Over the course of the last yr since I really started to dress and the last couple of months since I have been able to dress in front of my wife I have found that I really don't need to be wearing a dress in order to feel more fem. I don't believe that clothes make the woman I think that clothes make the woman look better.
Thus if I want to present as a woman I will wear a dress or skirt but as with most people I tend to wear what feels most comfortable most of the time. Which for me means wearing womens shorts or jeans and a top that matches. Is the top girls or guys? That depends on what I have the matches or that is functional.
For me wearing womens clothes instead of mens just feel natural. Take for instance the fact that I only wear panties, I have not had a pair of mens underwear on in over two yrs. Why? They are more comfortable and for sure prettier than mens, and ithey make me feel like I am wearing what I am suppose to be wearing. Same with any other piece of clothes that I wear.
But then I don't see yself as a cd but instead just a tg. I don't really think I fit into the typicl cd description that well. The biggest thing for me is that I express who I am, and not just who the world wants me to be.
I get strange looks at work from time to time because I color my long hair and I shave my legs. I was asked about the fact that I shave once at work. My response was to look at the guy who asked with a "are you a total freak or looser" type of look and say Yes I do and have for a long time, Why?. With that the guy dropped the subject and moved on.
In all yes I do appear more fem then masculine but that is how I am comfortable and my wife doesn't have a problem with it as long as I don't have razor stubble on my legs and I don't wear anything out of the house that is too fem because of the town that we live in and the fact that the kids don't know about me yet.
In all what I get from dressing is to feel more natural. Not necessarily fem just natural and I do enjoy it. The feeling of being right instead of trying to hide behind what society thinks I should be.
anna
What's the feminine side all about?
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
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AnnaMaria
- Miss Crystal Goddess
- Posts: 15
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How Do I feel when dressed?
Live Well. Die Free.
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Jan W
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 184
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Over simplification by Jan.
Picture Marilyn Monroe holding down her skirt while standing on the grate. Now picture KD Lang (no offense intended) singing at the microphone.
This to me sums up my picture of a very feminine person and an un feminine person.
Hence femininity is in the eye of the beholder.
Picture Marilyn Monroe holding down her skirt while standing on the grate. Now picture KD Lang (no offense intended) singing at the microphone.
This to me sums up my picture of a very feminine person and an un feminine person.
Hence femininity is in the eye of the beholder.
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CJ
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3562
- Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 11:12 pm
- Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Hi all,
Hmmm...
Interesting thread.
Last night, my colleague said to me: "I'll accept that you know what being feminine means once you've managed to explain to me what it means to be masculine." I was a little bit stumped. The fact is, not being sure what it means to be (or, rather, to feel) masculine, I had to admit that I didn't really have a clue what it meant to feel feminine. "That's alright," she said, "it's sort of meaningless to me, too."
Now, I think I understand what Darlene means when she says that the clothing makes her body feel softer, more pliable, more relaxed--something her body (she says) is definitely not, when in its natural (naked) state. Hence, the clothing is, in a certain sense, a way for her to get in touch with some semblance of femininity, a femininity that is both a mirror and a possible echo of something she feels is there in her own soul--despite the masculinity of her body.
Although I know (and by all means accept) that many feel this is the case for themselves as well, I still have trouble with this. For starters (and as has been said above), there's an assumption here that an inert item (presumably, an article of clothing or an accessory) can be feminine (or masculine, for that matter). I don't think so. I do think it's this "fetishization" of objects (something that men tend to do much more than women) that makes GG's frown. In its strictest sense, a "fetish" object is a stand-in, a symbol, a representation, of the "object" of our erotic attraction (notice, I said "erotic," not "sexual"). Usually (for a heterosexual male), the "object" of erotic attraction is a (presumably, heterosexual) female. But, in our case (that is, male heterosexual crossdressers), the "object" of our erotic attraction is, in a way, "twinned" or "doubled": we sexually desire women, true, but we simultaneously erotically desire femininity itself. In a sense, we've "fetishized" femininity. By investing certain articles of clothing (say, skirts, but not pants; frilly blouses, but not t-shirts; high heels, but not sneakers) with the symbolic power of femininity, we've somehow "split" our erotic impulses into two distinct streams; one heads to the women in our lives--the ones we know and love--and the other heads to those (inert) objects that serve to enhance and highlight the very femaleness of women in general.
There's a danger in this. And it's one we're not always aware of. As a "stand-in," as a representation of something else, something rather more abstract, a fetish (such as "femininity fetishized," for example) is, by its very nature, an "ultimate icon," a portrayal of extremes. As such, it also leads to stereotypes. And stereotypes are never about real, flesh-and-blood people; stereotypes are about the ideas we have in our heads regarding people.
