Feeling like this is free information for something greater?

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 2:20 am

Hi Kira--
You have reason to be cautious about who you give information to online--there are people who would like to exploit us, for sure. I'll go with what others have said--the moderators on this forum have been very careful to screen the people who appear on here.

Just don't feel bad about expressing your doubts--it takes some courage to do that. Penni's questions don't "press my buttons," but I've reacted to some other members who've appeared on here in the past, and it all got worked out. That's what communities are for, and we are a community.

Penni SO · Post by **Penni SO** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:26 am

Hi ya Kira,

I'm sorry that you felt I was prying,but as I have said before,getting everyone to talk about the issues that they face daily is an important way for others to learn.

I'm not writing a book or collating the info for anything.
Truth be known I just want you all too know that if you speak out,someone will listen,someone will identify and hopefully someone will be set free from the pain and hurt.Hopefully a spouse will be able to understand a little better,and hopefully we all will have a circle of trust when we need it.

I'm o.k I hope your o.k

Hugs Penni

Kira Dias · Post by **Kira Dias** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 9:34 am

Well, now that everyone has had their say, let me have mine. For those that have accused me of being concerned, congratulations for figuring it out

, as if it were being hidden. When you have the scars of someone outing you before you ever thought about being outed, yes, the antennas pick up something as small as strange breathing. For those that felt the need to ridicule, it is you that I wish to protect (CD's AND SO'S), why because this is the personal business of a individual/couple...not the world. Granted, we are all hoping that we receive the respect we deserve, whether closeted or open about or SIMPLE desire to dress in what we know as "women's clothes"; however, some people think we are worth exploiting for whatever ugly reason.

Virginia mentioned that she has been labeled something awful BY A DIVORCE ATTORNEY, understand that I have experienced the same thing (only I was fortunate enough to be called names in the presence of my unknowing family ...while in a coma...from a suicide attempt). For those that took a swing, you never know why people react the way they do, until you piut you feet in their shoes and walk around in them. With that, do not tell me that I am wrong to care for all of you that share this special "trait" with me because I have to love you all, despite not ever having laid eyes on you. I want you all to be the "ladies/girls" (whether CD or a true SO) you are in fairness, peace, and happiness; because for the CD it is TOO HARD to figure out why we like to do what we do and harder to just accept that it will never change.

With that, I will continue to sniff for intruders, those that do not come to our house with open and maliceless palms. Why? Because WE have to look out for one another, all day and everyday because many do not know that most of us are just paying attention to who we really are and expressing it by way of our attire.

[/i]

Nina Femrite · Post by **Nina Femrite** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:29 pm

From my perspective, the questions and issues that Penni is bringing up are not those of a researcher but rather from someone who is struggling to understand complex personal issues between she and her husband. The key to understanding is the asking of questions and the listening to answers. I see them as very similar questions that any of our families may be seeking the answers to and, clearly, by witness to the shear number of responses, many of us struggle with.

On the other hand, who cares if Penni is writing a book? I doubt she is but she can verbalize eloquently and I'd bet she'd be able to find a publisher.

Penni, sweetheart, please continue to ask these important questions. I promise I will answer them as honestly as I can.

nina

Jamie Sue · Post by **Jamie Sue** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:44 pm

Kari, I understand your concerns about this subject, but I feel safe here.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:09 pm

Kari, you are such a sweetheart! All I can say is THANK YOU!
Love,
Virginia

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 9:36 am

I've done something wrong again, haven't i ?

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 12:26 pm

Kira I didn't think you were being unreasonable. They are all good questions that you asked.
I also didn't think there was a lot of unpleasantness in any of the replies.

Being outed against my will would make me absolutely furious, not to mention pretty untrusting. And if it was someone here who did it, the reality is there wouldn't be much that could be done about it given the nature of the internet.
Absaroka

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:22 pm

Kira,
See honey, you survived your trip to the woodshed!!!! I wondered if I would, but here I am and maybe a bit wiser. With my mouth I will probably be drug off again, but we learn and live and move on!
Keep the faith, darlin
We love you,
Virginia

Penni SO · Post by **Penni SO** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:30 pm

Hi ya all,

Kira was'nt saying anything unreasonable,everyone has the right to question why! including you all and the spouses of this community.

I'm a spouse that has read many stories written by crossdressers most of these I have felt the pain,some I have laughed and some I have sat in disbelief.
I ask the questions I do, purely for many reasons,firstly my own knowledge,for other spouses and for the crossdressers who have the questions on their lips but don't know how to ask.

I have already read here that teenagers 17 and up have made contact seeking advice.It is here my heart lies.Many of you went through the 50's, 60's,70's and yes the 80' and 90' living a completely total lie to your existence,the secret self lay within,fearful of being exposed.Most articles written in the 50's and 60's etc included answers like a course of shock therapy,or a good beating for the son will cure him.
What dark ages they must of been.
Teenagers today have so much more to cope with,some do not have a family nucleus,some are doing it on their own,jobs are highly competitive,and money for uni ,well not many people can put aside for that these days.Then we have the knowledge that within this crazy world we fear the terrorist.So you can see they have heaps to be concerned with and what I have listed is only the tip of the iceberg.
Sure Highschools are more accepting of Gender identity disorders and small groups of teenagers can group together and have a common bond.
However they still have to cope with all the emotional factors of being a CD or a person who feels they are in the wrong body.They will mature they will want to love someone ,they will want to have happiness and a sense of balance and worth in their life.They will want to reach their full potential.
Those of you that are wiser and older,though you have struggles for self acceptance and acceptance within your own community,have a duty of care to these younger men.Letting out the feelings you have is important,these younger men will be able to identify,talking about relationship matters will help these younger men prepare for their future when they do meet that someone special.
I know you must all think I'm raving crazy,indulging you in my own personal thoughts and questions,but truly I am not.
I'm tired of sitting in the background,not helping out within the CD community,I am tired of seeing many lives not reaching their full potential.I truly want to help.

I know everyones lives need to be protected,but you can use alias names etc when discussing your life.I have chosen not too,however that is my personal choice.
So please encourage the right to the freedom to ask why! and encourage those willing to tell their story by acknowledging you can identify.

Hugs Penni

SilverLady(SO) · Post by **SilverLady(SO)** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:08 am

Kari wrote:I've done something wrong again, haven't i ?

Kari, you haven't done anything wrong. Jamie Sue and Virginia inadvertently referred to Kira as Kari - a simple mis-spelling of the name. No trip to the woodshed for you this time, Kari!!

- SL

Jamie Sue · Post by **Jamie Sue** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:22 am

SilverLady(SO)

You are so right, I'm sorry

.

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:19 am

Bernice · Post by **Bernice** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:08 pm

Late to the party as usual...

I appreciate a healthy scepticism as a vital self-defense mechanism. My street smarts are clearly lacking - a result of having been antisocial for three decades while I learned to accept myself.

I tend to trust people who seem legitimate, until I am proven wrong. Sometimes I am loyal to people who deserve no such loyalty, with painful consequences as I learn their true colors.

Still, I appreciate Penni's questions because they make me think. I think if Penni were anything other than 100% sincere, she would be defensive to the challenges she has suffered here. Instead, she answers the charges with understanding and grace. Hopefully, the trial is over, and she is exonerated.

Hugs,

Bernice

Crossdressers-Haven.com

Feeling like this is free information for something greater?

Easy to say, if you have noty been outed

Penni's book