that hiding is gone. But it's been replaced with shame for lying, fear of losing my SO and guilt for not trusting her with the truth.
We talked about what I need. No clear answer to that. I am such an infrequent dresser (hadn't dressed in eight years) that I am not even sure I am CD. Perhaps I am TG with CD tendencies. <g>
But anyway, I thought that was pretty amazing from my wife. She will never embrace my CDing. We will never hang out while I am dressed. H*ll,I couldn't deal with that! She will never accept that side of me, most likely because that is not who she married. Could she have accepted if I told her during courtship? Maybe. Fact is, we will never know.
My wife is willing to accept that I may need to dress. Again, I dress so infrequently that who knows if the urge will come again in the near future. What I have noticed about myself is I cycle and apparently have long cycles. But the other thing I have noticed is my urge to dress happens more when I am stressed, and there has been major stress in my life lately. So my wife, even amid (sp) her anger was caple of asking me what I needed. I told her if were to dress again I would need clothes (hers off limits, which is fair). Would I also need makeup and breast forms (my pondering, not her question)? Might be nice to complete the look, but do I need them? Never used makeup or had breast forms before so I doubt it. But should I plan ahead in case I may want them? Don't know.
We did establish rules, which was good.
No dressing when my wife or child are in the house. No problem, could never do that anyway.
No wearing my wife's clothes. Understandable. She is such a great dresser though. <g>
No buying anything without her approval, she wants veto power.
So where to things go from here? Don't know.
Lots of don't knows here, probably too many for my wife's liking. But there are some things I am certain of:
I don't want hormones or to alter my body to be more feminine. Shave my legs? Never! I like them the way they are thank you very much.
I don't want to go out en femme. When I do dress, it is a personal and private thing.
I am sure there are other things I am certain of but it's 2 AM here and and I am not sure I am coherent any longer. So I will quit while I am ahead (I think)
My wife reads these boards. I have encouraged her to post but she'll probably just lurk.
aeryn
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi Aeryn--
Well, it seems unfair that an infrequent dresser who has gone eight years without much dressing is the one that gets caught, but that's the situation.
I have to feel like the benefits of not having to keep the secret anymore will eventually outweigh the liabilities; you're even saying it's better now.
Like anyone, I have private things that I keep to myself. The fact that I crossdressed when I was a teen was one of them; since I basically stopped at 17, it was not an ongoing secret that I had to hold onto. I even told some girlfriends about my past, and that seems crazy now. I wonder why they didn't worry about it? I guess they could see that I had no "charge" about it--it really WAS part of my past, at that time. And I never had any clothes.
But I dislike holding onto secrets--I am no good at it. It bothers me so much that I'm miserable. I do not know why some things cross the line from "private" to "secret" for me, but they do. And as soon as they cross that invisible line inside me, I need to talk to the other people involved.
So given my history with secrets, I'm always glad when someone stops holding onto them. OK, I'm hypersensitive maybe, but it's got to be a drain on anyone, not just me. It has to be taking away from other parts of life to hold onto a secret. That's how I experience it, anyway. Sometimes I've been forced to do so, and I have always found some way around it.
I wish you the best in building up trust with your wife, Aeryn. I hope that you will not play "coulda shoulda" too much around all this; what's done is in the past, and you're in the here/now. May it be productive!
Well, it seems unfair that an infrequent dresser who has gone eight years without much dressing is the one that gets caught, but that's the situation.
I have to feel like the benefits of not having to keep the secret anymore will eventually outweigh the liabilities; you're even saying it's better now.
Like anyone, I have private things that I keep to myself. The fact that I crossdressed when I was a teen was one of them; since I basically stopped at 17, it was not an ongoing secret that I had to hold onto. I even told some girlfriends about my past, and that seems crazy now. I wonder why they didn't worry about it? I guess they could see that I had no "charge" about it--it really WAS part of my past, at that time. And I never had any clothes.
But I dislike holding onto secrets--I am no good at it. It bothers me so much that I'm miserable. I do not know why some things cross the line from "private" to "secret" for me, but they do. And as soon as they cross that invisible line inside me, I need to talk to the other people involved.
So given my history with secrets, I'm always glad when someone stops holding onto them. OK, I'm hypersensitive maybe, but it's got to be a drain on anyone, not just me. It has to be taking away from other parts of life to hold onto a secret. That's how I experience it, anyway. Sometimes I've been forced to do so, and I have always found some way around it.
I wish you the best in building up trust with your wife, Aeryn. I hope that you will not play "coulda shoulda" too much around all this; what's done is in the past, and you're in the here/now. May it be productive!
