just post this in the other tread until I seen how much I had written.
So here begins a thread to add where you shop, cites, towns.
How do you shop enfemme or male mode.
Experiences tips and tricks for shopping for femme things.
Well where do I shop as a guy for femme clothes. Interestingly IAnita wrote: ... you're doing this in a different part of the country than the Bay
area makes me feel good. I hope to be traveling more in the next five
years, and I want to know what works and what doesn't work for people
in general.
My family members back in Ohio say, "That's all well and fine for San
Francisco, but it won't work here." Well, I'm not going to force it on
them, but I don't believe that. They're in one of the fastest-growing
suburban counties in the country, outside of Cincinnati--they've got some
transwomen there, too. I would probably be more careful there, but I'd
like to think that regional differences aren't set in stone.
recently posted something like this to a more local on-line group when
someone asked where I shopped. Well this is parts of that and more and
I have skipped a lot of the detail. I began that post by saying that
they are not going to like what I had to say.. I shop most anywhere.
So I guess you could say the following is Kimmy's shopping tips, tricks,
and comments in no real specific order.
Most of my shopping is done in male mode with very little of it in
femme mode. The following will apply to only in male mode. Sometimes
I may be wearing items of femme unisex clothes, but always presenting
my male self.
The main area of the country my shopping is done in is eastern Nebraska,
western Iowa, eastern South Dakota, and mid to south Minnesota. I have
shopped in places like Minneapolis, Mankato, Worthington, Brookings,
Watertown, Pierre, Sioux Falls, Mitchell, Sioux City, Omaha, Lincoln,
Kansas City and other small area towns down to 3,000 and less people.
Other places around the country such as Milwaukee, Phillidelphia, Phoenix and many more. I shop at places from the major chain stores to local area stores to mom/pop small stores, and one person speciality stores. And I love to shop the local second hand stores. And while I shop at stores in my area, I do not try much on except the more unisex items. If someone happens to see me shopping, I do not say anything or if they ask I am shopping for my wife, which lucky we are similar sizes, and at times I
am shopping for her so I am not lieing to anyone. But I have tried on
bras and forms in a very small town near me when the owner said she did
not know how the sizing went and I should just try some on and see what
fits. So I just went with the flow.
If the fitting rooms are un-maned I just go
into the mens side. If the fitting room is manned I let them decide
which side to take my things, and so far always the male side, but hey
I am presenting a male just trying on femme clothes. I usually try to put
the more feminine items in the middle or under something else and most ofthe time they do not even check, they just want to know how many. But I do get a few looks at times when I come out and hand them what does not fit. I just say thank you with a smile and continue my shopping. If in
a womans department I always ask if there is a place that I can try the
item(s) on and let them decide where to put me, and so far it has always
been in the fitting room in the area. But again it has always been slower
when I have been there. Even though we may have a right to try
things on we do not want to make other customers uncomfortable. Other
CDers say at times they have been asked to go over to the mens to try
things on, and this should not be a problem for you and you should
respect it.
If you do not want to deal with clerks asking to help you, do not go
to the stores that do not have them. But if you go to a store with
floor clerks, they are there to help you and make a sale. So if you
are going into a store to find clothes, have someone help you, try on
clothes, and use the clerks time, You need to be ready to buy
something. It does not have to be a lot or the whole outfit. But if
they are doing a good job of helping you, they deserve to make a sale.
If it does not fit, they do not have your size or they do not have
what you want that is a different story. Ask if there is another store
nearby that may have your size or a different store in the area. And I
alwasy tell them thank you when I leave the store. But do not become
known as the guy who tries on femme clothes and does not buy anything.
And plus everytime I am out being it in male mode shopping for femme
clothes or out enfemme, I consider myself in a position to help or
hurt the society view of CDers and TG's in general. So do not make the
evening news like a criminal. Put forward a good reputation, be a
good customer, nt, just another good person
in the crowd. Because I will bet most if not all of the time when
some one sees me shopping in the ladies department, they do not think
CDer, they think more along the line of, nice of him to do the
shopping for her, or he is getting some for her or a present for her.
This in turn makes the image of a guy shopping there ok.
Other CDers have said to call ahead to the place you want to go to,
ask for a manager and explain you are a CDer and and would like to do
some shopping there, and the the mode of dress you would like to come
in and ask when would be a good time to come in. If they have any
problem, do not shop there, and select another place.
Dress respectible no matter what the mode of dress. You should look
similar to the other shoppers in the store. Act confident, but not
cocky, and repect the other customers, and you should have a good
shopping experience. And actually quit often, the other customers
will talk to me or ask a question about something they
have pulled out and are looking at, and I have learned to ask them
questions. When a clerk asks if you need help it is ok to say yes.
Believe it or not they can help you and often seem to enjoy helping
guys, and not always just the younger ones.
Other tips that I used to start with. You are shopping for her. Let
them assume who her is. Have what you want written down on a list
with sizes, colors or any other details that you may specifically
want. When someone asks to help, pull out the list or refer to the
list you are holding. If a store has carts get one, even if you are
only planning on getting one thing. It gives you something to hold on
to. Start small if you are really nervious, get one femme item, socks
and some other things you need. You just look like you are shopping
for the family, which you are.
If you really want good help, tell them it is for you. If no one asks
to help you, then you find someone and ask them for help. Some may be
surprised or taken off guard, but all clerks for me have been very
helpful and about half really seem to enjoy helping me. You have not
shopped until you can talk girdles with an upper 50's gal who knows her
support garments, just like you were her average customer. And have
her ask you if you are sure that is the right size and when you say
you believe so, she takes you to a fitting room without you even
asking or you ever telling her it was for you.
And if you are not comfortable shopping for your self in your town,
get out of the area. There is nothing like shopping some place where
you have little to none chance of running into someone you know and
the clerks will never see you again. It can give a person great
confidence to just do it. When I first shopped for myself, I was out
of town, knew I would never see this person again, and the worse they
could do is laugh at me or ask me to leave. And I would then go the
next store. I was just buying clothes. I was not going to do a porn
show in the middle of the store. So do not act like it, you are just
shopping.
Shop, do not move about the department or store like you have something
to hide as this will quickly draw attention to yourself from clerks and
security people. Act like you are shopping for mens clothes, tools, or
something else you shop for. Go go in, look around, touch "some" items
to feel the material, straps and padding. Pick up some items to look at
them better, turn to see the back, and maybe hold up to see possible fit.
Do not worry about a clerk seeing you, they just will know it is for you
and they may know how bad you do need their help if you are holding up a medium and need a 2XL.
It also helps to start small. If you are really scared go buy some
woman's socks, unisex gals tee shirt or similar. And then work up to
larger, more feminine and more items.
I have yet to encounter a clerk with a bad attitude to me shopping there.
But this one I have thought ahead on and will just say something similar
to "I am sorry you do not want my business" and leave to another store.
I am not going to change that person's mind at this moment, so I aleast
want to leave with my head up and with a smile to give them something to
think about after I leave. Maybe some other clerk may have noticed or
after I am gone the BA clerk will talk about it and then be made aware
of store policy or gain other information to make the encounter with the
next TG/CD person better.
The biggest thing I tell people start by getting out of town to where
you do not know people so you have little to no chance of running into
someone you know. The the clerks you will never see again, so who cares what they think. And I mean that in a good way, not an in your face type of way. And if the clerks do not want to help you go to the next store.
KimberlyS - CD
A guy in a skirt
