I have a question. I am ready to go shopping and after reading the notes here I am not concerned with being embarassed in the store. I will be shopping in Drab. My question and concern is this:
If I shop locally do I run the risk of word getting around? I am sure I can handle going to the counter with the items and looking right at the sales person. What I am afraid of is that they will be supportive but talk after I have left. I have always been amazed at how small the world is and I would be mortified if the sales person knew someone who knew someone who knew someone in my orbit.
Am I better off going shopping far from home? Just curious.
Shopping around town
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Mary Jane Thomas
- Miss Crystal Goddess
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Shopping around town
Dressing, not depressing
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Beauty
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Hi Mary Jane,
I think this is a comfort level thing. I find some people have no problem shopping near home, while I've read of other who totally love shopping away from home.
People are supportive everywhere and talk about you and me after we leave.
Let them talk. If you did your best to be a good person while you were there you did a good thing for TG'd people everywhere.
I hope someone gives you a better answer than I did. You asked a very good question.
Beauty
I think this is a comfort level thing. I find some people have no problem shopping near home, while I've read of other who totally love shopping away from home.
People are supportive everywhere and talk about you and me after we leave.
Let them talk. If you did your best to be a good person while you were there you did a good thing for TG'd people everywhere.I hope someone gives you a better answer than I did. You asked a very good question.
Beauty
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Mary Jane Thomas
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Beauty
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Kathy
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I agree with Beauty in that it is mostly a comfort level thing. But, to me, the question is not about the salesperson talking but more of actually being seen by someone I know. Since I live in a rural area, shopping away from my local stores means very far away. Too far to be practical. So, I just go to the local stores and buy what I'm after. If I'm seen by someone I know, then, so be it. I'm certain it has already happened on a number of occasions but I have never heard any fallout from it.
If you don't want people in your "orbit" to know, then, shop elsewhere. Or, shop online. If you shop locally, it is only a matter of time before someone will see you. It isn't the salesperson or checkout clerk you need to worry about.
Love,
Kathy
If you don't want people in your "orbit" to know, then, shop elsewhere. Or, shop online. If you shop locally, it is only a matter of time before someone will see you. It isn't the salesperson or checkout clerk you need to worry about.
Love,
Kathy
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
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Oregon (SO)
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Re: Shopping around town
Hi Mary.
You dont say if you live in a large urban area or if you are rural. That makes a difference, also in your day job do you work with women or know alot of your co-workers wives or have female friends? If there is a chance that you wil run into any one of them and you don't have a good excuse (shopping for wife or girlfriend a gift/sending a sister or mom a present) then chances are they will wonder if you per chance run into someone. If you don't know alot of women then you probably have to worries. But if there is a chance of seeing a woman you know you need to have a great excuse or be prepared for questions as to why you are there.
Hubby and I live in a surburb and even though it is fairly large I would prefer if we either shop together or go out of town. ALthough I don't really give a damn what anyone thinks to some extent I stil would hate to run into the few acquaintines I know and it be really obvious what is up. But even, that said, if he is with me it does not matter. If he went alone it might be a bit out of character...
You have to go by common sense and instinct, if something does not feel right it probably is not...
kathy incanada
You dont say if you live in a large urban area or if you are rural. That makes a difference, also in your day job do you work with women or know alot of your co-workers wives or have female friends? If there is a chance that you wil run into any one of them and you don't have a good excuse (shopping for wife or girlfriend a gift/sending a sister or mom a present) then chances are they will wonder if you per chance run into someone. If you don't know alot of women then you probably have to worries. But if there is a chance of seeing a woman you know you need to have a great excuse or be prepared for questions as to why you are there.
Hubby and I live in a surburb and even though it is fairly large I would prefer if we either shop together or go out of town. ALthough I don't really give a damn what anyone thinks to some extent I stil would hate to run into the few acquaintines I know and it be really obvious what is up. But even, that said, if he is with me it does not matter. If he went alone it might be a bit out of character...
You have to go by common sense and instinct, if something does not feel right it probably is not...
kathy incanada
Mary Jane Thomas wrote:I have a question. I am ready to go shopping and after reading the notes here I am not concerned with being embarassed in the store. I will be shopping in Drab. My question and concern is this:
If I shop locally do I run the risk of word getting around? I am sure I can handle going to the counter with the items and looking right at the sales person. What I am afraid of is that they will be supportive but talk after I have left. I have always been amazed at how small the world is and I would be mortified if the sales person knew someone who knew someone who knew someone in my orbit.
Am I better off going shopping far from home? Just curious.
