Someone just noticed my shaved legs!!!!!

How are you dealing with or handling this aspect of your life?

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Allena
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Post by Allena »

Good for you Daniel!

I also do not like telling lies.
When I would shop for women's clothing and the sales clerk asked me if I was buying a gift for my wife or girlfriend I used to get scared.

I would stammer something about it being a gift but not finish my sentence.
I then went on to feel ashamed that I didn't stand up for myself and just say I was looking for myself.

Now when someone comes along and asks if I need help, I just tell them I'm doing alright and I thank them or I ask the questions I need to ask.

I think the important thing for you is to realize that your:belief in what you are doing, your belief in your rights and your self-worth should be given top priority.

Think about it...next time someone at home or at school asks you if you shave your legs, part of what they are looking for is your reaction to the question.
This way they can figure out whether it is something they can feel comfortable with or not.
People are always assessing situations to know how they should feel about them.

If your response next time is a smile, a look straight back to their face and a confident, "Sure, I shaved my legs!". Then they will get the sense that at least YOU are not uncomfortable with it.
This will then give them an option to follow-up the question with another or be quite about it, or create a scene.
You can be in charge of the situation by adding to your comment, as long as you are NOT apologizing for the shaved legs etc., waiting for their next comment/question or asking if there is anything else they want to ask, or turning away and continuing on with what you were doing before essentially telling that person that the issue is nothing special to you.

If that person were to persue a line of questioning heading towards crossdressing, you should cut them off before that point at which you will feel you either have to expose yourself or lie.
You can politely do this in a number of ways, by re-directing the conversation back to that person.
Ask them something about the way they are wearing their hair or the type of clothes they are wearing.
Perhaps remark about Lance Armstrong and the fact that all the serious bike riders shave-down.
Ask them if they've ever considered shaving their legs. You can add that his(her) girlfriend/her(his) boyfriend might find it a lot of fun helping them shave for the first time.

You can close the conversation by saying, "I understand now how much work girls go through just to please us guys! I don't know if I'll keep shaving much longer, but then some of us guys shave our faces everyday...right!? "

The option they choose will depend on how you follow through after the question and your relationship with that person.

I suggest you experiment with this in areas you might feel safe.
Like a shoe shop.
Go looking for shoes in a store where they still sit down with you and help you try them on.
I know the upper-scale shoes like Memphisto, Clark's, Birkenstocks etc. are usually sold in stores where you can ask for help in determining how wide your feet are and what European size would fit you.

Oh, I should mention that you should go in shorts. That way your shaved legs are exposed.

When the sales person (man or woman) are down at your feet (see, now you have the 'superior' position! :twisted: ), let them say something about your legs.
It's possible they won't.
If they do remark about your shaved legs, or ask if you are a bicycle rider or a swimmer...TELL THE TRUTH!
That is...tell them you wanted to see what shaved legs feel like and yes, you are currently shaving your legs.
Remember to be polite, confident, and smile!

Easing into this with complete strangers who you feel no threat from might make this whole experience a bit smoother and easier.

Eventually, or perhaps immediately, you can go to school and home with confidence that all you have to tell anyone is that you are interested in having shaved legs.

This is your right!
This is nothing that is harming anyone!
This is one more method of growing as a person!
I've taken to wearing certain types of skirts out in public in drab.
I wear one I made too.
I've only had one unpleasant experience and that was with a woman!

I just needed to really believe that I am only doing what I have the right to do, I am doing something that makes me feel good and although anyone can comment on what I do, they cannot make me stop or feel bad about it as long as I know there's nothing wrong with it!

I hope you'll eventually find ways to increase your comfort level with being who you feel you are.
We were/are all struggling with that here.

I believe the most important thing though is to just believe in how good you are. This is nothing that makes you a bad person or should give you reason to feel bad about yourself.
If shaved legs feel good to you, then walk wth confidence and really feel how good it is to be a free man!

I know it's not easy, but I'm in my 40's now and I've finally decided that I'm old enough and mature enough to know when I'm doing something wrong as opposed to just doing something ignorant people do not approve of.
I'm MUCH more of a free person now than I was when I was 20, or even 30, and it FEELS GREAT!
I hope you can feel this free while your still young!
Think of how much better your life will be!
Daniel
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Post by Daniel »

I think you guys have a great idea - that the more comfortable I myself feel with my own decision to shave my legs, the more of a non-event I can treat it as. The more legitimate benefits of leg shaving I can come up with besides crossdressing, the more comfortable I will be shaving them and the more "weapons" I will have at my disposal against nosy people. So let me count up my reasons:

1. I'm experimenting - I'm 20 years old and want to figure out how this would work!
2. It keeps me cool in the summer - especially since my parents are more stingy with the air conditioning than I would like.
3. I don't want to look like an ape!
4. Women have to shave their legs and it's hard work. I don't like women with hairy legs, so to me it's only fair that I should shave too.
5. Leg hair itches like crazy!

I'm not going to use the fact that cyclists and swimmers shave their legs because I do not cycle or swim competitively. I'll only use it if I need to let someone know it's not unheard of.
Loretta Ann
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Post by Loretta Ann »

Daniel,

Why is it you feel it is important to explain to others why you prefer to shave your legs?

In other words: Why do you give others the right to make you feel uncomfortable about being who you are?

If you need to give an answer? What is wrong with simply saying that you prefer it that way? Tell me what gives me or anyone else the right to state how you should live?

