About the child thing...

[Oregon (SO)]

I read with interest Ada's post to the friends and family section and found her post very touching as the daughter of a cd. As I had stated in my introduction my husband and I are expecting our first (and only) child in February. We have had many long talks amonst ourselves and also with two trusted pychologists, that given our stance and the impact of this on our life that we plan on being open from day one.

I knew from the start and have not only supported, but encouraged my husbands feminine persona in our married life. We basically have our entire infastructure of friends who are all couples where the husband is tg in some way. I also have made sure that any new friends I have made and once we have a real friendship going, that they know about us. As I do hate lying all the time and coming up with excuses as to what we are doing and going ect. My husbands mom also knows and is very supportive of us as well. My mom and dad actually live 1700 miles so at this time them being 'in the know' about us is not really relevant.

But I did find it interesting that Ada mentioned feeling a bit decieved and somewhat out of the loop of knowledge in this. I certainly know of the strong ties that a father has to his daughter, as I certainly have much love for my own dad. To me, her situation has only reinforced our idea that our daughter (yes we did a very clear test and now know) will be aware from day one about us. My husbands dressing has been (thankfully) a very postive impact on our life as I met him through his femme website and that was the reason initially for bringing us together.

I also am fortunate that he pretty much has no residual guilt or weird feelings about himself. He has no desire to take his dressing any further than our weekend Amanda time and enjoys his male life wtih me as much as his femme one. We are monogomous and good communication and are very loving to each other. We both are so excited to be having a child and I know we both have so much love to give our little one.

I know alot of people in various crossdressing forums or in real life have sort of chastized us for our child rearing strategy. But to me, I think being honest, loving, and just being comfortable around this person who will basically be living with us for the next 18 years will be alot easier than having to hide/sneak/and lie. I just can't imagine 'us' being 'us' without this not coming into our regular family life.

Some of the friends in our social group are actually going to plan a baby shower so the guys can attend (as many have never done that sort of thing). I don't see any reason our child won't be coming with us when we go out of town and do the two girl thing and when we see our friends as well. She is certainly going to have plenty of aunts!

I am not sure if this post will incite negative responses or not, but it has made me only realize even more what we are doing for our particular situation is best for our family.

Most sincerely
Kathy in Canada

[Beauty]

Hi Kathy,

I don't think you'll get any negative responses. This post is really very thought provoking.

Since I'm not a parent, I'll sit and watch this one.

Great post!!!!

Beauty

[Alexandra]

"I know alot of people in various crossdressing forums or in real life have sort of chastized us for our child rearing strategy."

Not from me. I support what you've decided. Your new daughter is going to be one well-adjusted girl just by having such concerned parents such as yourself.

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

I agree with Alexandra as each child and situation is different...you are doing what is best for your child and your situation and I support that

[Ada B(GG)]

I take issue with the way I found out, by accident...the surprise...the lying that led up to it…but in truth I really know what I think about telling children…how to, when to…I don’t know what I on the whole…but I do know that I would not want to know about as a kid…in fact I’m happy I didn’t know about it in my childhood…especially since it is a family secret that only my parents and I know…and the community I grew up in…well it would be hard to carry that knowledge as a child in society…I would have had a very hard time knowing back then…but this is just me…it sounds like you have a very open and accepting community…that is not the case where I’m from…I feel like I have a duty to elucidate my thoughts…though my attempt to clarity is vague…if my experience has affected your decision…I’m not sure if…well I’m not sure about all this…I don’t know exactly how I feel…that’s all…you will have to excuse the exorbitant use of ellipsis dots
Ps- CONGRADS ABOUT YOUR LITTLE GIRL!!! You must be so excited about the new family member! I hope all goes well