Question for the GGs

[DonnaT]

Since I've never really had a good question to post, I had a thought in response to the common question CDs get, i.e., would you like to be a woman (or similar).

So, a couple of questions for you ladies:

1) Would you like to be a man if you could be?

2) If you had been born a male, how do you think you would have handled being transgendered, from childhood to adult?

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Donna

Hmmm, you don't post questions often, but when you do you certainly make us really think!

1) Would you like to be a man if you could be?

No. I'm quite happy being a GG, thank you very much! There are definitely things that only GG's experience that I could certainly do without, namely menstrual cycles, giving birth (which I've avoided!), and menopause, to name a few. Then, too, there are things that only men enjoy that GG's cannot, such as no long restroom lines at stadiums, higher salaries, no glass ceilings, etc. - - but those 'benefits' would never be enough to make me wish I were a man!!

2) If you had been born a male, how do you think you would have handled being transgendered, from childhood to adult?

I really don't know how to answer that question, Donna. Are you implying that I would still have the same personality, thoughts, or desires that I have now, but was born male?

Presuming that is what you meant, then I believe I would have had a very difficult time growing up because I was always questioning the why's and wherefore's, much to my parents' and parochial school (LCMS) teachers' chagrin! As an adult, that still exists and has also transformed to hating double-standards of any kind; hating how people, especially the religious fanatics, think that they are always right, and that if someone is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered they are sinning, perverted, and can be changed into 'hetero' if they try hard enough. I believe in seeing the gray, not just black or white of any issue.

I would have been fighting society and the religious sects to be able to dress as I want, do as I want, and yet be treated as an equal - enjoying the same freedoms and privileges as those 'non-transgendered'. My life would not be an easy one, but knowing I was not 'alone' but 'one of many' would have made life more bearable, although still fraught with emotional pain - but hopefully no physical pain.


- SL

[CJ]

Hi all,

Interesting question, Donna! Definitely. I'll let the GG's answer but, if you're ever curious, I can recommend this book to you. I had a blast reading it.



There's a companion volume called, Queen For A Day. I'll let you guess what it's about.

Love,
CJ

[Curly(SO)]

Hi Donna!

No, I really have never wanted to be a man. Sometimes though, I am envious of the fact that men can have a quick shower, shave and throw on jeans and t-shirt and are ready to go out, looking great. Low-maintenance would help me with my appalling lack of time-management

I know I could do that anyway...but I have a self inflicted higher maintenance routine....I wouldn't want to run the risk of comments like 'she's not made an effort' or 'she's let herself go'. I find the whole process a drag...shaving legs, styling and straightening hair, applying makeup, but I do like the end result...another reason I wouldn't want to be a man.

To answer question 2...I'm so glad I haven't had to handle that situation. growing up is hard enough. I had little confidence, growing up, anyway. I cannot even begin to imagine how hard growing up transgendered would be. One thing I did have confidence in, was being feminine, so being unable to express that would have been horrendous.

love,
Curly(SO)

[Terri(SO)]

When I was a young girl, I used to wish I was a boy for a couple of reasons. I was not a rail-thin waif, was less than dainty so felt I was more masculine inclined and did not feel an affinity to femininity. I perceived a certain level of ease and freedom in boys lives that I did not feel was present in my own. Mostly, I did not think about it though.
As an adult, I always thought of myself as a feminist but not feminine. Perhaps somewhere in the back of my mind I thought the two were mutually exclusive (and I was still pretty chunky and clumsy too). Again, I didn't spend a great deal of time thinking about it since its not really a pressing topic among the general population.
Then I met and fell for a crossdresser. He pretty much taught me a new way to look at myself and the concept of femininity. Now I know for sure I'd rather be a woman. Being a man is too complicated.

About being transgendered. I have no idea. I don't understand it. I know it exists for many people but not living in their skin I feel I cannot KNOW what it feels like.

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

WOW..how could I have missed this thread..(or that book CJ...I have to read it).

Yes, I have thought about wanting to be a man but maybe for like a day like the book implies. I LOVE being a woman so I don't think I'd want to be stuck in the male role forever.
As a young child, all my heroes I identified with were men. I used to wear boys clothes often because I thought they looked cool and only dressed in a skirt on a special occaission (like once a year).
It wasn't until I was a teen when I started to try on form fitting girls clothes that I thought "hey, this looks good ,I should have tried this look years ago".
In my adult years, I wear whatever I please whether it's men's shirts, ties, cologne, boxer briefs or whatever...as long as my female body shows through, it looks sexy.
Don't get me wrong, I wear plenty of women's clothes too...but I do like to gender bend occaisionaly.
I don't think I'd make a good king because I have small head, hands, stature etc...plus I love my hair long and makeup.
I like mixing the two gender looks together but I'm not a believable king or anything (think dietrich not KD).

