It's Okay

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Thu May 12, 2005 7:37 am

I'm not sure why but today "it's okay" seems to be my motto. My husband is off dressing for the weekend and I must have grown tremendously over the past year because the arrangement we have now is okay with me. I don't even have any of the old anxiety or feel weird in the least. In the past I might have even felt resentful but today it's okay. I don't have any negative feelings at all. Go figure. We have actually found a comfort zone with CDing. I can be a part of it when I want to and can sit out too. I can allow him space and not feel insecure or a lack of trust and feel that we are finally reconnecting after a long spell of being so far apart mentally and emotionally that it was painful. I feel hope, love and secure in our relationship for the first time in awhile and that is definately okay! Anyhoo, I bought him a new spring dress for our anniversary last month and hope he enjoys trying it on. I'm going to get him a couple of new skirts too. As if he doesn't have enough clothes! But even that's okay. We're wearing the same size now and can exchange clothes during our upcoming vacation. Anyhoo, I just felt like writing while I'm feeling good for a change instead of mooing or complaining. Life if good today and that is way more than okay...

Hugs,

Kay(SO)

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Thu May 12, 2005 11:00 am

Hi Kay.

Days like this ARE nice, aren't they. Congratulations!!!!

!
Hummm, maybe we can think of a way to bottle it..................? We could make a mint!!!

Love, Carolynn

Georgia(SO) · Post by **Georgia(SO)** » Thu May 12, 2005 11:53 am

WAHOO for Kay and her sweetie!
-g(so)

Sinjoy(SO) · Post by **Sinjoy(SO)** » Thu May 12, 2005 1:06 pm

Dear Kay,

Enjoy today, and I wish you (and the rest of us) many, mant, many, more. You gave me something to look forward to. For that, I thank you.

Sinjoy(so)

GalicianGirl(SO) · Post by **GalicianGirl(SO)** » Thu May 12, 2005 2:53 pm

Kay(SO),

I think that time has something to do with how we see things. I'm sure you both have grown a lot over the past year. It seems you are at peace today with things that you have been having problems with in the past. A great accomplishment!!!

Enjoy yourself today and the rest of the weekend...

Sharon(SO)

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Thu May 12, 2005 6:51 pm

Good for you Kay!!!

You are so wonderful and you've managed the bad times better than a great deal of people handle good times. I think you have showed open communication, honesty, respect for yourself and respect for your husband and all the while you were a strong woman and mom in your household.

I think you're a star for being able to be yourself and managing such a tough situation emotionally and mentally. Your honesty has helped me gain insight into my own wife. Your openness has been pretty humbling and has taught me humility and given me strength to say things that I may not have said. You are just plain super cool lady!

Bravo for being comfortable with yourself to allow yourself to evolve. From everything I've read I feel you're a great communicator, wife, mom, and friend. Sorry if it sounds like I'm pouring it on too thick Kay, but I mean it. You've been so incredibly direct and forthcoming and that's just not easy to find in this day and age when people are punished for saying what they feel. You stand by your feelings and you do it in a firm but caring way.

Like Sharon said I hope you enjoy your time today and the rest of the weekend.

Beauty

Sally · Post by **Sally** » Thu May 12, 2005 8:38 pm

Hi Kay,

I'd like to endorse Beauty's comments threefold, you are a special person. It's wonderful to see good news stories as we're sometimes prone to writing about the not so good times readily and sometimes neglecting to tell of the sides to it all.

Finding that comfort zone is something which is quite an achievement and a necessity I feel, although many do fail to achieve it If there can be give and take with it just as there has to be with everything else in a marriage then I've found we've been able to take our relationship to a new level.

It's funny, because just as I was reading your post my wife arrived home from a shopping trip and she waltzed in saying she'd found a dark pink cardigan she'd been searching for for me for some time. After I'd read your message I thought back to the times when she was struggling with it all and the times we went through to finally arrive at the point where we are now, where she's found her comfort zone. There was a time when I thought she would never cope, but nowadays she's my greatest supporter.

There was a time when I doubted she could or would ever be able to come to terms with me as she'd grown up with no knowledge or contact with people like me, but as in most cases, if there's true love it'll find a way of solving most situations.

I hope life just just gets better and better for you both.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Thu May 12, 2005 9:15 pm

Beauty and Sally,

You two made me have to get the box of Kleenex! Thanks so much for your loving, kind and generous words. It did turn out to be a great day all the way through! My honey called me and he spoke lovingly to me, saying words I've been longing to hear. He must also be feeling the good vibrations! It's so nice and the peace I'm expressing is so true and honest. I feel this sense of relief somehow and know that all is right with my world. Geeze has this been a long time coming! I guess all I had to do is hang on with both hands and certainly wear my helmet for the ride of my life. In some ways, it feels like I've reached a place in my journey where I'm just kind of cruising along and in other's it's like we've taken a fork in the road and we're beginning a new journey together. Actually, my whole family is on a new journey with my daughter who has been ill and in treatment. We've all been working so hard mentally and emotionally to come together. I guess that's why I feel the way I do. Whew! And to think when I posted this morning I thought it was just a passing phase. Maybe it will last awhile and I can enjoy it longer! I guess I'd better not get too greedy.

Thanks again friends, love to all,

Kay(SO)

CJ · Post by CJ » Mon May 16, 2005 7:22 pm

Hi all,

It's okay?

Hmmm... rhymes with "Oh, it's Kay!"

I'm glad to hear you and your DH are currently cruising in a comfort zone, Kay. Good for you! Happy Anniversary, by the way. I hope you'll be treating yourselves and each other in a special way on that special occasion.

Love,
CJ

Kay(SO) · Post by **Kay(SO)** » Tue May 17, 2005 7:26 am

Hey friends,

I went through the entire weekend with my husband away dressing and the only thing that happened was that I missed him! I didn't feel any weird or negative feelings at all, ever, the entire weekend. I had a great time playing with my daughter and hubby called a few times to say hi and tell me that he loves me. It actually turned out to be a great weekend from start to finish. Wow. That hasn't happened in a long time. We're busy planning our trip to Vegas in June and starting to get excited. We love to gamble and go out while we're there so we've been mapping out some options for that. He needs a vacation desparately and actually so do I. It's been one helluva year in our family so it's a much deserved and needed trip. I'm looking so forward to time alone with my sweetie. He told me the other day that he needs a new "butt" and I cracked up! Pardon the pun!

I had bought him padded undies but they didn't have hips so I made him some. He's worn them to death and now they're all worn out so he needs a new butt and hips. I'm on the search. This time I'd like to buy the ones that have butt AND hip pads. Well, I'm off for now. Just wanted to chat and get some things going here. It's been rather quiet. Hugs to all,

CJ, thanks for the congrats on my anniversary. It was lovely!

Kay(SO)