Two reactions we often get from GG's: "For Pete's sake! What's the attraction? It's only clothes, for cryin' out loud!" and "Why the need to appear so trampy and sluttish, so extreme?" Well, it's only clothes if you haven't subconsciously invested it with the power to represent (fetishized) femininity itself ...as is the case with many a crossdresser. And, I suspect, the need to appear über-feminine (that is, exaggeratedly female with lots of alluring clothes, padding, makeup, and accessories) may just be a strategy on our part to distance ourselves, "in the flesh," as much as possible from our native maleness. From a stereotypical masculinity, we "err" on the side of a stereotypical femininity.
I had the pleasure of chatting with a fine member of this forum last week. In the course of our conversation, this very subject came up. She (a GG) still has difficulty figuring out why we feel compelled to "present" so dramatically (if the photos on the gallery are any indication, mine included). She said (paraphrasing, here): "You don't see women feeling they have to dress in a super-masculine way in order to get in touch with whatever they think are their more masculine psychological and emotional attributes." Well, I pulled a picture of Marlene Dietrich off the internet and showed her. From Amelia Bloomer on, as women started to move into more traditionally "masculine" areas of society, they did, in fact, adopt male dress when it suited their needs. And many women were comfortable--psychologically and emotionally comfortable--doing so. The fact that women no longer feel the need to do so as much is merely a testament to their having "come a long way, Baby!" My belief is that there will come a time when men won't need to do so (crossdress) as much either. Probably not in my lifetime, but some day.
As for what it means to me to "feel feminine" (keeping in mind Darlene's slant on the subject), I have to concur with other voices here and say, with Donna, "I don't know." I really don't know, any more than I know what it's like to "feel masculine" (or to feel "Anita-like" or "Elizabeth-like," for that matter). I only know what it feels like to be me. And, all told, it's a pretty good feeling. (Of course, it could just be that slinky skirt I'm wearing that makes me say that.
)
Love,
CJ
Hmmm...
Interesting thread.Last night, my colleague said to me: "I'll accept that you know what being feminine means once you've managed to explain to me what it means to be masculine." I was a little bit stumped. The fact is, not being sure what it means to be (or, rather, to feel) masculine, I had to admit that I didn't really have a clue what it meant to feel feminine. "That's alright," she said, "it's sort of meaningless to me, too."
Now, I think I understand what Darlene means when she says that the clothing makes her body feel softer, more pliable, more relaxed--something her body (she says) is definitely not, when in its natural (naked) state. Hence, the clothing is, in a certain sense, a way for her to get in touch with some semblance of femininity, a femininity that is both a mirror and a possible echo of something she feels is there in her own soul--despite the masculinity of her body.
Although I know (and by all means accept) that many feel this is the case for themselves as well, I still have trouble with this. For starters (and as has been said above), there's an assumption here that an inert item (presumably, an article of clothing or an accessory) can be feminine (or masculine, for that matter). I don't think so. I do think it's this "fetishization" of objects (something that men tend to do much more than women) that makes GG's frown. In its strictest sense, a "fetish" object is a stand-in, a symbol, a representation, of the "object" of our erotic attraction (notice, I said "erotic," not "sexual"). Usually (for a heterosexual male), the "object" of erotic attraction is a (presumably, heterosexual) female. But, in our case (that is, male heterosexual crossdressers), the "object" of our erotic attraction is, in a way, "twinned" or "doubled": we sexually desire women, true, but we simultaneously erotically desire femininity itself. In a sense, we've "fetishized" femininity. By investing certain articles of clothing (say, skirts, but not pants; frilly blouses, but not t-shirts; high heels, but not sneakers) with the symbolic power of femininity, we've somehow "split" our erotic impulses into two distinct streams; one heads to the women in our lives--the ones we know and love--and the other heads to those (inert) objects that serve to enhance and highlight the very femaleness of women in general.
There's a danger in this. And it's one we're not always aware of. As a "stand-in," as a representation of something else, something rather more abstract, a fetish (such as "femininity fetishized," for example) is, by its very nature, an "ultimate icon," a portrayal of extremes. As such, it also leads to stereotypes. And stereotypes are never about real, flesh-and-blood people; stereotypes are about the ideas we have in our heads regarding people.