I'm not sure how I would handle being a male born crossdresser.
Probably, poorly. I would have alot to work out.
It's too difficult to say. It's like asking "How do you think you would handle...?" any other situation...I could only idealize but the truth is..I haven't a clue?

[SilverLady(SO)]

I do have to agree with Curly, Terri, and Lefty's comments - -

I thoroughly enjoy being a GG, especially with all the femininity (and sexiness) that normally comes with the gender. I'm doing a 'self-inflicted higher maintenance routine' for similar reasons as Curly - I take pride in myself and I know I look good. As the saying goes, "If you've got it, flaunt it!"

Did I ever think about being a guy when I was younger? Yes, I did, but I didn't remember doing so until reading Terri and Lefty's responses, and I'm still envious about guys not normally needing so much time to get showered and dressed - no 'primping' time required. ::hmpf:: However, I still would not trade it all in to become a man!

This is a great thread, Donna, thanks for starting it.

CJ - I have to find that book, it sounds like a great one to read!




- SL

[Raven(SO)]

First of all CJ, i would like to read that book...

Donna T
1st Qustion:
When I was younger I always wished I would have been born a guy. I mean thay didnt have breasts, thay got to have short hair and thay didn't have to dress to the nines to get a date. I always wore boys cloths and I even wonderd what it would be like to be anaotomically male. I think I may have had some gender issues & probably still do.

2nd Qustion:
If i had been born a guy I think I would have enjoyed it. I mean if i was a guy, with a diffrent personality. i mean right now I think if I was born a guy I would be gay because as a woman i am attracted to men so I dont think I can answer correctly.
I have never been very girly so I dont think I would want to be a woman, if i was born as a man. I hope this helps Donna T.

Raven (SO)

[CJ]

Hi all,

Hmmm... methinks I see a trend here. That trend is this: it looks as though those GG's that have responded have wondered about what it would feel like to be a man not because of what it meant in terms of being a man but because of what it meant in terms of not being a woman (no high maintenance routine as regards to looks, for example).

Donna, if I may--I'm no GG but I find this thread too scrumptious to resist. I may not be the most unbiased source because most of my friends are feminist women (and so this very topic has come up often in the course of our conversations) but I've known many women who've at least wondered what it would be like to be a man... many more than men I know who've wondered what it would be like to be a woman.

It seems to me there's a difference between the two as to the nature of that wonder. Often men wonder about sexual experience as a woman whereas women wonder about social experience as a man. I know this is a broad generalization but it holds true for many people I know. Men wonder what it must feel like to make love as a woman or to ramp up their sex appeal; women wonder what it must be like to have a certain amount of social power, of control--however illusory--that comes from being a man (although I'm not ready to deny that many women must also wonder what it's like to make love as a man).

My own two cents' worth: we're coming into an age where such wonder will be made slightly redundant. More and more women are experiencing "social power" (unrelated to their appearance) and more and more men are becoming "image-conscious" and "image-focused" (the rise in health and beauty products sales for men is one indication of this) and are experimenting with their looks in ways that are unrelated to their social status.

I realize I threw a monkey wrench in this thread by posting about the book mentioned above; the fact is, being a man, in any but the strictest sense, and having a penis aren't the same thing (as quite a number of us here will be willing to testify, I bet! ). Still, Donna's questions are great ones and I, for one, am very eager to see where the GG's take this.

As for the book, I heartily recommend both it and its companion volume. They're great collections of essays, poems, and short stories about this ultimate "otherness" that the complementary sex is and about the desire to participate in that otherness.

Love,
CJ

[Absaroka]

I thought CJ's comments were very interesting.

Some time ago I read a book where a similar question was posed and I asked a bunch of my friends of both sexes about it. The question was different however in that it was that if for some reason it was to be found neccesary for you to live the rest of your life as the opposite sex how much financial compensation would you consider fair.

Men typically responded that it would be a large sum, in the millions, to compensate for the difficulties they would encounter. Women on the other hand typically responded that you could not pay them enough to be man, but what they were saying was that they could not be compensated enough to give up being a woman.

Most of the women I asked were mothers. DOn't know if that had anything to do with it.

Absaroka

[Georgia(SO)]

I'm just now getting a chance to answer DonnaT's question and here CJ and Absaroka have gone and upped the ante...

