Gender Programming 101

[Angie]

I stoppped by the local WalMart to pick up a few things during lunch today. While I was there, I overheard a conversation between a mother and her 4 - 5 year old son. Apparently, he was rather taken with a pair of "Dora the Explorer" flip-flops. His mother quickly reminded him that "Boys don't wear Dora".

Now on the one hand, I completely understand a mother not wanting her son to face possible ridicule for "being different". On the other hand, I have to wonder if her reasoning was less a concern of ridicule and more just a perpetuation of gender stereotypes.

The reason this stuck with me was that it focuses on one of the reasons that I crossdress - I happen to like the way some womens' styles look and don't want to be restricted from wearing such attire just because it deviates from society's "norms". I doubt that the boy gave the gender of the shoes a second thought. They simply appealed to him visually. I'm probably making more of an issue than the situation merits. Still, I'm amazed at the restrictions we manage to impose on ourselves in the name of conformity. I conformed for nearly 15 years and wish that I could get those years back.

Take Care
Angie

[Alexandra]

wish that I could get those years back.

exactly! TAKE CHARGE of your life and live it! Don't let others get in your way!

[Beauty]

Hi Angie,

Yes I also wonder was she doing it for him, herself, or because that's the way she was taught and so now she enforces that behavior.

I do have a similar story to share. My laserologist said someone she knew had their son go to the store for easter clothes shopping a year or so ago. He had a sister and his sister got a pretty dress and so the little boy said he wanted one too. I love this kid! When he didn't get his way he threw a HUGE tantrum in the store and started screaming, "I want a dress too!"

They finally got him out of the store, but my little hero kept talking about the dress for days after the event and the mom said he was still bringing it up. The mother is a rather open mom and told my laserologist she'll let him develop the way he wants, but she still didn't know what to do (how to proceed).

Thanks for giving me the chance to talk about this Angie and for starting a rather thought provoking thread.

Beauty

[Virginia]

Hi Angie,
Looking forward to September I hope!?
If one plays the odds, it is a good bet the mother was just enforcing the way that she was brought up. It is my considered opinion that no mother would allow her child upto age what 16 -17 -19 to go to school or out in public dressed as the opposite sex. However given the acceptable dress code for GG's the little girls are more apt to "get away with it" more than a little boy in a dress. Can you imagine the repercusions allowing a 7-8-9 year old to go to school in a dress???? I would venture to say that Social Services would probably get involved and the government might possibly even remove the child from the home.
We still have a ways to go ladies!
Virginia

[DonnaT]

Just read a story on the internet yesterday about a little boy who wanted to be a girl at age 3. He was having so much trouble in school that his mother and father finally took him to see a counselor who had only read about transgenderism. This was back a while. Anyway, they finally let him become the girl he wanted and he/she became a girl in grade school also with the schools permission. She went from barely surviving in school to straight A's.

So, there are parents that have the fortitude to do what is right for their children, even if society in general believes it to be wrong.

[Beauty]

Bravo to those parents!!!!



Thanks for posting that Donna!

Beauty

[Violet]

That is such an affirmation. It's nice to know that at least *some* people are willing to look beyond the memetic structures that have calcified in their own brains and give the younger generation a clean slate to write on! As long as the younger generation has serious psychological issues, of course...

A little while ago as I was walking home with a friend, a little girl came up to me and asked, 'are you a boy or a girl?' (It was probably the flamin'-rainbow scarf around my waist, the fringe hanging down about my waist on each side, that confused her....) I replied, 'I'm neither.' She then said, 'you look like a girl!' To which I responded, 'thank you!'