THE OFFICIAL: Bad Jokes Thread #1 ** LOCKED **

Jeannie · Post by **Jeannie** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:28 pm

What do you call a Mexican women with no legs? Consuelo.
Love Jeannie

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:24 pm

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'll go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet!"

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and, after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. Their first night there, she undresses, as he does. There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties and he in his birthday suit.

Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night.

The following night, the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on and he is in his birthday suit, except that on his erection he sports a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this...a black condom?

He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:15 pm

a little girl sees her Dad in the shower for the first time.

pointing at his nether regions she says

"Daddy what are those for?"

"Four!"

----
sorry

Susan

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Sat Apr 08, 2006 12:36 pm

Gene Pitney's coffin - made of Oak will take three weeks to make
but only twenty fours hours from Balsa

groans all around

Susan

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:15 am

Bad Pun

Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight.

These, of course, are only rounded figures.

LeftyRainbow(SO) · Post by **LeftyRainbow(SO)** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:26 pm

Two old men where sitting on a park bench .
The first old man says to the second "I think my backside has fallen asleep on this bench".
"I know" the second old man replies "I've heard it snore three times already!"

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:46 pm

Thanks for the great laugh, Lefty!!

- SL

Aeryn · Post by **Aeryn** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:01 pm

A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walk into a bar. the bartender looks up and says, "what is this, some kind of a joke?"

what's the difference between a lawyer and a carp?
one's a scum sucking bottom dweller and the other one's a fish.

what's the difference between God and a doctor?
God knows when he is playing doctor.

what did the buddhist ask the hotdog vendor?
make me one with everything.

how many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

goodnight, you've been a great audience.

Susan · Post by **Susan** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:16 am

That reminds me of a very old joke.

Q - How many hetero male San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb

A - both of them

Susan

Carolynn · Post by **Carolynn** » Fri Apr 14, 2006 9:08 am

Woman opens here refrigerator and finds a bunny inside, just sitting there.

I surprise, she asks "What are doing in here?"

Bunny says, "this is a Westinghouse isn't it?"

Woman, "Why yes it is. So what?"

Wascally Wabbit says, "So I'm just westing."

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:34 pm

LOL !!!

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 11:37 pm

Vanna White was constipated. She couldn't have a vowel movement!

(insert groaning here)

Lorna · Post by **Lorna** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:13 pm

Did you hear about the woman who sat on an exploding toilet seat?

Disaster.

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Mon May 15, 2006 11:14 pm

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed.

"An ambulance just drove by."

A few moments later: "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike....."

A few moments later - "Looks like the Sanders are moving."

"Jason is on his skate board...."

A few more moments.... "The Coopers are having sex!!"

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously asked, “How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle, too."

Jeannie · Post by **Jeannie** » Tue May 16, 2006 8:50 am

My wife and I were talking about retirement and getting older the other day and I said"Minky. I hope I die before you." She relpied "Go ahead."

Love
Jeannie

PS. Do know why men usually die before their wives?

They want to.

Crossdressers-Haven.com

THE OFFICIAL: Bad Jokes Thread #1 LOCKED

Think about it!

Black Panties

Popsicle