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Kyra
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1161
- Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 11:04 pm
- Location: Fort Fun, CO
- Contact:
Hi Aeryn,
I'd like to thank you for sharing such private thoughts. You seem to be coping well with all that's happened. Your wife seems to also. I'm very glad you're being open and honest with her. (It does feel good, huh?) Give her time and space. She needs to digest everything, and it may take awhile. Setting boundaries is also a good thing. Most importantly (IMO) is to talk to her. Keep the communication going, it's the best thing for a healthy relationship.
I find that if I'm too stressed or angry to talk, I make a mental note to share my feelings when I calm down. (No more hinding my feelings)
My SO (Amber, who is a member here) and I are coping too. She is at a crossroads right now. She wants to be accepting, but is having difficulties with it all. Your wife loves you. That's pretty evident, so all you really need is to give her time. (Patience, my dear... )
So...that's my thoughts. Thanks again for being so transparent with us.
Hugs,
Kyra
I'd like to thank you for sharing such private thoughts. You seem to be coping well with all that's happened. Your wife seems to also. I'm very glad you're being open and honest with her. (It does feel good, huh?) Give her time and space. She needs to digest everything, and it may take awhile. Setting boundaries is also a good thing. Most importantly (IMO) is to talk to her. Keep the communication going, it's the best thing for a healthy relationship.
I find that if I'm too stressed or angry to talk, I make a mental note to share my feelings when I calm down. (No more hinding my feelings)
My SO (Amber, who is a member here) and I are coping too. She is at a crossroads right now. She wants to be accepting, but is having difficulties with it all. Your wife loves you. That's pretty evident, so all you really need is to give her time. (Patience, my dear...
)So...that's my thoughts. Thanks again for being so transparent with us.
Hugs,
Kyra
For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return. - Leonardo DaVinci
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Dixie Darling
- Miss Sapphire Goddess
- Posts: 92
- Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2003 4:58 pm
- Location: Southeast United States
- Contact:
Aeryn,
First, my compliments to your wife for her toleration - and you can relate that to her for me if you'd like.
You are in a situation similar to SO many other CDs I've known. The need (to dress) is there at random times - especially during stress - and in your case not that often. You might, or might NOT, like to hear theis, but as you get older the frequency of your need to dress is apt to become higher. This is pretty normal in the life of a CD, so don't be alarmed about it when you see it happening.
Since you've stated that your wife reads the messages on this forum let me address this next statement to her, for her own benefit. For Aeryn's wife: Your husband's need to crossdress isn't as unusual as you might suspect. Nor was his reluctance to TEL you about it before you two were married. If he's like most crossdressers his deep love and appreciation for you decieved him into believing that once the two of you were married that his crossdressing would be nothing more than a memory from the past. Unfortunately for him (as well as every other crossdresser I know) this doesn't happen. Understand that this is a NEED that he was born with and consequently he had no choice in the matter andy more than he (or you) had in who would be your parents, what color your eyes would be, or any of hundreds of other non-selective choices.
I would like to offer you the information on my web site to help you understand this need that he has and to help BOTH of you learn to cope with it. Believe it or not, it CAN be a fun experience if you will just let it become one. The URL to my site is just after my femme name below and I would genuinely appreciate it if you'd let me know if you found it to be helpful.
Dixie Darling -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
First, my compliments to your wife for her toleration - and you can relate that to her for me if you'd like.
You are in a situation similar to SO many other CDs I've known. The need (to dress) is there at random times - especially during stress - and in your case not that often. You might, or might NOT, like to hear theis, but as you get older the frequency of your need to dress is apt to become higher. This is pretty normal in the life of a CD, so don't be alarmed about it when you see it happening.
Since you've stated that your wife reads the messages on this forum let me address this next statement to her, for her own benefit. For Aeryn's wife: Your husband's need to crossdress isn't as unusual as you might suspect. Nor was his reluctance to TEL you about it before you two were married. If he's like most crossdressers his deep love and appreciation for you decieved him into believing that once the two of you were married that his crossdressing would be nothing more than a memory from the past. Unfortunately for him (as well as every other crossdresser I know) this doesn't happen. Understand that this is a NEED that he was born with and consequently he had no choice in the matter andy more than he (or you) had in who would be your parents, what color your eyes would be, or any of hundreds of other non-selective choices.
I would like to offer you the information on my web site to help you understand this need that he has and to help BOTH of you learn to cope with it. Believe it or not, it CAN be a fun experience if you will just let it become one. The URL to my site is just after my femme name below and I would genuinely appreciate it if you'd let me know if you found it to be helpful.
Dixie Darling -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd
"If you're going to LOOK like a lady, then ACT like one too!"