"I don't fully understand the point--maybe it's that married CDs risk having spouses read their posts in an adult section. If so then maybe SO's should not be given access. I think I'd prefer that in any case."
If there is to be such a place then please open it to So's too. Whilst I understand the concern of married cd's being worried about spouses reading their posts, I don't think we need to 'sugar-coat' things for So's. We don't need protecting. Many come here for info. and greater understanding and, believe me, some are already experiencing sexual matters that confuse them. I would rather a place like this had a forum where it could be discussed in an adult manner.
Having said that, I'll bow to the regulars as to how this would affect the board as a whole but it could be a source of greater understanding for So's, so please don't exclude them.
I think a private folder might be a reasonable compromise.
What they can't see won't attract them, and if it's invitation-only you can de-invite those who abuse things. Probably would be good to have some guidelines though to make clear that we're interested in discussing adult subjects like adults.
Mhairi (SO) wrote:If there is to be such a place then please open it to So's too. Whilst I understand the concern of married cd's being worried about spouses reading their posts, I don't think we need to 'sugar-coat' things for So's.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, Mhairi. They make me reconsider things. There's no substitute for, and few healing powers as strong or effective as, the truth. "The truth will set you free."
Maybe it's difficult for people to admit to themselves the extent to which sexuality is fundamentally involved with CDing.
Thanks for reconsidering Cathy. Although I highlighted your text, it was a general plea to all who may feel this way.
I am on an SO email list but I particularly like this forum where both Cd's and SO's can speak together. I feel I gain more insight. Sometimes communication with a partner can be difficult and it helps to read how cd's feel about subjects here. Of course, no 'one-size fits all' but the differing perspectives broaden my knowledge and I believe it has improved my own relationship.
I started this thread quite a while ago. It did not take long for me to change my mind. I have been to the other sites and they lack the magic of this place, if not outright flame wars or being an open dating service.
If you read through the posts you will find there are many threads where our sexuality is discussed. It is done in a respectful, clean language and frank manner. I have yet to be censored for doing so, and to the best of my knowledge no one has ever been censored for discussing personal sexual things in a clean, matter of fact way.
I have been censored for using language that was not appropriate. I would say a good rule to follow would be to discuss things as if you were talking to your mother. I am certain a separate area would in the end, take away from the healing power of this place, as it would divert that energy from where it is needed the most.
There are plenty of sites on the web where sexual issues and crossdressing are discussed on a regular basis. I beleive that is part of what makes this place different. Not focusing on the sexual aspects of crossdressing.
You have my vote ! I think sex is a very important part of CDing. This area will give us the opportunity to expand our conversations of course without crossing into the pornographic or illegal.
I had to go back and see if I had responded to this and I had, over a year ago and after reading what I wrote then, I will stand by it. First, most if not all of my sisters here are very articulate and most of YOU are able to express yourself in a manner that is very acceptable "even in mixed company."
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
Hello Girls
I voted "no". For me, CJ's observations are 100% on target. It will be interesting to see how this evolves. I know that Beauty, Sharon and the members will develop a solution that maintains the integrety of this very unique forum. Hugz to all....
Lynne
Why can't this level of sexual discussion just be part of Hot Topics? That's already set aside for more controversial matters, which have been politics and religion. If a post doesn't seem appropriate, it will get edited or deleted just like any other Hot Topics post would.
I'm still not wild about the idea, but I agree that this forum generally handles difficult subjects in a decent fashion.
I know that one of the chief concerns is the integrity of this forum. However...
I really feel that a folder for more sexual topics would most certainly still be beneficial to those who seek it. And I really don't feel that this forum would suffer as a result. We keep it locked just as we do the Hot Topics folder, and anyone who chooses not to have access, does not have to.
My beautiful ladies - this forum has always been in class by itself, and continues to do so. And for that reason I've always considered myself priveleged to be a part of it.
However, I do believe that this group is most certainly capable of discussing topics of a sexual nature in a civilized fashion, or at least choosing whether or not we wish to participate.
This is ultimately up to the mods, however my vote for an Adult Folder stands.
All sexual conversations will be removed if they are in Hot Topics or not. Right now we don't feel managing that. We have a lot to do as it is. Managing sexual discussion forums would be the straw that breaks our backs.
Adding sexual discussions to Hot Topics would do the exact same thing. We would have to manage what's appropriate and what isn't appropriate and remove or edit posts. Most of you have bared witness to when I do this and the behaviors of some people. One of the original members of the forum left after I altered her post and we've seen others get upset with me and Sharon. No thanks. So editing things wouldn't be the answer either because it would cause hard feelings and could cause dissension on the forum. This is one more thing we don't feel like managing.
We're really sorry about this, but right now the answer is still that we won't be opening a adult area in the near future.
Beauty
All sexual conversations will be removed if they are in Hot Topics or not. Right now we don't feel managing that. We have a lot to do as it is. Managing sexual discussion forums would be the straw that breaks our backs.
Adding sexual discussions to Hot Topics would do the exact same thing. We would have to manage what's appropriate and what isn't appropriate and remove or edit posts. Most of you have bared witness to when I do this and the behaviors of some people. One of the original members of the forum left after I altered her post and we've seen others get upset with me and Sharon. No thanks. So editing things wouldn't be the answer either because it would cause hard feelings and could cause dissension on the forum. This is one more thing we don't feel like managing.
We're really sorry about this, but right now the answer is still that we won't be opening a adult area in the near future.
Beauty
Well... as disappointed as I am by this decision (and I really am), I guess we have to respect it.
Hi Beauty--
I can see that it would take more time and energy to monitor and edit posts that deal with sexual discussions. Thank you for replying to the suggestion, and I can respect your decision.
Beauty
You bring up a really good point, one that (I'll bet) most of us didn't think of as we are not doing the work! Moderating this board, with so many forums has got to take a lot ot time. The fact that the standards remain very high is a testiment to the hard work and commitment of the moderators. A big hug for you all!
Love,
Lynne
Although I highlighted your text, it was a general plea to all who may feel this way.
, but thanks for your feedback because it is important. 
So editing things wouldn't be the answer either because it would cause hard feelings and could cause dissension on the forum. This is one more thing we don't feel like managing. 
