Another question for CDers.

[Loretta Ann]

Hi all,

I have noticed that none of us lay claim to having no sexual feelings attached to cross-dressing, yet many like to think they would like to be woman.

Well my question is do women obtain sexual feelings (that is become sexually aroused) due to the clothes they wear?

I don't think they do (at least to the extent of obtaining release) So how do you all equate that into the completed picture?

[Shenica]

I am going to take a polarized look at this, although I realize that none or us are really at either pole. From general reading and conversation...

They say the brain of a man is wired differently than the brain of a woman. This may be genetic, or it may be a result of culture, patterning during formative years, or basic personality.

Men tend to get their stimulus from outside influences, be that the actions of the one they are with, erotic literature, clothing etc. Women tend to get their stimulus from the feelings they have, usually generated by the words, actions, projected emotions of the person they are with. So I would suggest that the female would not get significant arousal from the clothing itself, but would from the way the clothing makes them feel internally.

A pretty nightgown given to one of us would cause immediate arousal. A pretty nightgown given to our partner would cause her to feel loved, to feel cherished, to feel beautiful, and that would trigger the arousal.

Someone wrote - A man uses love to get sex, a woman uses sex to get love. If this is true, it may account for different arousal patterns.

To answer your question, I think that the sexual feelings come from the clothing in an indirect and complex way.

shenica

[Cathy L. Anderson]

Hi Darlene,

Well my question is do women obtain sexual feelings (that is become sexually aroused) due to the clothes they wear?

As always, a lot depends on thinking carefully about terms. I don't think women get aroused by clothing, but I do think they use clothes (like lingerie) to "feel sexy."

So I suggest that CDers might use clothing in two different sexual ways: (1) male arousal, and (2) a more female kind of relaxed, receptive, sexiness or sensuality.

We might also factor in that CDing, and soft clothes in particular, tend to be relaxing. And relaxation, while not sexual arousal, can facilitate sexual arousal.

Finally, women can dress racy as a way of giving themselves permission to experience feelings and social situations that ordinarily they would repress or avoid.

Cathy

[Absaroka]

I doubt very many women put on a pair of their panties and find it so exiting that they must have sex with themselves the way some of us do. Perhaps if the love of their life gives them to them. Once, not repeatedly.

A couple of thoughts. Maybe some of us would like to be the object of our own desire. How much fun would that be. Our own body as a sex object.

2nd, for me at least sex can get tied to all sorts of things. I can be aroused by looking at a waterfall for example.

Probably there are a great many men who like being men, don't want to be anything else, and who think it would be interesting and fun to be a woman for a day, a week, a month. But just as an experiment to see what it is like and absolutely no desire to change for good.

Andrea

[Elizabeth]

Hi girls,

Wow!!!!! That is a loaded question. I am not sure anyone who is not actually female and perhaps even among females themselves, can give just one answer for that, that will apply to every woman.

Speaking for myself, a person who wears female clothing 24/7, who is not sexually aroused by the clothing, I can say that the clothes make me feel "pretty" and indeed sometimes they make me feel sexy.

I have heard other GG's on this very forum talk about clothes making them feel sexy or sexually desireable to others, but never have I heard a woman say she was turned on by clothes themselves.

Again, I don't want to speak for women and could be way off base here, but I beleive women like how clothes make them look first, and how clothes make them feel second, i.e. "does this dress make me look fat". Women are perfectly willing to suffer in clothing that is very uncomfortable or even painful for the comestic value of the clothing when they want to be noticed.

Other times women will pull thier hair up, put on sweats and a t-shirt to be comfortable and not concern themselves with thier desireability, sometimes specifically for that purpose.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[DonnaT]

I've never been aroused by the clothes, fantasies while wearing them, yes, but the clothes themselves, no.

As for women, haven't a clue, but I bet some do. Yet, seeing as how there are millions of women, I don't know them all, then there is no sure way to prove or disprove it.

[Valerie]

I used to get aroused when I was younger but now I just enjoy the feeling of the clothes. I have heard the the saying " gives you that warm fuzzy feeling". That is what it does to me now. As for my opinion of my SO,I believe the clothes she has on usually is just to be comfortable,be it shorts or what. When dressing up it is to look nice and has nothing to do with sex. Just my 2 cents worth, .

[Loretta Ann]

Hi all,

Great honest replies all.