My original answer was that if I could be male for just one day, yeah, it would be an interesting sociology experiment. Just curious. But no, there really is nothing in me that would make me want to be anything but a woman.

Then CJ notes that women don't seem to approach this question from a sexual point of view. Never even occurred to me. Now that you mention it, though, I suppose it would be interesting to see what it feels like ... uh... to have your equipment in a sexual encounter. But for keeps? Nope. Still like being a woman.

Then Absaroka mentioned motherhood. Gotta tell you ... after 4 kids - all grown now, there still is nothing quite like the moment that tiny little thing stirs in your belly,nothing like nursing your baby. Wouldn't trade it for the whole world and all the male-based social power in the world!

-g

[Gardenia_SO]

Hi DonnaT:

Good questions!

Although there are times that I think that it would be easier to be a man, I'm glad that I was born female. I work in a very male-dominated industry, which can be difficult at times. I also think it would be a lot easier if I didn't have all the things that come with having female parts. Childbirth scares the %$#^@ out of me.

That said, I think that I would be very different if I were a man, and I like who I am. I love men, have lots of male friends and live with the best guy in the world. Still, I love being a girl and wouldn't change if I could.

If I had been born a male, I don't know if I would have been transgendered from child to adult, so I can't say for sure how I would have handled it. I probably would have sought counseling and tried to figure out who I was and what I really wanted out of life. I would seek out others struggling with the same issue (assuming that I could find them--being a child of the 80's, I probably wouldn't have found any).

Again, great questions! You really made me think...

-Gardenia

[Jeannie]

Hello ladies and gentlemen or whatever. I know this question was for you real women not us bootleg gals, but I have to throw my two cents in. I'll probalyget blasted but that's OK. I'm 55 and can take anything thrown at me at this point in my life.
There are tranvestites,drag queens, intersexed,transexuals and crossdressers. Am I leaving any group out? Almost all transvestites are gay,as are drag queens and transexuals are real women or men born in the wrong body.Correct ladies?Crossdressers are supposedly a group far removed from them. They are just getting in touch with there female sides. Correct?
In my mind that is BS. They are no more Female than you GG's are male. The way I feel there is a typically male conponent connected with there dressing that is sexual. I read some some posts on another forum and they were talking about if they masturbated while dressed most couldn't wait to take their female clothes off. If they really felt like a woman,dressed like a woman they would not feel like that. Me. I love to dress like a woman. I love putting on makeup, feeling feminine and looking pretty but I'm a man. Is it sexual for me? It was was when was young but now It's like sucking my thumb. Comfort and peacefullness. Do I like women? Yes. But I also like men. I'm definately bi sexual.
Most crossdressers want to make love with their mates and lots are submissive. That is not the feelings of most heterosexual men. My feeling is go with the flow. If your gay, bi-sexual so what. You have to true to yourself. This might be a bit raw but have any of you GG's been asked to use a strap-on on your mate? If not ask him and see what HE thinks.
I hope I didn't offend anyone . I had only good intentions. Then again the roadto Hell is paved with good intentions.Big hugs!

Love
Jeannie


PS. Lefty. You have to know by now where I'm coming from. Sweetest of the sweet. I would rather be hated for who I am than liked for who I am not. The truth will set you free. You can't be true to anyone else unless your true to yourself. After 55 years in the closet I finally know who I am and it feels fabulous. You're beautiful lefty. Inside and out! Love you always "Oh Little Jeannie"

[Virginia]

Jeannie,
Honey, I won't blast you other than to say I hope you can enjoy your "Magical Mystery Tour."
Virginia is loving hers!
There are things of which you know not! Just hope Jeannie can keep it between the ditches!
Virginia

[Kay(SO)]

You sound exactly my DH. He has told me how is was in the past, what it's like now and eludes to the fact that he would like for me to be the "man" in bed but he won't come right out and ask me to. I think he's waiting for me to offer. That day will never come however because it's not something I am interested in doing. Not that I want to deny him or be cruel. It's that it's just something I can't or choose not to offer him. I've done many, many things with and for him as a result of him being a CD'r but, that one would be outside of my comfort zone. An issue that it brings up for me though is that I'm left wondering if he wants to be with a "real" man sexually and just not telling me. Also, how do I know that he hasn't already been? This is when things get tough for some of us SO's...I'm left to merely try not to wonder and to trust that he hasn't or he would have told me about it. Hey, if you can't be honest and be who you are, what's the point? Good post,

Kay(SO)