Answering a question on visting assisted living.

[Jeannie]

One of you gals asked me what the management thought of Jeannie showing up at my Aunt Pearls assisted living residence. I told the managenment about me way before I showed up as Jeannie and they did not have a problem with it. Then again this is an out of pocket facility that costs $5000.00 a month and I am my Aunt Pearls power of attorney and pay all her bills so they better not give me any crap. Above all this is a business and they better treat their customers right or they will go somewhere else. I definately have the upper hand. The one that signs the checks!
I go there every day and everyone knows me. I grew up with my Mom, My sister,my Aunt Pearl and Aunt Clara. My Dad was always at work.They were my Mother Jennie's sisters and were great to me as a young boy. My Aunt Clara died of Alzheimers 8 years ago. I always remember when I was a young boy they would make me soft boiled eggs and cut toast into strips so I could dip them into the top of the eggs. They were nicer to me than my Mother ever was.. When my mother died 10 years ago I did not shed a tear. That's life.
My Dad died last year at 91 years young and we worked in a print shop for the last 40 years together. That day I picked him up as usual for breakfast. We went back to our shop to work. My sister Christine was down from Maine and made him his favorite for lunch broccoli rabe and sausage and at 1:oo he went swimming at The Boy's Club which is right across the street from out shop and he said to me" I'll see you in an hour" That was the last time I saw him alive. The director of the club came running over about 15 minutes later and said" John. Something happened to your Dad." I ran over and took over performing CPR on my Father that I learned in the Coast Guard but I knew he was gone. I loved my father and I couldn't bring him back. I can still feel his cold lips and see his dead face and that image haunts me till this day.

Love
Jeannie

[Virginia]

Jeannie,
I can only say that I know your Dad is as proud of his "daughter" as my mother is/would be of her daughter. I know your sisters on this forum are proud of you!!!
Keep the faith, dear!
Love ya,
Virginia

[SilverLady(SO)]

Jeannie -

Like you said, you hold the upper hand when it comes right down to it! Besides, management knows that you are there every day, and you could easily spread the word if they (management) disapproved of Jeannie. They would be asking for a discrimination lawsuit if they did - and you would win; they can't afford that type of bad publicity.

Another positive note - you probably bring a lot of joy and happiness into the lives of the residents, especially those that don't see their family any more or nearly as often. Residents that are happy are much easier to deal with - - I bet even those 'grumpy old men' look forward to seeing Jeannie every day, whether they will admit it or not. Who knows, maybe some of them were closet-CDs in their younger days!

Keep on doing the great work there, Jeannie - - and like Virginia said, I know your Dad is proud of you, and we are, too!!



- SL

[Jeannie]

Hi Silver Lady. I've had a history with nursing homes. My Mom was in one,two aunts,both my wifes parents and two uncles. My Aunt been in her assisted living for 2 years.
Her residence would make the best ever reality show on Television. There are four units where she lives with people of differant levels of care including low level Alzheimers residents. I would go in on friday nights and bring a movie. They always wanted old movies so one night I brought "Monty Python and The Holy Grail" They hated it. They complained through the whole movie. When I was leaving John,who is 89 and in a wheel chair called me over and said"Did you pay to rent that movie?" I said"Yes" He replied"They should of paid you" I almost died laughing Silver Lady.
John has been there for years and always says his family wants him to die so they can have his money. He said he is going to live until he is 100. People think the elderly are stupid. They're not! Every friday I would stop at Frankies which is a local fast food retaurant known for their hot dogs and would bring one for John and some curly fries. He loved them. He had to go to the hospital for a heart problem and I went to see him and the nurse said he shouldn't eat hot dogs anymore.
Everytime I go in now he wants a hot dog and I can't give him one. Is that nuts. The man is 89, in a wheel chair and on 20 meds a day. He is on his last stop at the station and wants a freaking hot dog. The worst thing that could happen is he would die with a smile on his face.
Another resident Leo wants a Scotch. I said me too.I'd love to work there but I would be fired in a week. I'd come around on a saturday night with a cart filled with hot dogs, steak,french fries,booze and pot and give them whatever they wanted. They are not coming out alive so give them whatever they feel like. Let them die happy.Those facilities should be fun not depressing. Those people are depressed enough. They just make it worse. They had a recreational therapist who was wonderful and full of life. She was wild and played the piano and organ but she left and they hired a woman who has the personality of an earthworm. She puts me to sleep. I try to make the Alzhiemers patients laugh. It's tough but if you get a smile it's worth it.
The hard thing Silver lady is you get to know all the people and one day you go in and they're gone. That's life I guess.Hugs