Two reactions we often get from GG's: "For Pete's sake! What's the attraction? It's only clothes, for cryin' out loud!" and "Why the need to appear so trampy and sluttish, so extreme?" Well, it's only clothes if you haven't subconsciously invested it with the power to represent (fetishized) femininity itself ...as is the case with many a crossdresser. And, I suspect, the need to appear über-feminine (that is, exaggeratedly female with lots of alluring clothes, padding, makeup, and accessories) may just be a strategy on our part to distance ourselves, "in the flesh," as much as possible from our native maleness. From a stereotypical masculinity, we "err" on the side of a stereotypical femininity.
I had the pleasure of chatting with a fine member of this forum last week. In the course of our conversation, this very subject came up. She (a GG) still has difficulty figuring out why we feel compelled to "present" so dramatically (if the photos on the gallery are any indication, mine included). She said (paraphrasing, here): "You don't see women feeling they have to dress in a super-masculine way in order to get in touch with whatever they think are their more masculine psychological and emotional attributes." Well, I pulled a picture of Marlene Dietrich off the internet and showed her. From Amelia Bloomer on, as women started to move into more traditionally "masculine" areas of society, they did, in fact, adopt male dress when it suited their needs. And many women were comfortable--psychologically and emotionally comfortable--doing so. The fact that women no longer feel the need to do so as much is merely a testament to their having "come a long way, Baby!" My belief is that there will come a time when men won't need to do so (crossdress) as much either. Probably not in my lifetime, but some day.
As for what it means to me to "feel feminine" (keeping in mind Darlene's slant on the subject), I have to concur with other voices here and say, with Donna, "I don't know." I really don't know, any more than I know what it's like to "feel masculine" (or to feel "Anita-like" or "Elizabeth-like," for that matter). I only know what it feels like to be me. And, all told, it's a pretty good feeling. (Of course, it could just be that slinky skirt I'm wearing that makes me say that.
)Love,
CJ
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi girls,
What an interesting thread. I have been reading it since the day Darlene Posted it, but was not sure what I would write, until now. I have been rebuilding my relationship with my older sister, with whom I used to be quite close, and this very question came up a few days ago also. I gave her the URL for our forum.
She commented to me that she almost never wears dresses, and hardly ever wears makeup, and even commented on how she hates shaving her legs, and only does it when it's required. She asked me, "what is feminine?".She wanted to know how I could know what it means to "feel feminine", and hence how dressing in women's clothes could possibly make me "feel feminine".
I replied that I don't know what it means to feel feminine, but that by dressing in clothing exclusively for women, and wearing makeup that is essentially exclusively for women, I could tell the world, and myself, that I am not male!!!!, at least not emotionally.
I have been exposed to the "alpha male" my whole life. And despite stereotypes, many men do fall into this catagory if for no other reason than to be identified by society as "male". They love not only to hunt, but have a need to kill things. They feel compelled to make everything a competion, and to prove themselves the most dominate male. They chase after dangerous endeavors in an attempt to feel the exhileration of cheating death, and hence prove themselves a great protector by virtue of not being afraid.
I had all these thoughts racing through my mind, wondering how I was going to answer this post and it dawned on me. What are the international symbols for restrooms?
Look at the symbol for the men's restroom...... How did you know it was the men's? I mean, I see a lot of women who look like that. Now look at the women's restroom symbol..... It is defined by a dress or skirt. It is presumed that among humans our sexuality, indeed our gender can be defined by a dress or a skirt. And it is so universal, it is the international symbol.
Now I like to look at this from an anthropological point of view and ask. "What would aliens make of these symbols?" Would they know that the symbol of person in the dress meant female? If they looked around, I am certain they would not come to this conclusion. I think they would determine that people in dresses had some special status that required them to have thier own restroom. Because in our populations, you just don't see that many women in dresses.
For me it boils down to this. I don't fit in the male role that was assigned to me by society. It has made my life miserable trying to fit into it. I don't like contact sports for myself. I am not very coordinated, and the fact that even if I expend all this energy and win, I get nothing for it. Not to mention I am seriously afraid of being injured which makes me not a very effective player. I don't like killing animals, even for food. I don't like going fast in or on anything. It terrifies me. Last time I went bass fishing was with a person who had a bass boat with a 327 chevrolet in it. I was so scared going across the lake at 55 mph, it ruined the whole trip for me. All I could think about was having to do it again on the return trip back. I never went again, even though I was invited many times.
I know I am more than just a crossdresser, so how I feel is probably different than many of you. I feel like I was meant to be a girl. Other than when I am with my wife, I don't feel the masculine side of myself. And like the sign on the restroom door, I wear a dress not to say I am a woman, but to say I am not a man. And doing that, makes me able to live in my own skin comfortably, without the expectation that I must respond in some male stereotypical way.
