Mudville

Post by **DonnaT** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:06 am

A couple of weeks ago I told my wife about the coming TG Pride weekend in Richmond, and she'd ask every so often whether I had made reservations at the hotel yet, and I'd answer "Not yet."

Last night, during our walk, she asked again, and I told her that I had decided to go. She then asked if I was going to take that Friday off, and I answered "Yes."

She asked why, and I told her that the event started with a party at the hotel at 5PM and then a dinner at the club at 8:30 followed by a pool tournament.

Now, what did I say that got her mad?

She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, and last night, as I snuggled up to her, she told me not to. She then said we'd have a major talk and I'd have to make a decision.

Sounds like an ultimatum is coming, and as y'all know, I can't separate myself from Donna.

Doesn't sound like there will be any joy in Mudville tonight.

Post by **KimberlyS** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:38 am

Best of luck in talking with your wife Donna.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:06 am

Donna, maybe it was just the words "pool tournament". Maybe just feels left out, I do hope you entend to take her along?.

Carol Ann

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 11:34 am

Hi Donna,
You know where I live you have my number. I am sorry that it may come to the "look into the mirror." Honey, you know I am here for you so don't be bashful - you know if there is ANY THING I can do!!!
It is only a week away, hope you can still make the trip, but if not I will understand but if you do and you need a shoulder to cry on I am here for you! If you don't want to share on the forum, you can PM me or call anytime at night. I hope that this will have an outcome that will be in your best interest
Please keep me in your thoughts as I will you!!!
Love,
Virginia

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:48 pm

Hi, Donna -

Why is the SO upset? My guess is that (1) you are taking the day off work to attend a fun-filled weekend for Donna, (2) she's not really happy with the idea of Donna in the first place - it seems that the SO just 'tolerates' Donna only because she wants 'the man', and (3) you're going away for the weekend doing something to which she is not invited and/or cannot attend (due to work or whatever). I

for a positive outcome for you in Mudville tonight.

I know that if I was able to attend with my girlfriend, you can bet your last dollar that I'd be there with bells on!! But, then, not every GG is so supportive of their CD - - what a damn shame. And before you ask, Donna - - I am not available for you, and I *know* my girlfriend is not willing to share me with you or anyone else, either!!

Love and Hugs, my friend!!

- SL

Amelie-Laveau · Post by **Amelie-Laveau** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:00 pm

I am so sorry to hear this Donna, I hope you and your wife can fix the situation. You are such a nice, caring person, I hope your wife can see this.

As far as why your wife feels upset. Being TG is not always looked upon favorably by others, it takes a lot of understanding and caring for someone to fully accept a TG spouse. It may be too much for her to handle, not everyone can handle a TG spouse. But I do hope that you and your wife seek some kind of happiness together.

You are a good person, Donna. I'm sure your wife sees this as well.

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:50 pm

Donna -

After I posted earlier today, this matter was still on my mind and my girlfriend and I talked about it this afternoon.

Until the past 6 months or so, it was rare for your SO to let Donna out of the house dressed - correct? She's probably regretting 'allowing' you out because let's face it, once you're 'out' you'll never be content to stay 'in' and hidden from sight. She's now trying to pull you back inside, and an example of this is when she wouldn't let you dress after work for that get-together in Crystal City with Gracie.

I don't think I'm off-base in my way of thinking here, and I do hope that you and the SO can work this out - - and that you will be allowed to attend the TG Pride weekend with her blessings!

- SL

Post by **DonnaT** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:24 am

Thanks everyone.

Seems she was upset because I was taking a day off to go. Don't know why she couldn't tell me that during the walk or why she needed to wait a day.

Note that I usually ask her to go with, and she's gone. But the last time she indicated that she wasn't comfortable going anymore, so I knew she wouldn't want to. Sometimes she'll do things she's not comfortable with just because I ask. So, no I didn't ask and she told me tonight that that wasn't the reason she was upset.

So things are cool again.

Oh, and I know she'd rather I didn't go at all. She'd rather none of this occurred. But she also wants me to be happy, as long as I don't go overboard nor do it around Northern Virginia. I've been out once in 94, twice in 95 and twice this year. So, she's not going to ask me not to go unless she thinks I'm taking things too far, or it interferes with our time together.

CJ · Post by CJ » Fri Mar 31, 2006 8:46 am

Hi all,

Donna,

Cool. That's a bit of a relief. I realize I was holding my breath, there, for a day or so.

You seem to have a fairly harmonious relationship with your wife. That's awesome. I hope you have fun when you go. Bring her back a little something, eh? Just so she knows that, although TG Pride is "Donna time," you're still thinking of her.

Love,
CJ

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:01 pm

Donna, honey!!!

now the bad news - that hurts my feelings that she was uncomfotable with Virginia!!! I felt she was well maybe not comfotable but somewhat relaxed with me! I tried to make her feel comfortable, but we all know it isn't easy for them and we can appreciate that! So if you can tell her Virgina said hello and that I would love to see her again sometime!
See you next Friday - now what to wear what to wear!!!!!!!
Love ya,
Virginia

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:21 pm

Virginia Sweetheart, CLOTHS, clothes of course.

oh I couldn't pass that one up

Carol Ann

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 7:42 pm

You are sooooooo bad, sweetie!!!! I guess you know at first that went right over this poor blond's head!!! No not my dress - your comment! I may be older and slower but uh? but? now I forgot what I was going to say!
Love ya,
Virginia

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Fri Mar 31, 2006 9:20 pm

Virginia, dearest - if we didn't like you so much, we wouldn't be teasing you!!

It was an itzy, bitzy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bikini that she wore.... or not?!?

- SL

Post by **DonnaT** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:12 am

Virginia wrote:now the bad news - that hurts my feelings that she was uncomfotable with Virginia!!! I felt she was well maybe not comfotable but somewhat relaxed with me! I tried to make her feel comfortable, but we all know it isn't easy for them and we can appreciate that!

Now what gives you the idea she was uncomfortable with you?

No, she was uncomfortable with me, referring to me as Donna and using proper pronouns. Then there's the restroom usage, etc. She had no problem talking to you or some of the other girls, rest assured.

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 2:23 pm

Hi Donna--
I wish you the best in all of this. I had thought that your wife's upset must have something to do with the day off, since the rest of the plan was already in place. But I'm also puzzled as to why she would want to hold on to that information for so long.

Taking a day off of work clearly shows that this is a priority for you. Maybe she remembered something in the past where she wanted you to take a day off, and you didn't feel it was warranted for what she wanted. Thoughts like that can come up suddenly and make one very upset.

Anyway, have a good time next week.