What do you get out of it?

[KimberlyS]

I was going to put this as a response to Gwen's post on my "My femme time week" thread but I suddenly realized it could easy be a topic of its own.

And actually this is something that has been going through my head for along time, and a lot recently. A statement I recently made in my last counseling session was:

"You just do not know how it feels."

I wish I could put a full handle on it, but here is a start. For me, being dressed in femme clothes:

Relaxes me.
Calms me.
Gives me a fell of comfort.
Revives me.
I get a sense of internal peace, joy, contentment.
I do enjoy the feel of femme clothes. They are comfortable.
Sometimes they just feel part of me when wearing them.
I like wearing male clothes.
They are so simple. Throw then on and go.
In femme clothes I get a sense/feel of being me.
I also feel me in male clothes.
I do not feel these are two different parts of me.
There is just one me and they are both me.
Just sometimes me want to look or feel differently.
At times being enfemme in some level of allows my mind to veg.
At times being dressed allows me to momentarily escape my male responsibilities.

I do not feel/get all of these every time I dress and there does not seem to be a relationship with the feeling or what I get and how I dress.


So how does your dressing make you feel or what do you get out of it?

KimberlyS - CD

[Lydia]

Hi KimberlyS,,

"get a sense of internal peace, joy, contentment.
I do enjoy the feel of femme clothes. They are comfortable.
Sometimes they just feel part of me when wearing them. "

Those three lines struck me closely. I find I can work at the computer better - I still write progress reports, etc. - when dressed. I play piano a bit (badly), but I find that I play with more expression when dressed. When my SO comes here for dinner, I cook much better en femme, and feel much more at ease.

As for shopping: never done it en femme, but I have bought femme things at Target, etc. BTW, your mall sounds very much like mine here with a Target, Penney, Sears, K-mart, all within a stone's throw of each other. I guess they are the same all over the world.

We ARE a curious bunch here and sometimes don't quite understand ourselves.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Paulie]

I second Lydia's response.

To use some lyrics from an Eagles song.." I get a peaceful, easy feeling".

Another thing I really love is all the choices women have in clothes. From undies to shoes, there is nothing comparible in the mens section. I love to be able to change my look with my mood and have such a wonderful choice of colors, prints, and fabrics.

But, mostly, it's just who I am and I enjoy dressing far too much to ever stop.

[Kira Dias]

Free! I feel so free!

[Sally]

It's been years since I sat down and had a discussion with a therapist, because once I was 'passed' for SRS and had my papers signed I ceased all contacts with psycs, as I only ever consulted them to conform with the medical and legal requirements. Although I never took the final step it was still nice to have what I knew to be true confirmed by so called 'experts'.

I will always remember one particular therapist asking me to describe in my own words how I felt living visibly as a female as compared to livng as a male. I gave her all the usuals e.g. relaxed, comfortable, it felt right etc etc, but none of those ever completely gave a true impression of how it really felt so she could experience the exact same feeling. The best way I could describe it to her so that she would be able to 'feel' what I was saying rather then just hear it was this;..I said that dressing and living as a male felt similar to the feeling one gets when they are in a room full of people who you don't particularly like and who make you feel very uncomfortable and irritated, but, living as a visible female feels like walking from that room into another room full of people who you love and love you, and you feel very much at home with them and walking into that room makes all your inhibitions wash away, it just gives you that warm fuzzy feeling that all is well. I think we've all experienced those two scenarios at times in our life, we may not be able to find the right words which do each scenario justice, but I think even those not of our ilk know the feelings I'm referring to.

I asked her if she was able to imagine in her minds eye how those two examples would feel to her and she said she could think of having previously been in those situations and most certainly feel within herself how the two scenarios differed, and she said that she would agree that every adult person had probably experienced both of those scenarios at some time in their life.

That was the best way I could think of which would convey how I felt within myself, and it still applies today.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[KimberlyS]

Thank you Lydia, Paulie, Gwen, Kira, and Sally for you comments. Keep them coming everyone as I know there are more out there.

Sally, I can so relate to your example.