However (if there are women who obtain sexual release from the clothes) then the question could be if there are; is that the woman you are trying to be? I find it very interesting that among those who have replied here that some women might. Also are those who lay claim to not being sexually affected in the way that has been described, and it would then seem reasonable to conclude that they are not attempting to be the kind of woman who would be able to obtain sexual release as a result of the clothes she is wearing.

I did not think the question was loaded. I tried to be right up front with it. However I am not interested in if there are some women who do which I personally very much doubt. I think it is reasonable to conclude that if there was we would have heard of it some where.

However the question was How do you all equate that into the completed picture? Not are there some women who do; being as if there are it is something that is un-tangible.

Further comments appreciated.

[Beauty]

Hi Darlene,

I just wanted to comment that I kind of wanted to stick my finger down my throat from all of the PC answers about sexual arousal or feeling sexy when dressing lately (not just in this thread).

Your question was pretty upfront and to the point, but people seem to be saying, "Oh.. well not me." However when we do anonymous polling it's a whole different representation of our forum. CD'rs here do admit sexual stimulation or feeling sexy by getting dressed.

Is it that saying that these days equals the thoughts of dark bars and sex or something? Is it now considered immoral on this board? What is going on here?

If dressing turned me on I'd admit it. I wish at times I could go back to when it did. I had fun. It was a total release and nothing I'm ashamed of. It's really odd to me how people are kind of either thumbing their noses at those who do or are too afraid to be honest with themselves about enjoying dressing sexy and feeling sexy? I wear sweat pants, jeans, and baggy clothes more than I wear dresses these days, but when I dress sexy I feel sexy. It's a feeling not an act.

Get over it already. Stop being such fuddy duddies. You know you are aroused or feel sexy, even if it's not like when you're a teenager there are sexual feelings most of you have. My gawd.. you have a hormone rushing through your body that loves sex. It's a hormone that is there so you will mate. It's also a very powerful turn on booster. Just answer her question and be honest for goodness sake.

And please spare me the "I have lower than most men testosterone levels" line or "I'm not like other men when it comes to arousal. I have a low sex drive." or the puking will begin. Give me a break. Most CD'rs here have low sex drives, but that doesn't prevent them from using their hands down south to provide an easy fix for sexual pleasure. Nor does it prevent someone from pulling up their hose on their leg where they notice the shape and they think, "That is sexy" or even the feeling of fastening a garter feeling sexy.

No one is going to bite you, well maybe I will if you use language that's too adult , but you know what I mean. You're already a person who wears frilly things, panties, thigh highs, garters and other things that are considered sexy by men and some gals out there. Just be you here. Stop trying to be Father Knows Best. Look down, you're in a dress and hose or wearing something femme.

Beauty

[Absaroka]

I liked what Beauty said in her last post.

I think it comes down to just because it is swimming in the sea, it doesn't mean it's a fish. Could be a whale or a turtle.

Crossdressing seems to cover a bunch of stuff, which of course is not news to anyone here. There are the folks who really feel they are in the wrong body, there are the folks who are ambiguous in terms of gender, folks who are mostly in it for the sex, and so on including all sorts of combinations.

The few cders I know personally are drag queens. They have the who persona down but it seems to be just performance art. I know that these people are a small minority in terms of cding but still how come we never hear about them here?

Speaking just for myself something to remember is that fantasy has always played a very strong role in my life. I have been quite surprised to find that some people do not have the rich fantasy life that I do in fact. Couple that with a sexual arousal from womens clothes and I have a fun new game.

Do I have a strong feminine streak in me? Absolutely. Do I find a lot of the stuff that goes with being a "traditional" guy difficult? Yes again. Do I have any desire to become a woman for a day or a week? Sure. Would I do it if it was irreversable? Only with a gun to my head.

I have found that for a guy who doesn't want to be quite traditional (in touch with feelings, empathic, nurturing) there are lots of opportunities and not a lot of rejection nowadays except for inside my own head.

Thats why I sometimes call this a hobby, which seems to upset some people here. I am describing how it feels for me, not anyone else. I recognize that for some here this is a life and death issue that goes to the core of their very being. Not me.

And I guess this is why you are going to get all sorts of different answers, which is a good thing in my opinion. And I have to say that I truly enjoy hearing from all the different orientations here on the forum.

Yes there is something here for me that is much more important than what I am wearing today, even though I love that topic. There are people here who are desparately searching for answers and self acceptance. That is actually what I like most about this forum, that it has given me more self acceptance. I hope it is doing this for a lot of other folks as well.

