Far Warning to All about our Fathers

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:22 pm

Afternoon Everyone:

I must make a statement in far warning to all.

If you have a wall between yourself and your father please do everything humanly possible to correct it.

With our past and our other side, most of us I think would have a wall between us and our parents mainly our father.

I know I did, I had planned to correct many of the unsaid things and pains that were between my father and myself. I was at his bedside when he passed but with him already in pain and having problems I could not add the stress of my problems with him at that time. So when he died there in my hands, I had many regrets of not bringing them up many years before and doing away with them. I would have had a much better live and would have even had more love and peace for my father if I would have.

I do not have the words to express myself on this matter in a way to combell everyone to get right with their loved ones each and everyday before we go bed.

Love to you all Gee

Stephanie Brooks · Post by **Stephanie Brooks** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 5:30 pm

I can understand your sentiment. For those situations where reconciliation is possible, I would agree.

Sometimes the trouble is on the other side where there's no respect and no desire to reconcile. Sometimes there are situations where it is best to leave and move on with your life.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Tue Feb 28, 2006 11:04 pm

Very well said Gee.

Absaroka

Gelinda · Post by **Gelinda** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:20 pm

Stephanie: I agree with you but you will know that you did all you could to correct the problem, an in that case then you should not have any regrets.

Gee

Elizabeth · Post by **Elizabeth** » Wed Mar 01, 2006 4:29 pm

Hi Gee,

My father died on April Fool's Day 2002, which seemed somewhat fitting to me. I had not spoken to my father since 1992 and really have no regrets at all. I know that when he was dying my older brother asked him if he wanted to talk to me or my other brother before he died and he said "they are men now, they don't need me".

Sometimes we are forced to accept that we do not choose to be born, or who our parents are. Some people just don't have good parents. My parents were emtionally, physically, and sexually abusive. I include my mother in the sexual abuse because she knew about it and not only permitted it, but had two more daughters for him to abuse, after she knew.

Some of us do not need to reconnect with our parents. We need to have the courage to not allow them to harm us more. In my case, that would have been an eventuality. Some people are poison, even those who are supposed to love us. What is most difficult, is that we are indoctrinated that our parents may commit illegal and immoral acts against us, and we should automatically forgive them, because (And I have heard this a jillion times) "Well? they are your parents", like this is some excuse that deserves forgiveness.

I know that we are trained that we are supposed to maintain the family unit no matter what has transpired, but I must respectfully disagree.

Love always,
Elizabeth