Being Male?

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:23 pm

Well Ladies what is it like to feel male?

A recent statement has led me to ask this question. I am not talking about the actions of certain males. I am not looking for such things as being competitive, macho etc. Note some males are submissive.

So what are we talking about with statements such as; I have never felt male yet I don't know what it means to be a woman or to feel like one?

Mandy Swag · Post by **Mandy Swag** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:21 pm

You know, I struggle with this question all the time...

I used to think that women, sex drive, "man part" size, etc. I think what makes you a man of a women is what is inside... that is all that matters...

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:52 pm

Mandy Swag wrote:You know, I struggle with this question all the time...

I used to think that women, sex drive, "man part" size, etc. I think what makes you a man of a women is what is inside... that is all that matters...

OK then Mandy what’s inside (To feel) that is different than a woman apart from the ability to bear children?

Mandy Swag · Post by **Mandy Swag** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 2:12 am

Emotion, caring, thinking, attitudes, interests, etc all make up who we are, male or female.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 11:11 am

I'll take a shot at this, this way! Ever been out with your SO to an upscale restaurant - candle lit dinner?? I have yet to see any woman who does not appear stunning by candle light! Us?? well if you notice we in general only look letcherous in candle light! Then the food! She delicately dines on her selection, we on the other hand simply see it as an opportunity for additional sustanance! A steak - we have this deep down urge to grab it with our bare hands, rip it apart to the bone, juice flying everwhere, slug down a beverage, reach across the table, grab her, throw her on the floor or table and have our way with her!! Fortunately for some of us, certain GG's like that. It is ingrained in us, we have just learned to control it! For those of us with the "gift" we have even better control and can experience the experience from a gender variance that a lot of our other knuckle-dragging brethren will never know, yet it is still there just MUCH more subdued! The "Women's Rights" movement has scrambled a lot of our male brains. Where we use to be able to leer at a woman, or for the more civilized of us, to even compliment them on their appearance or clothing, unless we want to be sued, fired, slapped or otherwise disciplined for a natural ingrained male tendency, i.e., to chase females, we have learned NO! you can no longer do that! It is pretty easy to figure out! What women can do and get away with vs,. what we can do and get away with! NO contest. The advantage that we as crossdressers have it a better ability to see it from the GG's standpoint much more so than our ill-imformed and/or prepared brethren.
Virginia

Kathy · Post by **Kathy** » Fri Aug 19, 2005 7:44 pm

Hi Darlene,

Another good question.

And, I don't think I am capable of answering it. I will, however, plead guilty of having used that statement or something similar to it. But, it would be more correct for me to say that I don't know what "feeling male" feels like. Nor do I know what "feeling female" feels like.

I only know what it feels like to be me. How that differs from what anyone else feels, regardless of gender, is quite impossible for me to say because it is not possible for me to feel what anyone else feels. So, for me to say I don't feel female is a statement without meaning.

Love,
Kathy

CJ · Post by CJ » Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:29 pm

Hi all,

Great idea for a thread, Darlene.

I think there's an issue of semantics at work here, though. It seems to me nonsensical to talk about "feeling" male (or female). "Male" (or "female") is something you are, not something you feel. You are male or female by birth (or intersexed, if such is the case). Now, feeling masculine or feminine is a different matter. You can feel more or less masculine or feminine, regardless of your birth sex; it's a continuum, as opposed to the much more binary "male-female" pair. Usually, both men and women feel some of both along that continuum and, again, usually, in a way that's fairly congruent with their birth sex. Er, as all of us here well know, there are exceptions to this.

"Male" and "female" have to do with physiology; "masculine" and "feminine" have to do with the point where psychological experience intersects with social customs and expectations regarding gender. "Male" and "female" are universal constants (barring hermaphroditic or intersex conditions) whereas "masculine" and "feminine" are fluid concepts that can vary from culture to culture and even from epoch to epoch within the same culture.

All this to say that it makes more sense to me to ask, "what does it mean to feel masculine (or feminine) in this culture, at this time?" The answer to this will need to be a pairing of two fragments: the inner (the "lived" psychological experience) and the outer (the social customs and expectations regarding gender--in our culture, at this time).

Like Kathy, I don't think I can really know what it feels like to be "male" (or "female"). But I do know "what it feels like to be a male who feels feminine more than males usually do"... it's who I am, and it feels like "me."

Love,
CJ

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:48 pm

Hi all,

I think that what those who make the statements like the one at the beginning of this thread; are referring to what has been handed down to them/us by the masses. And in fact has very little to do with what it means to be male.

I suspect that were we to present this same question to the asses (that have passed this on to us) they could not give us a better answer.

Anne · Post by **Anne** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 9:57 pm

Virginia wrote:... Ever been out with your SO to an upscale restaurant - candle lit dinner?? I have yet to see any woman who does not appear stunning by candle light! Us?? well if you notice we in general only look letcherous in candle light! Then the food! She delicately dines on her selection, we on the other hand simply see it as an opportunity for additional sustanance! A steak - we have this deep down urge to grab it with our bare hands, rip it apart to the bone, juice flying everwhere, slug down a beverage, reach across the table, grab her, throw her on the floor or table and have our way with her!! ...