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Mary Jane Thomas
- Miss Crystal Goddess
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Kathy
I live in a fairly populated suburban area. And I have a lot of female friends/acquaintances. As a local area coach, I know a lot of the moms and dads of kids who have been on teams of mine. I can say I am buying for my wife, but when that excuse gets a bit stretched when the item is a bra or camisole.
I guess the best bet is to get a bit further away from my area. It makes things harder, but the risk may be too great. Mail order does not work for my wife. Our neighbor has the same last name and she is worried he might get my package.
I live in a fairly populated suburban area. And I have a lot of female friends/acquaintances. As a local area coach, I know a lot of the moms and dads of kids who have been on teams of mine. I can say I am buying for my wife, but when that excuse gets a bit stretched when the item is a bra or camisole.
I guess the best bet is to get a bit further away from my area. It makes things harder, but the risk may be too great. Mail order does not work for my wife. Our neighbor has the same last name and she is worried he might get my package.
Dressing, not depressing
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Kathy
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Do you have any idea how many non-CD husbands buy such things for their wives these days? Especially in suburban areas. And, it doesn't even have to be a special occasion. That's a lesson I learned over 20 years ago while I was living outside of Chicago. I was always having the salespeople comment on how nice it was to see men shopping for their spouses. If it was that "old hat" then, it must be pretty ho-hum for them now.Mary Jane Thomas wrote:I can say I am buying for my wife, but when that excuse gets a bit stretched when the item is a bra or camisole.
But, given the number of people who know you by sight, shopping out of town is probably your best bet.
Love,
Kathy in Vermont
Whatever you accomplish in life is a manifestation not so much of what you do, as of what you believe deeply within yourself that you deserve. - Les Brown
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Virginia
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Mary Jane,
If I am shopping in a store for "unmentionables" when I lay them on the counter, I always ask "What is your return policy, just in case she does not like them?" They will tell you, ring up the items and your on your way. If someone you know happens to come up, like my sisters have said, don't be embarrassed, just say "Hi" If they say anything about your purchases, and its a guy, just say, "sorry, you caught me, I was getting this (these) for you for Christmas, hope you like the color." laugh, laugh. If they persist, just say, "damn, your nosey. could be none of your business." or, "I'm a bit short, can I borrow your credit card?" Or just say, "its a surprise!"
Most people are happy with a wave or a hello, and are not going to hang around to see what you have bought anyway. let alone critique your purchases.
Virginia
If I am shopping in a store for "unmentionables" when I lay them on the counter, I always ask "What is your return policy, just in case she does not like them?" They will tell you, ring up the items and your on your way. If someone you know happens to come up, like my sisters have said, don't be embarrassed, just say "Hi" If they say anything about your purchases, and its a guy, just say, "sorry, you caught me, I was getting this (these) for you for Christmas, hope you like the color." laugh, laugh. If they persist, just say, "damn, your nosey. could be none of your business." or, "I'm a bit short, can I borrow your credit card?" Or just say, "its a surprise!"
Most people are happy with a wave or a hello, and are not going to hang around to see what you have bought anyway. let alone critique your purchases.
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Jadeanne
- Miss Ruby Goddess
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Hi all,
I have bought things first for my mother (when I was small, with my father along to guide in making the choice), later on my own for my mother or girlfriends, then my same dress size wife, and the past couple of years for myself, too. I'm used to shopping in the womens section by now, sometimes the only male standing in a long line to pay during sales.
There was only one time when I felt ill at ease and that was in an expensive store where I was looking at bra and panty sets for my wife for our 25th anniversary and the young female clerk tried to steer me to a black robe and nightgown set. I left there, went several stores down the mall to Burlington Coat, and bought her 2 bra and panty sets plus a satin nightgown and matching robe for less than I was going to spend in the fancy store.
Besides that one incidence, I have never had any trouble.
Jadeanne
I have bought things first for my mother (when I was small, with my father along to guide in making the choice), later on my own for my mother or girlfriends, then my same dress size wife, and the past couple of years for myself, too. I'm used to shopping in the womens section by now, sometimes the only male standing in a long line to pay during sales.
There was only one time when I felt ill at ease and that was in an expensive store where I was looking at bra and panty sets for my wife for our 25th anniversary and the young female clerk tried to steer me to a black robe and nightgown set. I left there, went several stores down the mall to Burlington Coat, and bought her 2 bra and panty sets plus a satin nightgown and matching robe for less than I was going to spend in the fancy store.
Besides that one incidence, I have never had any trouble.
Jadeanne