KimberlyS-CD

[Carol Ann]

I would have to say it's something I have always wanted. Growing up was very hard with no father and I wasn't very happy with who I was. Now in life I feel that this is me what I always wanted and now I have it. Being dressed in a pretty dress with my makeup and wig it just feels right to me. Thank God for a wife who understands and gives me a free hand.

[Rose Darn]

Kimberly
It seems that we as CD'ers share much of the same feelings when dressed fem. But, I think that Sally may have hit the mark. It's as much how I feel when I don't have to deal with some other feelings that are related to male gender that I can excape for a short time. Free, like Kira.
Rose

[Jabbela]

Expanding the topic of this thread just a bit.
I have a drive to crossdresss (i assume you too - otherwise you wouldn't do so). So what i get out of it is, what drives me to do so.

In my personal case, I simply recognized that in my personality there is a big female portion. I don't know, where the balance of male and female portions is - 50/50???. I don't mind.

I also have got the feedback from my big love, that she quite often feels and considers me as female - even when I am not dressed (to be true: even when undressed- ). I regard this as a big compliment and she loves the diversity of my personality.

So my crossdressing is driven by the desire, to show and express the female portion of my personality to the world (if i only have the courage to do so...) by my appearance.

This is also reflected by the fact that "passing" is more important to me than looking as a sexy lady.

So - back to the topic: whenever I "passed", I fulfilled my desire to be treated as the woman, that is already inside my soul and heart. This is, what I get out of it.

[Lorna]

I feel so free and so uninhibited this way. I feel as if I can express every aspect of myself that I feel is bottled up when I'm en drab.

I feel more attractive. I feel more confident. I feel like no obstacle is too great. I feel more desired. I feel loved.

[Laycee]

My rational reasons are - comfort, and choices. I am jealous that GG's have way more choices as to what's available to them . Comfort needs no explanation.

My other reason is escape. When I am dressed en-femme, I totally block out my male side and anything that may be bothering my male side at the time. I am fully aware that these issues will never disappear by putting on a dress and that I must eventually deal with them but "Laycee" has no issues.

[Rony]

I can only dress when on travel working a job, at the end of the day and not everything went as planned, I can dress and leave all that behind, it does not go away, but it isn't my problem. At least until the next day.
If I have paper work to do I turn it over to my personnel secratary (sp). She handle email responses and edit documentation for the project.
By the way Rony is my secratary.

[Absaroka]

I've written a lot about various aspects of what do I get out of it elsewhere so I won't repeat it. If I had to sum it all up in one sentance it feels like my clothes are giving me a hug.

Absaroka

[Shari Ann]

I like metaphores. Let me try one of my own to explain how I feel when I dress.

On the day of the Kentucky Derby a few years ago Willard Scott interviewed the two queens of the race. (I think that was their title.) Now these two were Asian and had stereotypical Asian features. If you wanted to film Hong Kong or someplace like that in the middle of Nowhere USA, you'd want these two ladies in it.

Well, when they answered Willard's questions, they had these thick Kentucky drawls. The kind you would imagine somebody might have if their family had lived in Kentucky for 10 generations. My first instinct was that the drawl was totally out of place. But then I realized that their physical features spoke to an ancestry they were probably rightfully proud of, while the drawl spoke to their immediate life experiences.

If they hadn't spoken you could have assumed all sorts of things about how they spoke and how they were raised. But that Kentucky drawl gave you some insight into them that you otherwise couldn't have gotten. They'd obviously been living in Kentucky since they were very little, perhaps their whole lives.

For me, this male body of mine would lead you to all sorts of assumptions about me. But when you see me dressed you can't help but realize that there's a dimension to me that you might not have been aware of otherwise. I would nor more stop dressing than they (I would hope) would try to lose their Kentucky drawl.

[Absaroka]

It was a beautiful fall day today. The very temperature of the air was sensual. I went out on the porch and just sat, feeling completely content with life. No need to do anything, just sit and enjoy.

I was in male mode with the family home. There are a bunch of things that give me that feeling. Cding is often one of them.

A feeling of contentment.
Don't really know why.

Absaroka