Love
Jeannie

PS. One night Mini.me and a resident Bill ,who recently died, were sitting on the couch in the TV room. Mini said" Bill .We have to go. It's late and I have to go to work tomorrow." Bill said" I have a job to." Mini said said"What is that Bill?"
He Replied "Farting on this couch" Silver Lady I was laughing so hard I was crying. They are a pisser.

[Virginia]

Well here it is Sunday morning and as what seems to be usual for me I am crying at reading these posts. My friend Brandi was working in a nursing home and she told me a story - just two lives intermingling. She said she went into a little old lady's room to get her ready for breakfast. Brandi said she was so cute. Anyway as she was getting her ready, she took an interest in the little dangly earrings that Brandi had on. "Those are so pretty!" she said. "Do you think my daughter would get me some for my birthday?" she was deadly serious, Brandi knew that her daughter came to visit her maybe once or twice a year and only lived a few miles away.
All Brandi could say is "I'm sure she will, sweetie!"
For God sake don't do this to our parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People say "we" those of us who choose to "dress with style" are bad, weird, evil. Who is the "bad guy" here??????????????? and you all know as well as I this is an "accepted" aspect of "our society." Let's prosecute what we don't understand (us) and let's throw the best parts of our society into "homes," so we don't have to see or deal with them.
There is an old adage, "either we learn from history or we are bound to repeat it." These people are our history and we can learn from them, but do we???
Now my mascara and make-up are all streaked, sorry about my rant???? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!
Virginia

[Jeannie]

What goes around comes around Virginia. Your children learn many differant things from their parents and sometimes we don't even realize we're teaching them. The parents that never see or visit they're elderly parents show their own kids how to treat the eldery. When it's their turn to be in that situation guess who won't ever get any visits from their kids?Every dog has it's day. Hugs

Love
Jeannie

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

Hi laidies,

Some of you may know that I work in a "long term care facility" as a recreation director. We actually have a 90 year old FTM TG resident. There is alot of pronoun mix up with the CNA's (because they bath him and see that some parts are missing) and I try to set them straight about the appropriate pronoun "he". We do have an unfriendly retired military man who has survived two wives and LOVES to get his nails done. He is a hoot.
Jeannie ,I was sure you'd have no problem visiting your aunt as long as the establishment remained professional (sometimes individuals can make a visit unpleasant even though the establishment has no problem with freedom of expression).
We also have a chapter of the red hat society and we let the men come if they want to attend (I wouldn't have it any other way...the mean old military guy comes down. He definately reminds me of a CD as he is incredibly masculine acting and sounding but loves feminine programs..LOL).

[Jeannie]

So far so good Lefty. Most I've found like me more as a woman than a man. Come to think of it Sweetness, the people who have found me unpleasant have been the women in my life. Oh well. You can't win them all.

Love
Jeannie

[DeeDee]

Maybe my comment is totatly irrelevent to this thread, but I feel that folks in nursing homes, hospices, etc or being cared for at home deserve the utmost respect. Many times people look at them as being dregs on society and try to make believe they don't exist. It does take a lot to help, sometimes you cry. Well, those people are why and how we have what we have now. So, if you show up in a chicken costume and they enjoy it..screw everyone else. One of the nicest things I see a lot (and sad at the same time) is how seniors react to "guest" dogs and cats. These people are still alive..they deserve our respect.
ok..fell off my soapbox..ouch
DeeDee

[Jeannie]

Hey DeeDee. Did I look like a chicken in that dress? Oh No. I thought I looked pretty cute. Back to the drawing board.


Love
Jeannie

PS When my Dad died last year I brought a picture of him as a young man and showed it to Mary,an Alzheimers resident. She said" Your Father was handsome" I said" What about me?" She looked at my face and said"Well. You're good looking in your own sort of way" It was great. How fast they turn on you DeeDee.
Alzheimers is a terrible disease but the only thing positive I can see is they won't remember all my lousy jokes. They're lucky!