Say what??

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:07 pm

I have got to share this little gem, actually I feel sorry for my SO. As you kow we are dissolving our 28 year marriage, I guess primarily over my crossdressing - whatever. Anyway I keep asking her if she is sure that this is what she wants?? She says she thinks so, so I offer that we are mature individuals and can sit down and do a property distribution and have an attorney draw it up as opposed to an adversarial situation were she gets her an attorney and it gets ugly. Well she seemed to agree, so today she leaves me this message on our answering machine. " Have your attorney draw up a distribution and I will take it to my attorney to see if its fair." SAY WHAT !!!!!???????????? Jesus Christ could draw up this document and whoever her attorney is would NOT find it fair!!! As Ron White, the comedian says, "things that make you go ---buhhhh??!!"
Day at a time, just a day at a time!
Virginia

Sinjoy(SO) · Post by **Sinjoy(SO)** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:15 pm

Dear Virginia,

Let me first send my condolences on the break up of your marraige. I am glad that you are at least being true to yourself, the REAL you.kutos on that.

You are right know matter what you and your lawyer come up with, her laywer will find it unfair. The more fighting the lawyers do the more money they make.

Go with G-d and be happy. Again, I'm glad your being true to you!!

All my love,

Sinjoy(so)

Post by **DonnaT** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 5:51 pm

Did she not understand that you'd both go together to a common attorney instead of having two attorneys cause problems?

Maybe she needs a better explanation.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Mar 18, 2005 9:17 pm

Thanks, Donna, I spoke with my attorney and she said that since this whole idea is hers to begin with, the proverbial ball is in her court. Let her draw up the distribution and bring it to me and then the fun will begin, so right now I ain't doin nuttin, just sit back and enjoy Virginia!!!
Love ya,
Virginia

RobynP · Post by **RobynP** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:29 am

Virginia,

I am sorry to hear about your marriage breaking up... Been there, done that, got the T-shirt... My marriage lasted 20 years, many of them very rocky. We didn't split up primarily because of the cding but it was certainly a major contributing factor.

Been through all the hassles with the lawyers. Feel free to meesage me if you have any questions or just to talk.

I am not making the same mistake twice!!!! My girlfriend and I have been working on integrating the cding into our relationship. I made sure that when I was dating and things started getting a little serious, I would disclose my cding. Even though some of the ladies weren't exactly charmed by it, no one ever ran away screaming...

Hang in there! The first year or two is the pits but it does get better.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 8:06 am

Hi Robyn,
thanks fo rthe support. The thing that hurts me most is that it does not appear that she has a clue. Even with her "brain operation" back in December and the fact that she lost her job and now can not drive a car and has moved in with her 80+ year old parents and they drive her around (I hope she is not driving) I feel sorry for her and still want to take care of her, but she does not want that so ...... not wishiing to appear selffish, but I am movin on down the road. Life is too short and I and enjoying Virginia and she appears to enjoy me so we are just takeing eachother's hand and continuing our "Magical Mystery Tour."
Love,
Virginia

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Sat Mar 19, 2005 2:17 pm

When I split up with my ex-husband, we each made lists of what we would like to have and then sat down at the kitchen table and negotiated it. Somehow we were able to be fair and allow each other respect and then just added it into the paper work of our divorce. It made things much easier. Oh yea, we also had the document notarized at the bank. That way we both signed off on it that we were in agreement to what the document said.

Kay(SO)

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:17 pm

Thanks, Kay, we did do the list and it seemed to work out but she has since discarded it and I think she is getting some "bogus" advise from someone. She has two friends that are both divorced and one really got screwed over by the court so who knows what they may be telling her!
Day at a time, just a day at a time and any way Spring is here!!!!!!!
Virginia

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:33 am

That's sad to hear. My ex is still convinced 10 years later, that I'm somehow out to "get" him and his money. He's an backside. He resents the child support that he is forced to pay and thinks I had control over the amount the court ordered. Hey, it's not my fault. They calculated it based on his income. He has since retired from the military and has not come forward with any new civilian job info and I'm certain that he thinks I'll go after more support. Not true. I'm quite happy with what he pays me. If he acts like a butt about things I will however ask for a review and then he'll end up paying more. Oh, the games we play. I really have tried to be fair and not be mean. I even waived rights to his retirement in leiu of 4 years of alimony from him. Anyhoo, I do wish you the best of luck in your situation. And it's beautiful here, lovely spring weather!

Kay(SO)

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon Mar 21, 2005 4:49 pm

Hi Kay,
I can hardly believe winter may actually be going bye bye!!! I have a small maple in my front yard an I swear that with in the past 12 hours it has begun to bud!! I am so excited - warm or warmer weather I hope!!!
Thing about NC you guys have to start dodging some severe weather now. Hope you don't get hit by anything.
I know that you know that "resistence" to child support and/or alimony is just a guy thing. Most of "us" figure that if we can't milk the cow then why should we be forced to feed her?! Think I heard that on the Andy Griffin show??!! Anyway I am glod that you are doing OK and that you offer your input to us here! I for one sincerely appreciate it!
Love,
Virginia

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:28 am

Virginia,

I do hope all goes well for you in the demise of your lengthly marriage. So much for the lovely spring weather. We're not having thunderstorms and near tornados! Bleh! The dog is hiding under the bed now so I must get him out. Oh yea and my clod of an ex husband somehow thinks that I'm living high on the hog with the child support he gives me for our daughters. I think the real reason he resents giving it is because I left him and our marriage, not the other way around. It makes sense on one hand and on the other, it makes him a creton. It has little to do with me (the $) but it's for them. TTFN and hugs,

Kay(SO)

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Say what??

Say what??

Your right, it won't be fair