Irish Humor

[SilverLady(SO)]

One day, an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over ten years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly, there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar." "Ten years", replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit, and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He took one cigar, light it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey?", asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years." Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket there, and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" stated the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!"

[Virginia]

It wasn't me, I swear it!
Virginia

[KathyB]

I never saw it coming

[Jeannie]

Two Irishman are out in the middle of a lake fishing. One snags something and pulls it up and It's a bottle. He opens it up and out pops a genie. The genie says"I'll grant you one wish" One say's"I wish the lake were beer." "Granted " said the genie and disappears. He looks over to his friend and says " Now what do think of that?" His friend replies"I think your an As-----! Now we have to p--- in the boat!"

Love
Jeannie