Love always,
Elizabeth
What an interesting thread. I have been reading it since the day Darlene Posted it, but was not sure what I would write, until now. I have been rebuilding my relationship with my older sister, with whom I used to be quite close, and this very question came up a few days ago also. I gave her the URL for our forum.
She commented to me that she almost never wears dresses, and hardly ever wears makeup, and even commented on how she hates shaving her legs, and only does it when it's required. She asked me, "what is feminine?".She wanted to know how I could know what it means to "feel feminine", and hence how dressing in women's clothes could possibly make me "feel feminine".
I replied that I don't know what it means to feel feminine, but that by dressing in clothing exclusively for women, and wearing makeup that is essentially exclusively for women, I could tell the world, and myself, that I am not male!!!!, at least not emotionally.
I have been exposed to the "alpha male" my whole life. And despite stereotypes, many men do fall into this catagory if for no other reason than to be identified by society as "male". They love not only to hunt, but have a need to kill things. They feel compelled to make everything a competion, and to prove themselves the most dominate male. They chase after dangerous endeavors in an attempt to feel the exhileration of cheating death, and hence prove themselves a great protector by virtue of not being afraid.
I had all these thoughts racing through my mind, wondering how I was going to answer this post and it dawned on me. What are the international symbols for restrooms?
Look at the symbol for the men's restroom...... How did you know it was the men's? I mean, I see a lot of women who look like that. Now look at the women's restroom symbol..... It is defined by a dress or skirt. It is presumed that among humans our sexuality, indeed our gender can be defined by a dress or a skirt. And it is so universal, it is the international symbol.
Now I like to look at this from an anthropological point of view and ask. "What would aliens make of these symbols?" Would they know that the symbol of person in the dress meant female? If they looked around, I am certain they would not come to this conclusion. I think they would determine that people in dresses had some special status that required them to have thier own restroom. Because in our populations, you just don't see that many women in dresses.
For me it boils down to this. I don't fit in the male role that was assigned to me by society. It has made my life miserable trying to fit into it. I don't like contact sports for myself. I am not very coordinated, and the fact that even if I expend all this energy and win, I get nothing for it. Not to mention I am seriously afraid of being injured which makes me not a very effective player. I don't like killing animals, even for food. I don't like going fast in or on anything. It terrifies me. Last time I went bass fishing was with a person who had a bass boat with a 327 chevrolet in it. I was so scared going across the lake at 55 mph, it ruined the whole trip for me. All I could think about was having to do it again on the return trip back. I never went again, even though I was invited many times.
I know I am more than just a crossdresser, so how I feel is probably different than many of you. I feel like I was meant to be a girl. Other than when I am with my wife, I don't feel the masculine side of myself. And like the sign on the restroom door, I wear a dress not to say I am a woman, but to say I am not a man. And doing that, makes me able to live in my own skin comfortably, without the expectation that I must respond in some male stereotypical way.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
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- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hi CJ,
Wow great post ma'am.
I think you're right CJ about femininity. It's a feeling. I don't think I can describe a feeling as complex as femininity that won't be misinterpreted. I did ask my wife if she felt that when she gets dressed up to go out with me to a fancy event and she looks pretty if she feels feminine. She said yes. I asked her if when she cries at a movie if she feels feminine, she said no. I asked her if when she's taking care of kids does she feel feminine and she said no. I felt good after she answered every question because I agreed with each answer. That's just two people who feel the same, but to me it showed I was inline with her feelings on femininity. It made me feel good.
I feel she's looks feminine when she sleeps and when she walks. Again that's my interpretation of it, but it still goes back to a feeling.
One thing you said was you were asked by a gal why men over dress. I have three reasons I think this happens. I equate this to the amount of time dressing or someone's interest in dressing. Some, like CJ already suggested, are transvestites and really enjoy the sexual or fetish thrill of looking like a woman or the sensual feeling of the clothing. I'm using the word transvestite to associate sexuality, but transvestites still means crossdresser. There's just been a small ground swell of support for associating sexual dressing with the term transvestite. So I think some men dress in frilly clothes, tight clothing, and high heels because sexually this makes them feel more in touch with their femme side.
I think there are others who overdress because just like teenage GG's they are just starting out and exploring their desire to be more feminine, like mom or women they admire and they need years to get acclimated with what it truly means to emulate women. Look at Raquel Welch when she was young and what she wore and compare it to what she wears now. She went from dressing in a sexual manner to present herself to a far more sophisticated and confident style of dressing, but it took her years to evolve. I think men who have less time to dress or who found out later in life they want to crossdress should be afforded the same kind of time and patience women gave Raquel to find out who she was.