I still feel the male way in many ways but I see the other side. My one time out at a local meeting, I felt the other way, I carefully ate, was compassionate, thoughtful.

I have wondered if the male can be tamed just by presentation or if T blockers might be required also to get all the rough thoughts out. Ideas?

COmbined with this was the thought that as a TG transitions, the male urges and the desires for clothes turn into more natural feminine feelings, what might those really be? Like looking across a river, seeing the bank but not truly knowing what is over there (for there may be dragons or butterflies).

Anne

Beauty · Post by **Beauty** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:13 pm

Hi Anne,

Transitioning doesn't usually mean you had urges where you had a desire for clothes at all. The thing with clothes for me was I was dressing the sex I felt I was. The clothing wasn't a desire (I didn't think you meant that in a sexual way, btw) I just mean there was no desire that changed. So transitioning does not mean feeling turn to more natural feelings. Your feelings are natural before you begin to transition, they just don't fit with your current body. Taking hormones won't change that.

There are men who take testosterone blocking drugs for prostate cancer. They stay the same people, less a strong sex drive.

I didn't get your statement about looking across a river, seeing the bank but not truly knowing what's over there?

Beauty

Loretta Ann · Post by **Loretta Ann** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:29 pm

Hi all,

My thoughts on this Ann are that carefully eating, being compassionate, and thoughtful are not the exclusive rights of a female. Not having those qualities are simply some thing we have adopted. They are something that have been repressed in us since child hood and need a vehicle (for us) to be able to express them.

I can remember having such thoughts that I could not wear a pink shirt because it would make me appear too feminine. Heaven forbid is there something all that wrong with femininity that we need to avoid it like the plaque? What kind of a message are we sending the females with statements like that?

Aligning such things as stated above as exclusively feminine is in my opinion making a statement that degrades the male. In fact I believe it is a self imposed false message that has hurts us.

Post by **Celia** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:41 pm

Feeling male?

It's a little bit like asking someone whose never seen her reflection to describe what she looks like. If I could spend some time as a genuine female, I guess I'd know. But it ain't gonna happen, of course. The best I could ever manage is an approximation. And pi isn't 3.14.

-Celia

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 1:21 am

Hi girls,

Darlene wrote:

Well Ladies what is it like to feel male?

I haven't the foggiest idea.

Love always,
Elizabeth

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Tue Aug 23, 2005 10:01 am

Elizabeth wrote that she has not the foggiest idea, but do we not have a certain responsibility to try and find out. It is an ingrained human desire to want to know, to explore, to "go where no (man) has gone before!" with respects to Mr. Roddenberry! "What is on the opposite bank of the river, butterflies or dragons?" Hell, let's find out, boat, swim, fly across the damn river. It is a beautiful human desire. What is at the bottom of the ocean, what is out amongst the stars???? Let's find out!!! Why do some of us have a desire to put on clothing of the opposite sex??? Let's find out!!!!What effect does it have on us? What effect does it have on those around us??(I ain't goin there - well I guess I will, given a court order, but that is another story - right?

). Curosity, the inconquerable human soul - we, as a living entity, are so stupid yet brillant all at the same time. And the diverse complexity is just beyond comprehension. That there are those of us who wish to experience "both sides of the fence" at the same time is truly amazing and even more so some of us seem to be able to accomplish it (ELIZABETH!!).
Evolution, as I have said, could "we" be the next phase in human
evolution? Woman are evolving as well. I will never forget an interview I saw on board a US Navy aircraft carrier - this moronic interviewer ask a highly skilled and highly trained, FEMALE Naval Aviator, who flew the most sophisticated jet in our current arrsanal, the FA-18 about whether or not she could actually shoot down another aircraft, her relpy was priceless: "Just try me!!!!!" and she turned and walked away!!! You have "Come along way,Baby!!!"
We may be asked in the not to distant future: "What is it like to have "The Gift?"
Keep the faith, girls!
Virginia

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Tue Aug 23, 2005 1:31 pm

Hi girls,

When I said I have not the foggiest idea, what I mean is that this seems to be a circular argument. We have repeatedly discussed the "what it means to be a woman" or "female" and I don't have answers for those either. If I knew what it meant to be male, I doubt I would be here.

I mean I know what it means to have a male body. But I prefer it shaved, soft, with long hair, and in women's clothes, makeup and accessories. Which does not appear to be what most males prefer. I am not interested in fighting, going fast, or risking my body for no reason, to prove I will.

Indeed I have spent most of my life disliking my male body, wishing instead that I had been born with a female body. All I know is what it feels like to be me. And if I dress this body I do have, in girls clothes, it reduces the anxiety I feel about it, a substantial amount. Enough so, that I feel less anxiety about society rejecting me than I would with my body in men's clothes.

"There are a lot of decaffienated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing" - Real Genius

Love always,
Elizabeth