Long post but I badly need some advice!!!

Sheena · Post by **Sheena** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 7:23 am

I am quite proud of myself of recent!! I'm 33 and I am quite confortable with myself as a CD. 2 years ago, I was full of giult, fear and did'nt know where I was heading too, I was even contemplating suicide at one point. It took joining a CD social group in Melbourne, having a fling with another CD and a good lengthy chat with mum to turn me around. I dont want to get boring, but of recent I have been in full control and very confident in my dress shopping. I mentioned on another post last week that I purchased a dress last week without any nerves or being red faced. I was very confident on the day and did'nt care if I was being looked at or not. Now that I've seemed to gain that, I want to go the next step. But I need a little advice on this one?
1. I am going to see a lady in Queensland (Australia) in 2 weeks. I met her on the net and she runs a private CD meeting group. I dont know this lady well, but she has invited me to stay with her for 4 days, I have accepted. She even told me I can wear what I want and be as comfortable as I want while I'm there. I am taking up some of my fave dresses and gowns. She has a daughter too whos 18. The truth is, I'm a little worried about staying at her place. Shes very freindly on the phone and via e-mail, she calls me darling and honey which I love, but its a big step going all this way, to meet someone and suddenly stop there for 4 days. I maybe paranoid, I'm not sure, should I consider back up accomadation just incase things dont go so well. I cant wait to meet this girl but I just have this gut feeling inside of me.
2. I also need advice on shopping for wigs ands make up, I've never shopped for these items before and I need to know whether or not, I should do it by myself or with mum. I have never tried it, but it seems its harder browsing through make up than dresses.
I need advice on these 2 subjects. I realise its a long post, but please, someone help.

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 8:30 am

Hi Sheena,

Look at you!

Wow! Taking big steps are we?

That's so nice.

I'm proud of you too.

I hope you make sure people know where you're going and please check in with your mom to let her know it's safe.

I'm so glad you decided not to harm yourself and stay with us. I'm also happy you wrote about it on the forum too. You may have saved someone's life who'll never post to thank you. For all we know they could read how you survived and maybe you'll inspire them to not take their own life.

I can understand being worried about going to someone's place that you don't know. I think it would be a much better idea to secure lodging at another place and just insist that you didn't want to impose on her. Then you can visit as long as you like and know you have somewhere else to go if things don't go as expected.

I'd shop with my mom if I had the option. She's going to help you pick out things better than you will for you. The first things I picked out were such a mess. My wife eventually helped me to dress better or see myself better than I was originally doing.

Good luck. I can't wait to hear how it went!

Beauty

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 10:03 am

But I just have this gut feeling inside of me.

Hi Sheena,

Pay close attention that voice inside of you and follow it. You will not be sorry.

Darlene.

Merinda · Post by **Merinda** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 3:05 pm

I agree with the girls ,

If you have a gut feeling things may not be what they seem , approach the situation with caution and have an alternative plan should things not work out.

Sally · Post by **Sally** » Sun Jul 10, 2005 7:33 pm

Hi Sheena,

I suppose you're aware that it can be risky meeting people from off this medium and caution always needs to be taken. Sometimes it's best to meet first in a public place with plenty of people around so you can size up the person and situation. It seems such a long way to go to meet someone under these conditions so just be very careful as we're very vulnerable people, and although it all may be quite innocent and good for you, there are always people on the lookout to exploit us if we let our guard down. History is full of sad stories of people taking advantage of us. Personal safety is paramount.

I just wonder when you say you don't know this lady well, but she's inviting a stranger into her home saying she has an 18 year old daughter. Makes one ponder.

I wish you well with it all and hope we hear of a successful outcome with it all for you.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

P.S. Ballarat hey.....I grew up in Daylesford, a stones throw from you, and knowing the winters around that area I can well envisage why it'd be nice to escape up to sunny Queensland for a while.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Jul 11, 2005 6:33 am

Although sometimes my gut feelings are comletely wrong, I think in this case it is just common sense to find out more before you decide to stay there. There could be many reasons that you might find that you don't wish to be staying there and I like the idea of a hotel "so you won't impose" Personally I also agree with the comment that what is up with this woman inviting a total stranger to stay with her and her daughter-I certianly would never do that.

Let us know what happens

Andrea

Sheena · Post by **Sheena** » Mon Jul 11, 2005 9:55 am

I hear you Andrea, and the others too. I've mucked up. The only thing is, everythings set. I'll go up there, as vulnerable as I am, stay a night, if it does'nt go to well, I will book into a hotel. This lady though does sound nice!!!! She holds a social night for CDs at her house, I beleive (well thats what shes told me). I hope to hell I'm ok up there. I've gotta admit, I'm a little scared on this one. I dont think she'd try and take advantage of me, I certainly hope not, but if I smell something funny, I'll bolt. Its as simple as that.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Tue Jul 12, 2005 3:19 pm

Tell her you've had second thought sabout staying because you know that you can be difficult at times (not saying you are but it is a great excuse)and that you have booked a hotel. You can always change your mind if you want. If she can't deal with this that is your first warning sign

Andrea

Dar · Post by **Dar** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 11:27 am

Hi Sheena,

As with the others I'll second there posts. Caution is the word. It's great that your mom knows and is accepting of it. Give her all the info of where you are going, address, phone number and all. Set up a couple of times to call back to mom to check in. Just say you need to see how mom is doing and you are checking on her. Will there be anybody else there the first night? You mentioned it was a meeting place. Is there anybody else staying also? Good luck and be safe. Let us know how it went.