The third type of CD'rs who overly dress are those who feel that they need to overdress to even come close to portraying or looking like a woman in the mirror, a place where most CD'rs spend their time. Some put on mounds of makeup, some wear forms that are way huge and some wear clothing that is ultra femme. Regarding the clothing though, what I mean is that there is clothing out there that you'd see and think of a woman in it. A cute short tight dress, a frilly outfit for example makes me think/envision a woman even if she's not in it. Makeup makes me think of a woman for the most part. High heels make me think of a woman and so do forms. I'm just trying to say that when a whole bunch of the items are combined a man who has an extremely rigid jawline, a man who has deep set eyes, a man who has broad shoulders, etc. This person can look in the mirror and see all of the items on his body combined and get a peek at a woman of his own creation despite all of his very masculine features being there. He has softened his manly features to allow the clothing and the effects to over power his physical features.
I imagine those who overly dress because they are trying to overpower their very masculine features feel great when they feel wind blowing the hair around or look down and see a feminine image. However when they look in the mirror they see themselves (a man) in a wig, and dress or short skirt, and high heels. Overly dressing for them can mean something totally different than the other two types of dressers I described though they still may derive a sexual gratification from dressing that way.
I identify with those who evolved, but I'm going to respond to Elizabeth's thread so I think that'll show there. No need to be more redundant than I normally am.
This thread may have become something other than Darlene wanted it to be, but I really like it.
Beauty
Wow great post ma'am.
I think you're right CJ about femininity. It's a feeling. I don't think I can describe a feeling as complex as femininity that won't be misinterpreted. I did ask my wife if she felt that when she gets dressed up to go out with me to a fancy event and she looks pretty if she feels feminine. She said yes. I asked her if when she cries at a movie if she feels feminine, she said no. I asked her if when she's taking care of kids does she feel feminine and she said no. I felt good after she answered every question because I agreed with each answer. That's just two people who feel the same, but to me it showed I was inline with her feelings on femininity. It made me feel good.
I feel she's looks feminine when she sleeps and when she walks. Again that's my interpretation of it, but it still goes back to a feeling.
One thing you said was you were asked by a gal why men over dress. I have three reasons I think this happens. I equate this to the amount of time dressing or someone's interest in dressing. Some, like CJ already suggested, are transvestites and really enjoy the sexual or fetish thrill of looking like a woman or the sensual feeling of the clothing. I'm using the word transvestite to associate sexuality, but transvestites still means crossdresser. There's just been a small ground swell of support for associating sexual dressing with the term transvestite. So I think some men dress in frilly clothes, tight clothing, and high heels because sexually this makes them feel more in touch with their femme side.
I think there are others who overdress because just like teenage GG's they are just starting out and exploring their desire to be more feminine, like mom or women they admire and they need years to get acclimated with what it truly means to emulate women. Look at Raquel Welch when she was young and what she wore and compare it to what she wears now. She went from dressing in a sexual manner to present herself to a far more sophisticated and confident style of dressing, but it took her years to evolve. I think men who have less time to dress or who found out later in life they want to crossdress should be afforded the same kind of time and patience women gave Raquel to find out who she was.
The third type of CD'rs who overly dress are those who feel that they need to overdress to even come close to portraying or looking like a woman in the mirror, a place where most CD'rs spend their time. Some put on mounds of makeup, some wear forms that are way huge and some wear clothing that is ultra femme. Regarding the clothing though, what I mean is that there is clothing out there that you'd see and think of a woman in it. A cute short tight dress, a frilly outfit for example makes me think/envision a woman even if she's not in it. Makeup makes me think of a woman for the most part. High heels make me think of a woman and so do forms. I'm just trying to say that when a whole bunch of the items are combined a man who has an extremely rigid jawline, a man who has deep set eyes, a man who has broad shoulders, etc. This person can look in the mirror and see all of the items on his body combined and get a peek at a woman of his own creation despite all of his very masculine features being there. He has softened his manly features to allow the clothing and the effects to over power his physical features.
I imagine those who overly dress because they are trying to overpower their very masculine features feel great when they feel wind blowing the hair around or look down and see a feminine image. However when they look in the mirror they see themselves (a man) in a wig, and dress or short skirt, and high heels. Overly dressing for them can mean something totally different than the other two types of dressers I described though they still may derive a sexual gratification from dressing that way.
