Great topic, girls!
Society… oh how we are all born & raised to eventually believe that acceptance into this makeshift “club” is the be-all end-all of personal existence. Yet only a select few realize that this is not the case.
The media is such a powerful force that it can shape how too many people decide to live their personal lives. Ever since birth, the media has drilled into our heads that we all need to have this job, drive that car, live in that house, be married by this age, have that many kids, the dog, and the white picket fence & all that rot, with no regard whatsoever to the individual. There has always been a huge cultural push towards the standard & the generic, in other words we are constantly told “this is the right way” and “that is the wrong way” even when there truly is no right way or wrong way.
Not everyone wants to grow up to be a doctor or lawyer. Not every woman loves roses. Not every young boy wants to be a football star. Not every young girl wants to be a ballerina. Not every adult wants marriage & children. Not every person out there wants to drive a Hummer and watch reality TV.
So why do we all swallow our personal preferences all for the sake of ‘putting on a show’ for those around us?
Millions of people bite their tongues and blindly embark on a lifestyle that deep down they do sense is all wrong for them, yet continue down that path of conformoity, simply because they are led to believe that it’s “the thing to do”. Too many of us choose to force ourselves into this absurd mold of how we are “supposed to live” instead of being honest with ourselves from the get go, or at the very least GETTING TO KNOW OURSELVES before making our life decisions.
It is no wonder that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. It is no wonder that millions of children in this country each year are either aborted prior to birth, or left in trash dumpsters as infants or simply abandoned outright as toddlers.
WE are the true leaders in this follow-the-herd world in which we live. Every time we put on lipstick or a pair of heels we are saying “Hey world! I am not going to buy into your BS ideals of life anymore! I want to be free! I want to be happy! I could care less about what others think!”
Since the dawn of time, true leaders have ALWAYS taken their own route. That is why they are called LEADERS. No true leader in this world has ever had to “wait for everyone’s acceptance & approval”. No true leader has ever had to conform to what millions of others buy into every single day.
Crossdresser In Wonderland
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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Loretta Ann
- Permanently Banned
- Posts: 2199
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 11:30 pm
- Location: Vancouver, Canada
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Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi Elizabeth--
I'm glad you were able to take the time to post this. It took some work to do so, I'm sure. It is a very insightful piece, and put me into some thought.
When I first started going out, I had no idea what kind of pressure I would get from the world around me. I don't mean family and friends necessarily; I mean the world I interact with when I go out to run errands; the post office, the grocery, the big department store.
What would they do? Not much, it turned out. Maybe I wasn't passing, but I was blending in well enough that no one seemed to really care. And it kept on being this way. Yet there was a strong fear inside of me.
I was so happy doing this, and few things have ever made me that happy. And in my life, whenever I got too happy or excited, someone would come in to take whatever it was away. Or they'd modify it just enough so it wouldn't work very well anymore. My family was not intentionally cruel. They just couldn't handle someone being too extreme in any way. I learned to hide anything that I really valued.
But I wasn't hiding Anita, and it took me a couple of months to realize that I wasn't a child anymore--no one outside of me could take her away. When I got through that, I hit the next fear. That one was the fear that I (myself) would take Anita away, if the pressure got too much. It took about three or four months to convince myself that I was not going to give up on going out as Anita.
The "pressure" from society never really happened, at least not in any form that made me want to give up. But I was so afraid that I WOULD give up, and all of this would be lost. I did not want to go back to the old way, and I could already sense what you said--that it would be impossible to do that anyway.
I continue to be amazed and inspired by what you're doing. I don't fault my transsexual sisters for making sure that they fit society in their new roles. They do an important role-model function, too. But what you're doing may become a model for many others like you. It takes more daily energy to live as you do, I would think, but you're getting the rewards of that output of energy.
It's not about "defying" anyone. It's more like walking over and taking the privilege that was there all the time, if you were aware of it. People may not like that you've done this, but they don't really have the power to stop you.
Make no mistake, though. In a dictatorship, the leader makes sure that people DO believe that society is a real thing, and that it thinks with one mind. There are immediate consequences for stepping outside of the box. Let us be grateful that it is not like that in our worlds, at present.
Anita
I'm glad you were able to take the time to post this. It took some work to do so, I'm sure. It is a very insightful piece, and put me into some thought.
When I first started going out, I had no idea what kind of pressure I would get from the world around me. I don't mean family and friends necessarily; I mean the world I interact with when I go out to run errands; the post office, the grocery, the big department store.
What would they do? Not much, it turned out. Maybe I wasn't passing, but I was blending in well enough that no one seemed to really care. And it kept on being this way. Yet there was a strong fear inside of me.
I was so happy doing this, and few things have ever made me that happy. And in my life, whenever I got too happy or excited, someone would come in to take whatever it was away. Or they'd modify it just enough so it wouldn't work very well anymore. My family was not intentionally cruel. They just couldn't handle someone being too extreme in any way. I learned to hide anything that I really valued.
But I wasn't hiding Anita, and it took me a couple of months to realize that I wasn't a child anymore--no one outside of me could take her away. When I got through that, I hit the next fear. That one was the fear that I (myself) would take Anita away, if the pressure got too much. It took about three or four months to convince myself that I was not going to give up on going out as Anita.
The "pressure" from society never really happened, at least not in any form that made me want to give up. But I was so afraid that I WOULD give up, and all of this would be lost. I did not want to go back to the old way, and I could already sense what you said--that it would be impossible to do that anyway.
I continue to be amazed and inspired by what you're doing. I don't fault my transsexual sisters for making sure that they fit society in their new roles. They do an important role-model function, too. But what you're doing may become a model for many others like you. It takes more daily energy to live as you do, I would think, but you're getting the rewards of that output of energy.
It's not about "defying" anyone. It's more like walking over and taking the privilege that was there all the time, if you were aware of it. People may not like that you've done this, but they don't really have the power to stop you.
Make no mistake, though. In a dictatorship, the leader makes sure that people DO believe that society is a real thing, and that it thinks with one mind. There are immediate consequences for stepping outside of the box. Let us be grateful that it is not like that in our worlds, at present.
Anita
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Danette
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 285
- Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2005 10:30 am
- Location: Sandusky, Michigan
- Contact:
I was just sitting in front of a looking glass. And I was'nt sure, What I was looking at, a man I wanted to be or a woman I wanted to be.But I just spend a day with some friends and they do'nt know, What I am either. To them I am a Man, but in the Mirror I'm a woman. They wish there was a place called Wonderland,too. Not being sure what,They want to be either. Living a live upon a reflection is not a life,But what a person might perceive it to be. Not being a very educated person, I look around and, See all God's creature's living in some form of a society. No matter what side of the glass,You care to live on, there is some form of society. It's up to you and me to decide what type We live in. Hopefully in ower little corner, We live in,We can make a differance. Living on one side of a Mirror is no solution.
Thank you for letting Me say My peace. And We all can make a differance.
Love,
Danette
Thank you for letting Me say My peace. And We all can make a differance.
Love,
Danette
what's meant to be will always find a way.