Andrea

[Loretta Ann]

However the question was How do you all equate that into the completed picture? Not are there some women who do; being as if there are it is something that is un-tangible.

Thank you for answering that question Andrea. I think you have done a good job of that as it applies to you. As Beauty said...No one is going to bite you.

For most of us here...you do not have to be perfect to be accepted. In fact quite the opposite is true (for me). If there were any here that I would not accept it would be those who claim and/or present themselves as being perfect. As well as those who attempt to demand that others be perfect.

Having said that; let it be (perfectly) clearly understood that I do not accept the actions of those so inclined, and will do what I can to publicly expose such actions. In fact I admit to occasionally quite enjoying the exercise.

Hey Beauty,

Am I ever glad I do not concern myself with how others will respond. Although some here are quite predicable, your response here was welcomed, even though it surprised me.

[Kathy]

I have never been one to "lay claim to having no sexual feelings attached to cross-dressing". And, I don't want to be a woman. So, I'm not exactly sure how the question "How do you all equate that into the completed picture?" applies in my case.

At the risk of making Beauty puke it is generally not the clothing that turns me on. Now, some twenty odd years ago, I could not have said that. I would have to say that, in those days, I was more of a fetish dresser and just the act of puting on the clothes was enough to set me off. But, in those days, I had only limited opportunities to "dress up" so just the excitement of having the opportunity played a part in that.

But, that was then and this is now. As I've mentioned elsewhere, I presently do not own any male clothing to be worn from the waist down. So, just to be dressed at all means wearing something femme. My mode of dress, on a day to day basis would fit CJ's description of "practical femininity". Do I get turned on just by getting dressed each morning? No.

OTOH, I do own my share of "frilly" stuff which I put on from time to time when I'm feeling a bit, shall we say, frisky. But, since I'm already feeling frisky, is it the clothes that turn me on or are they simply enhancing a feeling I already had to begin with? Now, I have no idea what my testosterone levels are but I can assure you that I do get turned on by much the same stimuli that would turn on any "normal", red blooded, human male. When I see a good looking female with a well put together outfit approaching on the street, believe me, I know without question that the plumbing still works. I don't need the frilly girl clothes to get turned on. But, I do use them to enhance that feeling or, even prolong that feeling.

What I will say is that when I put on a pair of nylon panties and a nice pair of slacks, as opposed to cotton panties and jeans, there is an undeniable sensuous feeling. Not sexual arousal, mind you , but that feeling of having something that feels really good against my skin. Now, my own opinion, for what its worth , is this is the feeling that most women have when dressed up. And, that is something I can relate to.

Love,
Kathy

[Beauty]

Hi Kathy,

You didn't make me puke, I promise. If you read or scan my post again you'll see I did my best to say clothing makes CD'rs sexy or is sexual arousing.

I think it was great that you shared who you are.

Beauty

[Jadeanne]

Hi all,

I have noticed that none of us lay claim to having no sexual feelings attached to cross-dressing, yet many like to think they would like to be woman.

Well my question is do women obtain sexual feelings (that is become sexually aroused) due to the clothes they wear?

I don't think they do (at least to the extent of obtaining release) So how do you all equate that into the completed picture?

My personal answers to Darlene's question

My wife does not wear provocative clothing to get herself aroused, but to get me aroused and then I get her aroused (only as her loving husband, not dressed femme).

I really do not want to become a woman, although I sometimes like to read TG fiction stories about transformations and other things, but they are pretty much fantasies that are best kept between the ears .

There are times when I do find wearing womens clothes a turnon, especially the more frilly, restrictive, and revealing items.

Does anyone need the barf bucket?


Jadeanne

[Loretta Ann]

Hi Kathy,

You and I share something in common, Your response is very similar to what mine would be to a thread like this. it is easy for me to equate that into the completed picture, as I neither want to pass as (or become) a woman.

What I will say is that when I put on a pair of nylon panties and a nice pair of slacks, as opposed to cotton panties and jeans, there is an undeniable sensuous feeling. Not sexual arousal, mind you , but that feeling of having something that feels really good against my skin. Now, my own opinion, for what its worth , is this is the feeling that most women have when dressed up. And, that is something I can relate to.

The only part of your post that I can not fully relate to; (is that this is the feeling most women have when dressing up). Speaking here of my feeling that sounds very familiar to the way you described yours. I usualy end up putting my hand down south to appease that feeling, which enables me to move on to enjoy, what I think is a more realistic experiance, of what it is like to feel like a woman would feel dressed in the same kind of clothing.