Telling your SO

How are you dealing with or handling this aspect of your life?

Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn

User avatar
CJ
Miss Diamond Goddess
Posts: 3562
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Telling your SO

Post by CJ »

Hi all,

In light of Allena's recent struggles with revealing this side of herself to her wife, I thought I'd try to catch some of the forum's topics on the issue of how to go about telling your SO. To my surprise, I can't find any. :!: Am I missing something, here?

Anyway, I thought I'd start a new topic on the subject. Perhaps those of you who've gone through the whole process can be of help to those who haven't.

I'll start the ball rolling by providing a link to Linda Kaye's "Telling Your Partner" page.

http://www.3dcom.com/couples/telling.html

Love,
CJ
Image
User avatar
RikkiOfLA
Miss Platinum Goddess
Posts: 298
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2003 11:39 pm
Location: Los Angeles, California, USA

Post by RikkiOfLA »

WOW! Linda Kaye sure said a mouthful, and put it so beautifully! Thank you, Christina, for finding that and posting the link. :)
Love and respect,
Rikki
Cyndee
Miss Crystal Goddess
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2003 1:29 pm

Post by Cyndee »

CJ


It was so very good to post a site that has such very good suggestions of how to tell ones SO. I hope al that are in such a sitaution have a look at the site

AsI read it I saw where I too had taken many of the aproaches that were desrcibed but not to be a negative person but a realist , there is always the distinct possibiity there will never be acceptance and there could eventually be hell to pay. This must be remembered

I dont believe it should be be withheld but if the extent of ones dressing can easily be hidden and your assesment is for a poor outcome, one may consider it to remain a secret.


I hope for others that I am in the minority as I have recieved the complete and utter intolerance and repulsion of CD by my SO.

Cyndee
User avatar
Anne
Miss Platinum Goddess
Posts: 390
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2003 3:58 pm
Location: Mid-Atlantic

Post by Anne »

Cyndee wrote:CJ
I hope for others that I am in the minority as I have recieved the complete and utter intolerance and repulsion of CD by my SO.

Cyndee
I have received near complete intolerance myself. She now knows I have my own clothing nd when the family is away that I might dress but scorns me for it.
Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Post by Beauty »

Hi Anne,

:( I'm sorry to hear that. I'm also sorry for all of those who don't have accepting SOs. :(

How long have you been married? Did she find out after you were married?

Back is September you were hoping you could work on things with her. How is that going? :?

Hang in there. :cry:

Beauty
Cyndee
Miss Crystal Goddess
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2003 1:29 pm

Post by Cyndee »

Beauty, Rikki, et al


I think in these matters since there is no survey to determine accurately those SO's who really are accepting, tolerant but not completely accepting, or completely intolerant and repulsed we only have what we read here and there and of course our direct experience in the matter.

In the absence of a good survey of course I can very much swayed by the response of my SO. Each situation will clearly differ and be independent of any other.

Since an SO often has extensive time, effort and love and caring in a relationship one can see why some may accept to a degree.

On the other hand, another interesting question is what would be the acceptance rate of women with mne when told upfront of ones CD background and desires In this case the woman unlike in a marriage has made little investment in the relationship.

Or put another way. How would an accepting spouse answer to the question "If a man had told you early in dating you that he ws a CD would you continue the relationship and or think you may like to marry such a person?

I dont try here to make any value judgements but in the absence of any solid survey these are questions of interest.

However, because each situation is so different the answer to these questions has no actual bearing on one's particular situation.

In other words surveys are nice but it may not ever fit you.

Cyndee
Beauty
Retired Site Administrator
Posts: 3662
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
Location: Northern VA
Contact:

Post by Beauty »

Post Reply