Run-of-the-mill Beginnings

[Celia]

The first incident I remember was when I was about 10--my older sister coaxed me into dressing as a girl: my younger sister and brother outed me . Within a couple of years, though, I was sampling the remaining clothing of my older sister, who had left home by this point. My crossdressing was mostly fetishistic at this time. This fetishism continued through my twenties. From about thirty to forty, my CDing went into something of a dormant period. In my thirty-ninth year, however, I rediscovered my enjoyable "hobby", and it's been going fairly strong since. The fetishism has pretty much been replaced with femininity, which I've been exploring with fascination. Anyway, that's the short account.

Yours,
Celia

[Beauty]

Hi Celia,

Thanks for sharing your beginnings story!

Sorry you got outed though when you were 10. What was the fall-out from that?

I found the more I repressed my feelings the more fetish like my behavoir was.

In my twenties, I thought it was only a fetish too and that I wasn't a true CrossDresser, but like you the more feminine I became the more it moved from fetish to lifestyle. I was less aroused and I felt more complete when dressing.

I took a short hiatus with dressing from like 27 to 29/30.

Thanks for posting your beginning story Celia!!

Beauty

[Stephanie Higgins]

Well I feel bad that this was a prank to your sister but I have to say that there are points that I feel if I just got outed that the pain of holding all this in would be over but then i think that maybe it wouldnt do anything. That is the hard part of life deciding whether to do it the hard way (by yourself) or the easy painful (in the hands of others). But then you have to think a little knowledge is a dangerous weapon. Your story has made me think but I dont think fast so I'll have to get back to you with my decision.

So sorry
Stephanie

[Nancy]

Reading this thread made me think, dosen't it just frost you sometimes when you look back over all we have been through as CD's to all of the precions time we have wasted over the years?

It's as if when we start to zero in on where we are going with this and to understand it and accept who and what we are, darn we have wasted a lot of time and I for one just enjoy the heck out of this and really do not care to waste any more of the time that I have left.

Just a Nancy thought..

[Alexandra]

Reading this thread made me think, dosen't it just frost you sometimes when you look back over all we have been through as CD's to all of the precions time we have wasted over the years?

Yep, that's why we all need to get out there . . . the clock is ticking girls! . . . put the wig on, tammyfaye your face, grab a friend and go make the world yours!

[CJ]

Hi Celia,

Yep, your story certainly rings a bell, as far as the fetishistic aspect goes. Crossdressing is something that is so much within us, it seems, that any attempt to stifle it only makes it percolate up to the surface in more "underhanded" ways--such as underwear fetishes and underdressing. I've been there too (and sometimes still am, I guess).

As Nancy and Alexandra say, we need to evaluate more realistically (and not fear so much) the risks of being out so that we may more fully become who we are and who we were meant to be. However, some, like Stephanie, are in the slightly unenviable position of having to move and live in a fairly intolerant and "cliqueish" milieu (high school, for example) and so have to weigh the pros and cons of self-revelation very closely. It's never an easy thing to do. But living a "lie" for most of your life is harder still.

Thanks for posting your story, Celia. It's always a pleasure to discover how others have handled a situation you, yourself, have gone (or are going) through.

Love,
CJ

[Celia]

Ah! Responsive and pleasant. Such ladies!

Yours,
Celia

[Carolynn]

Celia, thank you for sharing your story.