Other people do not have the right to make your decisions, so why would you want to give it to them? By explaining any further you are there-by endorsing their ill intent towards you. As anyone having your best interests at heart would not require an explanation.

Love Darlene.
Daniel
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Post by Daniel »

I don't think it's important that I volunteer all those reasons. But I do think it's important to explain if asked, because if I simply refused to explain, it would beg the question and people will suspect the crossdressing - or worse!! This is why I want all these reasons at hand. Yes, I can first try just saying I prefer it that way. Those other reasons are for people nosier than that, which there aren't very many of.
Kay(SO)
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Post by Kay(SO) »

Daniel,

My husband runs into that problem too. We have 11-year old twin girls who notice everything and for that reason, he refuses to wear shorts in the summer. Which really sucks because he then will not swim with us on vacation and is hot and grumpy. It drives me nuts that he can't just be more comfortable with himself and tell everyone to piss off. Of course I don't want him saying that to our kids but perhaps he could come up with an explanation of some sort instead of hiding his body all summer long.

He also gets bugged at work because his nails are unusually long for a man. Both of his adminstrative assistants have noticed at one time or another and made comments about it. He did have a good come back the other day. When she asked about his nails he stuck his finger in his ear like he was digging for gold and she shrieked, "eeeewwww!" He said that's what you get for asking. And then he waltzed off smiling to himself. ..OO..

Kay(SO)
Carolynn
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Post by Carolynn »

..rofl.. ..rofl.. Great Kay. I used almost the same technique a few months ago. Only I said the pinkies were for clearing out my ears and the rest for diggin' "boogers" out of my nose!!! Same "ewwwww" reaction, and they know I was not telling the whole truth, but no more questions. :P

Love, Carolynn
"It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,"
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Kay(SO)
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Post by Kay(SO) »

Now I'm the one ..rofl.. I'm surprised that my husband didn't think of that!! It would be just like him. I guess he just got tired of the questions. I doubt if either of them will bring up the topic again! That is hilarious! I'll have to give him that line just in case there is another time! ##oo##

Kay(SO)
Allena
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Post by Allena »

When they can't accept a 'decent' answer, get out the gross ones!
..rofl..

You two are a riot!

Daniel, I thing it's perfectly acceptable to have a few replys in the waiting.
But I agree also, that first and foremost, a person should do their best to ignore the continued invasion of their privacy.

Perhaps a better answer to the nosy people would be, "I guess I should be flattered that you hold such an interest in my body, but if you're looking for someone to help you with information on men shaving their legs, I really don't consider myself an authority. I'm still relatively new at this just like you! "

Be sure to give them a courteous smile, turn away and continue with what you were doing before they interrupted you.
:mrgreen:
Daniel
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Post by Daniel »

If the nosy person is a man, can I ask him if he likes looking at guys' legs? Would that embarrass him if he's straight? I can't think of any "gross" reasons for shaving my legs...
Beauty
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Post by Beauty »

rotf

I think that's a great comeback, but depending on the testosterone in the gent and his mood I'd hate to see a nice comeback go wrong. :)

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Jaye
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Post by Jaye »

On a related note, today I made an appointment for Monday afternoon to get my legs waxed. The rep at the salon didn't look at me like I'd grown another head, but she did ask me why I wanted them waxed. I was wearing shorts, so I said, "Would you go out in a skirt with your legs like this?" She said, "No", and I said, "Neither would I."

Since then, I've thougt about asking them to do the whole works. It wouldn't do to have smooth hairless legs with a hairy chest, would it?
The most common form of despair comes from not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard
Beauty
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Post by Beauty »

Hi Jaye,

What a wonderful answer! =D> Good for you! :)

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Karen Marie
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shaved legs

Post by Karen Marie »

daniel,
going through some self- conciousness is normal.it sounds like this
is one of the first times that you were in public showing your shaved
legs.pick your times.being around a bunch of guys is probably not
the best one.so many cds try to live in both worlds at the same time.
it's almost impossible to do.try wearing shorts to a mall or out bike riding.
hang around girls,instead of the guys.
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CJ
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Post by CJ »

Hi all,

Daniel,

I remember you posting on the other forum about your hesitation in shaving your legs. I'm glad you decided to just go ahead and do it. =D>

Personally, I don't think there's any solid reason to lie about the reasons for your doing so (although Curly brings up a good point; it is fashionable these days for men to go hairless... it's that whole godawful metrosexual thing, I guess :-k ). When people notice and ask about my hairlessness (one of my colleagues gave me a full body waxing about ten days ago), I simply answer: "I just prefer it that way." No need to explain further. People generally aren't so unsophisticated that they assume I'm gay or even a crossdresser. Those that do have a far greater problem than my hairlessness.

As my sisters here have said, just be who you are; don't feel pressured into justifying yourself; and keep that skin smooth (if you plan on working at staying shaved, you'll need to moisturize on a regular basis, trust me!).

By the way, I discovered that waxing produces a lot less ingrown hairs than shaving (heads up, Darlene! :P ). I don't know where you live, Daniel, but in any major city the chances are good that you'll find a whole slew of beauticians who have a lot of experience working with both men and women when it comes to ridding a person of unwanted body hair. A good waxing isn't that expensive.

Best of luck to you, Daniel, in your hairless adventures! 8)

Love,
CJ
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DonnaT
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Post by DonnaT »

CJ wrote:A good waxing isn't that expensive.
Yeah, but how painful is it? :mrgreen:
DonnaT
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