How many of your closest friends know about your CD

Cathii · Post by **Cathii** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 12:01 am

As you know Penny, anyone that is important to me knows about me, and given the way I dress in boymode probably anyone that looks at me will know. The thing is, I compromised my life for far too long by hiding the real me, and now if there is compromise to be made, then it is someone elses turn.

Coming out can be an amazingly selfish thing to do, but there are a lot of selfless people willing to accept who you are. Well there is in my world anyway.

Cathii

Jess(SO) · Post by **Jess(SO)** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:48 am

Talk is a wonderful thing if it’s open and honest, when we overcome our fears and sit down in an open honest discussion we can often find that our fears and worries are unfounded. We can often build a false picture of how we believe someone will receive ‘our news’ and what their reaction will be, many times it’s the opposite to what we expect. If we don’t ask we’ll never ever know, but it all gets back to who needs to know and if anyone does at all. Each situation varies and needs to be dealt with on a need to know basis, and the needs of each of us. It does take courage to tell, but on the other hand most of us at some time in our life live with fear and from fear courage is born.

sally

Jess

Bernice · Post by **Bernice** » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:06 pm

My wife knows, you know, one other forum knows, one nameless faceless e-mail address (not forum-related) knows, a few from a now defunct forum know, two ex girlfriends and one male friend from over 30 years ago know (if they even remember), and my mother has forgotten (or assumes I grew out of it - as she so demanded). My cat knows. Of the people who could identify me in a police lineup, only my wife and the cat know. Of people who know my real name, perhaps a half dozen.

It's likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future. Too much stress in my life already. Selfish? Perhaps. Killing me softly? Not as quickly as other factors, it seems. Sure, I'd like to be out. It's getting there that might kill me. Until end of this coming November, I have a job, and after that, we will really need Debbie's income, so I'll just stay in the closet. Maybe after mother passes away. Time will tell.

Friends? Of course I have them. But except for my friends here on this forum and one other, I have not told any of them. But then, I consider my friends here on this forum to be among my closest friends, the few with whom I can openly discuss literally ANYTHING.

Hugs,

Bernice[/b]

Lydia · Post by **Lydia** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 6:54 am

My situation is much like Bernice's. My SO knows (and supports), all the sisters on this forum know. I don't have a cat or a dog. No children or known relatives.

I would like to be "out", but there are too many people in town who know me - professionally as well as socially. However, the urge to be "out" is not very strong, so I can deal with it - as long as I have an understanding partner.

Sometimes I wish I had nearby CD friends, but there would have to be strong mutual trust for that. The nearest Tri-ess is too far away.

However, I have a closet full of pretty clothes, and I can be dressed while at home or at my SO's. Being retired (though still busy) I can arrange my schedule to fit my personal habits. I really have nothing to complain about.

This is actually my alter ego, and I have another internet contact and address which will remain private - along with my age.

Participating in this forum has been not only a delight but educational, and satisfying to the feminine part of my ego. Thanks to all.

Hugs

Lydia

CJ · Post by CJ » Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:10 am

Hi all,

Bernice wrote: My cat knows.

Bernice,

If your cat is anything like ours, he not only knows but passes judgment on your sense of style.

I mean, the creature just sits there and stares disapprovingly at me as I slip on a pair of strappy high-heeled sandals... even though I'm wearing nylons or pantyhose.

I think the only part of me the cat would be able to identify in a police lineup are my feet. Or perhaps my knees.

Love,
CJ

Valerie · Post by **Valerie** » Wed Oct 04, 2006 10:27 pm

My wife knows,but would rather not know,

. If I had to tell anyone else,it would be a few close relatives/friends I have in mind,but only if I needed to have someone to talk with. I believe they would understand or at least accept it and still love me. Lots of times I think about telling them, but it seems like I am always busy ( or they are ) to find the time to get together. So till then I just stay " in the closet " and be glad of the times that I have the chance to CD,even if my wife ignores me at those times,

.

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 8:11 am

My wife knows a little, not that much, and I suspect would rather not know that much more.

An ex girlfriend years ago knew a little, but she is no longer alive. Another good friend knows a little-we were trading secrets about sexual stuff years ago. Only ever discussed it once.

My therapist knows-he's not a friend for obvious reasons. My sponsor (12 step program) knows but less obviously, although we hang out and could be considered friends in many ways I told him in a capacity other than that of friend.

Obviously all the people here know and at first even telling anonymous strangers in e- land was hard. But since people here know me only through the forums I can't really count that under the close friends knowing. The forums are a funny thing. I've gotten a lot from them and hope I have given something in return but still it's e-land.

Only the sponsor and therapist know the extent of my CDing.

Absaroka

Bernice · Post by **Bernice** » Thu Oct 05, 2006 11:21 pm

CJ:

Not to hijack the thread, but my cat "Cosmo" is a "redneck". He only seems to care about food, attention, and going back outside. But since he is all black and Friday the 13th is coming, he will get to spend some quality time indoors, for his own protection. Ditto for Halloween.

Funny how usually he will jump on my lap for attention, but if I am wearing stockings or something made of sheer fabric, that's when he wants to climb a leg with his claws!

He really knows how to irritate Debbie, who is the biggest animal lover in the family, by ignoring her and sitting on my lap.

Then sometimes if I am laying down en femme, he comes and plants himself between my breasts, and buts his head against my chin for attention. This usually gets my attention!

But then, cats are as unique as humans.

Hugs,

Bernice

Alana · Post by **Alana** » Sun Oct 22, 2006 1:24 am

I can probably count on two hands the number of people that I have come out to. Other than my wife and daughter, only three of my family know. I have told several people at work.

I am pretty selective about who I tell. Am not ready for a general outing and may never be. However, in the last two years, I have told more people than I ever did in the previous 43 or so.

Alana