I identify with those who evolved, but I'm going to respond to Elizabeth's thread so I think that'll show there. No need to be more redundant than I normally am.
This thread may have become something other than Darlene wanted it to be, but I really like it.
Beauty
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
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Hi Elizabeth,
That really was a great post!
You and I are kind of in the same boat, but you have more courage than I do by a very long shot. Not a guy is my motto too, but I have a variance, which is cool we're all unique and that's what makes the world go round.
I do enjoy football, but that's about it. No other sports do it for me. There are a lot of gals who like football too you can look in the stands of any game and see that quite easily, but for the most part it's all about the men. I don't mind it though. It's one of the last masculine things I do, so I rejoice in it.
I agree with you completely about men needing to compete. I've met women who do too, but like sports for the most part at this time in history perceptions are, it's mostly a "man" thing. I get queasy about killing things too. Since I was young I'd never touch anything that move in my hands unless it was a kitten or a puppy. They don't like to be held, but if you rub their cute little tummy's they calm down for a bit. I can't say that happens with a fish. I don't think this makes me a girl, but I do know it makes me less guy'ish.
I'm not a typical male. I don't wanna be and I have taken some rather drastic steps to insure I won't ever be one. However, just by me presenting myself in a room of women, when they first see me I'm a typical guy if I get even remotely close to a subject, like sports and watching football. If they dig deeper, which the majority of people aren't going to do because their busy enough, they'll discover I'm far from a typical male though. The fact that women assume I am a typical male used to bother me a lot and I'd go out of my way to state, "No I'm different." I'd never win those convos and would walk away being "the typical male who thinks he's different, like the typical male would." Now I like being considered a typical male by those who don't know me. It's kind of fun and funny.
I'm not just a CD'r though I do wear femme clothing when I want to present a femme image. I figure if I wear manly clothes when I want to present a femme image I'm going to look like a guy who's made up to look like a female. Plus since I'm used to acting male in male clothing I believe my mannerisms would be to manly to reflect the womanly image I want to present.
Elizabeth I'm so happy you are starting to bond again with your sister. That's one of the big bonuses about family. It doesn't happen all the time, but I think it happens more with family than it does with friends. Family tends to keep trying to work things out, friends tend to cut you off when the friendship is too hard for them to maintain and they never come back. I love that you and your sister are starting to get back to where you left off. I'm glad she has these questions. It's another healthy sign. No questions for us TG'd folks stinks! It means trouble, usually.
I can't say I'm more than a crossdresser, mainly because someone will think I'm saying I'm better and I don't think that's what you meant nor do I mean it even though I agree with you. I'm just not only a CD'r. I love that! I love understanding why I am me. I'm wired in the middle and closer to the female side of the world, but because I have the genetic composition of a male I won't ever be thought of, by women, as one of them. I'm way cool with that though. I don't want to be a woman in this life. I'm a genetic male, but my soul and my mind say, "Not so much."
I don't mind if men are attracted to me, the same way some women who only like women don't mind it, but I'm only attracted to women. I like that by being a guy I can always flirt with women easily whereas if I were a woman it would be much harder to do that. I'm a natural born flirt. It comes out in my femme pictures, but men pick up on it when it's meant for women and for the most part women saying, "Is that a guy? Ewwwwww!" lol!!!
I love who I am. If people get to know me, they see a different side of me than I am in virtual life. I'm real, full of holes, quite human, quite a guy, quite a guy who gets told, "You're like my wife" by my male friends, and a person who loves all of his friends and family and do my best to support them no matter what.
That's one of the many things I admire about you Elizabeth. You're you and you express it to the world. You're so loving, personable, and human. What else can you ask for in a friend or someone you care about? Ok, ok so you can ask for more, but those are the most important things to me.
Thanks for your post. You stirred up quite a bit of thought. I think I got most of it out here.
Beauty
That really was a great post!
You and I are kind of in the same boat, but you have more courage than I do by a very long shot. Not a guy is my motto too, but I have a variance, which is cool we're all unique and that's what makes the world go round.
I do enjoy football, but that's about it. No other sports do it for me. There are a lot of gals who like football too you can look in the stands of any game and see that quite easily, but for the most part it's all about the men. I don't mind it though. It's one of the last masculine things I do, so I rejoice in it.
I agree with you completely about men needing to compete. I've met women who do too, but like sports for the most part at this time in history perceptions are, it's mostly a "man" thing. I get queasy about killing things too. Since I was young I'd never touch anything that move in my hands unless it was a kitten or a puppy.
