Dog vs Cat.

[Curly(SO)]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!
9:40 a.m. A walk in the park! Ate some crap...Delicious!
10:30 a.m. Getting rubbed and petted! I'm in love!
12:00 p.m. Lunch! Yummy!
1:00 p.m. Playing in the yard! I just love it!
3:00 p.m. Staring adoringly at my
masters...they're the best! I'll wag my tail in joy.
4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids are home! I'm bouncing off the walls!
5:00 p.m. Milkbones! Great!
7:00 p.m. Get to play ball! This is too good to be true!
8:00 p.m. Wow! Watching TV with my master! Heavenly!
11:00 p.m. Sleeping at the bottom of my master's bed! Life is soooooooo great!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 683 of My Captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow--but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant-- I observe him communicating with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe-- for now. But I can wait. It is only a matter of time...

[Jeannie]

You have to go with the flow Curly. So I was thinking about all the great things about being transgendered and came up with my top ten. Here we go ladies:

10. If you and your daughter are the same size you can borrow each others clothes.

9. If your out and about and are confronted by a group of drunken,rowdy men you can say"You wouldn't hit a lady now would you?"

8. My biggest worry everyday is if I break a nail.

7. I get to name my cat Fluffy.

6. I can dance better than Tina Turner in 3 inch heels.

5. Men always open doors for me because they feel bad for"That ugly
chick"

4. My only fear each month is UMS. Ugly mood swings.

3.I never have to worry about an OBGYN exam each year.

2. My dream date is a dominant,bisexual woman that's Jewish. Whoa! She can do me all night long and then in the morning we can go to the spa,have our nails done and then go shopping and buy some new drapes! Sweet!

And the number one best thing Curly:

1. If your with an understanding partner(Fat Chance!) and she finds rolled up pantyhose and a bra in your pickup truck there's no need to make up a story!

Hugs


Love
Jeannie

[Danette]

Hi Curly,
That wouldn't surprise me a bit if thats what goes through thier minds.

Hugs,
Danette