They don't like to be held, but if you rub their cute little tummy's they calm down for a bit. I can't say that happens with a fish. I don't think this makes me a girl, but I do know it makes me less guy'ish.I'm not a typical male. I don't wanna be and I have taken some rather drastic steps to insure I won't ever be one.
However, just by me presenting myself in a room of women, when they first see me I'm a typical guy if I get even remotely close to a subject, like sports and watching football. If they dig deeper, which the majority of people aren't going to do because their busy enough, they'll discover I'm far from a typical male though. The fact that women assume I am a typical male used to bother me a lot and I'd go out of my way to state, "No I'm different." I'd never win those convos and would walk away being "the typical male who thinks he's different, like the typical male would." Now I like being considered a typical male by those who don't know me. It's kind of fun and funny.I'm not just a CD'r though I do wear femme clothing when I want to present a femme image. I figure if I wear manly clothes when I want to present a femme image I'm going to look like a guy who's made up to look like a female. Plus since I'm used to acting male in male clothing I believe my mannerisms would be to manly to reflect the womanly image I want to present.
Elizabeth I'm so happy you are starting to bond again with your sister. That's one of the big bonuses about family. It doesn't happen all the time, but I think it happens more with family than it does with friends. Family tends to keep trying to work things out, friends tend to cut you off when the friendship is too hard for them to maintain and they never come back. I love that you and your sister are starting to get back to where you left off. I'm glad she has these questions. It's another healthy sign. No questions for us TG'd folks stinks! It means trouble, usually.
I can't say I'm more than a crossdresser, mainly because someone will think I'm saying I'm better and I don't think that's what you meant nor do I mean it even though I agree with you. I'm just not only a CD'r. I love that!
I love understanding why I am me. I'm wired in the middle and closer to the female side of the world, but because I have the genetic composition of a male I won't ever be thought of, by women, as one of them. I'm way cool with that though. I don't want to be a woman in this life. I'm a genetic male, but my soul and my mind say, "Not so much." I don't mind if men are attracted to me, the same way some women who only like women don't mind it, but I'm only attracted to women. I like that by being a guy I can always flirt with women easily whereas if I were a woman it would be much harder to do that. I'm a natural born flirt. It comes out in my femme pictures, but men pick up on it when it's meant for women and for the most part women saying, "Is that a guy? Ewwwwww!" lol!!!
I love who I am. If people get to know me, they see a different side of me than I am in virtual life. I'm real, full of holes, quite human, quite a guy, quite a guy who gets told, "You're like my wife" by my male friends, and a person who loves all of his friends and family and do my best to support them no matter what.
That's one of the many things I admire about you Elizabeth. You're you and you express it to the world. You're so loving, personable, and human. What else can you ask for in a friend or someone you care about?
Ok, ok so you can ask for more, but those are the most important things to me.Thanks for your post. You stirred up quite a bit of thought. I think I got most of it out here.
Beauty
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Elizabeth
- Miss Ruby Goddess
- Posts: 1878
- Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 3:02 am
Hi Beauty,
Thanks for responding to my post. I just wanted to say that when I say that "I am more than just a criossdresser", I don't mean to condescend and hope I don't come off that way. It is more of a recognition that there is a spectrum of the transgendered from those who only crossdress occasionally to those like myself who dress full time.
If you notice my "signiture"? I clearly identify myself as a crossdresser. I beleive that whatever this is about us, we all share a common feeling about crossdressing that is in it's essence, undescribable. Funny, but we all know it when we feel it. It's almost like trying to explain to someone what love is.
Anyway, I am not only proud to be a crossdressser, I am proud to be associated with such a fine peer group, as this one.
Love always,
Elizabeth
Thanks for responding to my post. I just wanted to say that when I say that "I am more than just a criossdresser", I don't mean to condescend and hope I don't come off that way. It is more of a recognition that there is a spectrum of the transgendered from those who only crossdress occasionally to those like myself who dress full time.
If you notice my "signiture"? I clearly identify myself as a crossdresser. I beleive that whatever this is about us, we all share a common feeling about crossdressing that is in it's essence, undescribable. Funny, but we all know it when we feel it. It's almost like trying to explain to someone what love is.
Anyway, I am not only proud to be a crossdressser, I am proud to be associated with such a fine peer group, as this one.
Love always,
Elizabeth
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hi Elizabeth,
You're welcome. I love reading and responding to you, you know that.
I don't think anyone read anything into you saying more than a crossdresser was better or anything. I was just saying if I'd said it I may have gotten in trouble.
I was half kidding. I'm so sorry if you thought I was saying something else. I think everyone read what you said in the way you meant it. However, the way you clarified it was really awesome!! Well said...twice!!!
Beauty
You're welcome. I love reading and responding to you, you know that.
I don't think anyone read anything into you saying more than a crossdresser was better or anything. I was just saying if I'd said it I may have gotten in trouble.
I was half kidding. I'm so sorry if you thought I was saying something else. I think everyone read what you said in the way you meant it. However, the way you clarified it was really awesome!! Well said...twice!!! Beauty
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Kathy
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 433
- Joined: Sun May 30, 2004 2:38 pm
- Contact:
I've finally had a chance to read this thread in it's entirety. I can't describe what it means to "feel feminine" any more than anyone else here. I just don't feel that way and I tend not to use that word to describe myself. I don't use makeup at all other than occasional neutral nail polish. I don't wear a wig. I do have a beard and moustache. I don't use padding of any kind, ever, with the exception of breast forms which I have in the A/B size.
I don't feel like I'm a woman in any way. I present as a male. But, when I buy clothes, they almost always come from the women's department. I don't own any men's pants at all. All of my jeans and slacks are women's as are most of my t-shirts. I do have some men's shirts. I wear panties exclusively.
I don't dress to "feel feminine". I dress simply to feel comfortable being me. I do believe that, like Elizabeth, I tend to identify more as "not male" but also "not female". When I put on a nice skirt and top it just feels right for me. I don't behave any differently or think any differently depending on how I'm dressed. I'm just me and I'm OK with that.
Love,
Kathy
I don't feel like I'm a woman in any way. I present as a male. But, when I buy clothes, they almost always come from the women's department. I don't own any men's pants at all. All of my jeans and slacks are women's as are most of my t-shirts. I do have some men's shirts. I wear panties exclusively.
I don't dress to "feel feminine". I dress simply to feel comfortable being me. I do believe that, like Elizabeth, I tend to identify more as "not male" but also "not female". When I put on a nice skirt and top it just feels right for me. I don't behave any differently or think any differently depending on how I'm dressed. I'm just me and I'm OK with that.
Love,
Kathy
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Beauty
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 3662
- Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:30 am
- Location: Northern VA
- Contact:
Hi Kathy,
That is really cool that you don't have any outfits that are male clothing.
You are the truest form of a crossdresser in my opinion. What I mean is to cross dress is what you do. If you slice of the gender pie and put CD'rs who are doing more to their bodies than just dressing and those who just dress occasionally I think you're right smack in the middle.
I'm in with a smaller group, but at least we are a group. We go past the clothes line (no pun) We are almost CD'rs, but that voice that tells you, "No" about hormones tells me "no" about testosterone. It tells me "no" to looking in the mirror in femme clothing and seeing a masculine appearance. It tells me "no" to conforming to be more male so I can relate with my masculine side more than my femme side. Still a male component remains and it is under control. If it gets out of control (testosterone) I become incredibly unhappy.
Trying to explain this stuff is like writing a book on how to learn to Ball Room dance or how to feel when a certain song is playing. It's not necessarily tangible.
Regardless Kathy I wanted you to know I really respect you so much for being you. I think you're great! Awesome people like you help me establish my own ground and purpose.
Where we are alike is there's only one me. I don't behave any differently when I'm dressed. You said it perfectly, "I'm just me and I'm OK with that."
What a great post Kathy!!! Thank you I learned more about myself through your words.
Beauty
That is really cool that you don't have any outfits that are male clothing.
You are the truest form of a crossdresser in my opinion. What I mean is to cross dress is what you do. If you slice of the gender pie and put CD'rs who are doing more to their bodies than just dressing and those who just dress occasionally I think you're right smack in the middle.
I'm in with a smaller group, but at least we are a group. We go past the clothes line (no pun)
We are almost CD'rs, but that voice that tells you, "No" about hormones tells me "no" about testosterone. It tells me "no" to looking in the mirror in femme clothing and seeing a masculine appearance. It tells me "no" to conforming to be more male so I can relate with my masculine side more than my femme side. Still a male component remains and it is under control. If it gets out of control (testosterone) I become incredibly unhappy.Trying to explain this stuff is like writing a book on how to learn to Ball Room dance or how to feel when a certain song is playing. It's not necessarily tangible.
Regardless Kathy I wanted you to know I really respect you so much for being you. I think you're great!
Awesome people like you help me establish my own ground and purpose.Where we are alike is there's only one me. I don't behave any differently when I'm dressed. You said it perfectly, "I'm just me and I'm OK with that."
What a great post Kathy!!!
Thank you I learned more about myself through your words. Beauty