Obsessing or Confused?
Moderators: KimberlyS, CathyAnn
-
April C
- New Member
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:22 pm
Obsessing or Confused?
How many of you girls can go throughout the day without thinking about CDing or just plain get lost in the thought of it period? I'm at a point where i'm literally driving myself crazy with the thoughts in my head all day!! It seems like all i can think about or fantasize about is being female. Somedays I wonder how I even get through the day or carry on conversations with people cause it's on the front of my mind all day and night. I'm pretty happy with my life in general and my Wife is all good with my little secret and is open to talking or shopping with me. I don't know if it's my age (35) or am I starting to travel a different road and the dressing is not enough anymore? I just feel like being a female is my ultimate desire. How do you seperate fantasy from reality? Is talking to a counselor a good idea? I know this seems like a crazy post but one of you have to know how i feel don't you? how do you cope? I think some of it might be that I don't really have anyone to talk to about all this. I came out to my wife 3 years ago and like I said she's great with it but has never expressed any intrest in knowing anymore about it. I feel like since coming out after all these years that all I want to do is learn more about my situation. This is definetly a great place to start i think. Maybe i'll start posting more instead of holding back. Thank's for listening and all comments will be appreciated.
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
April,
A lot of us have the "been there done that" going for us. It would appear that each of us have handled it a bit different. There is an old saying that gets "us" - well me this time - into trouble, but I have been taken to the wood shed so many times I think it has been renamed in my honor. Anyway the question is "What is the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?" answer "About three years!" It really isn't that funny!
There are those in this sorority that may be a bit more attuned to your situation, but my only advice is you really need to first decide what you are feeling, then consider telling your wife and discussing the possibility of going to a counselor - ONE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH "OUR" SITUATION!" The great frontiersman, Davy Crockett, is to have said, "Be sure your right, then go ahead!" It may be your "Magical Mystery Tour" to travel a different road from most of us on this forum. Sense your feelings, study, ask questions, communicate with your wife, but just remember, it is your life, it is short enough, so your happiness is critical. Like the old saying "When Momma ain't happy ain't nobody gonna be happy!"
We are here for you and we will do what we can to help you find where your "gift" may take you.
Most of all, enjoy the journey, it can be a most beautiful experience!
Love,
Virginia
A lot of us have the "been there done that" going for us. It would appear that each of us have handled it a bit different. There is an old saying that gets "us" - well me this time - into trouble, but I have been taken to the wood shed so many times I think it has been renamed in my honor. Anyway the question is "What is the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?" answer "About three years!" It really isn't that funny!
There are those in this sorority that may be a bit more attuned to your situation, but my only advice is you really need to first decide what you are feeling, then consider telling your wife and discussing the possibility of going to a counselor - ONE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH "OUR" SITUATION!" The great frontiersman, Davy Crockett, is to have said, "Be sure your right, then go ahead!" It may be your "Magical Mystery Tour" to travel a different road from most of us on this forum. Sense your feelings, study, ask questions, communicate with your wife, but just remember, it is your life, it is short enough, so your happiness is critical. Like the old saying "When Momma ain't happy ain't nobody gonna be happy!"
We are here for you and we will do what we can to help you find where your "gift" may take you.
Most of all, enjoy the journey, it can be a most beautiful experience!
Love,
Virginia
Last edited by Virginia on Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
-
DonnaT
- Miss Great Goddess
- Posts: 8222
- Joined: Fri Sep 17, 2004 11:04 am
- Location: No. Virginia
I think posting more to get the "talking" out is a good idea.
If it has become a bit more of an obsession, talking to a therapist knowledgeable in gender issues is also a good idea.
You may be experiencing some euphoria after coming out to your wife, and having her respond the way she has. You may not.
Seeing a therapist should, hopefully, help you sort that out.
If it has become a bit more of an obsession, talking to a therapist knowledgeable in gender issues is also a good idea.
You may be experiencing some euphoria after coming out to your wife, and having her respond the way she has. You may not.
Seeing a therapist should, hopefully, help you sort that out.
DonnaT
-
Anita
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3068
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 2:55 pm
- Location: Burlingame, CA (San Francisco Bay area)
Hi April--
I see that I need more information before I can be of much use. One thing I'd need to know is: do you go out in public dressed at this point? If not, then all this fantasizing might be relieved by starting to do that. It might not be about having to "travel a different road because the dressing isn't enough." For some people, there comes a time when it's no longer enough to only get dressed at home. You may be one of them.
Obviously this new condition is different--so, what was it like for you before? Did you only think about CDing occasionally, like once every few days? That's the other piece of info that's useful--to what degree is this a change?
This kind of obsession is no fun. If you can find out what your 'inner girl' is trying to tell you, it'll ease the pressure. I've been through it, and it did level out for me eventually.
I see that I need more information before I can be of much use. One thing I'd need to know is: do you go out in public dressed at this point? If not, then all this fantasizing might be relieved by starting to do that. It might not be about having to "travel a different road because the dressing isn't enough." For some people, there comes a time when it's no longer enough to only get dressed at home. You may be one of them.
Obviously this new condition is different--so, what was it like for you before? Did you only think about CDing occasionally, like once every few days? That's the other piece of info that's useful--to what degree is this a change?
This kind of obsession is no fun. If you can find out what your 'inner girl' is trying to tell you, it'll ease the pressure. I've been through it, and it did level out for me eventually.
-
Absaroka
- Miss Diamond Goddess
- Posts: 3344
- Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:30 am
Hi April,
Sometimes I think about dressing a lot. It's sort of my comfortable companion of thought if I am in a pretty good mood and have nothing much else to think about. Sort of like teenage boys are always thinking about sex. But the thoughts are not disturbing and do not seem to rule me.
A good question might be do you fantasize about dressing or about being a woman. These are two very different things.
Another might be if you weren't thinking about this constantly, what else would you be thinking about. Sometimes our obsessions are a good way to avoid thinking about something else less pleasant.
All that being said, post here and talk all you want, remembering that this is after all just e-land and important decisions need a far firmer basis than what some anonymous stranger think.
If the obsession or confusion or discomfort continues I echo the advice already given about seeking counseling from a therapist knowledgable in this area.
Sounds like your wife is a good friend in all of this. Be sure to keep her aware of your gratitude.
Absaroka
Sometimes I think about dressing a lot. It's sort of my comfortable companion of thought if I am in a pretty good mood and have nothing much else to think about. Sort of like teenage boys are always thinking about sex. But the thoughts are not disturbing and do not seem to rule me.
A good question might be do you fantasize about dressing or about being a woman. These are two very different things.
Another might be if you weren't thinking about this constantly, what else would you be thinking about. Sometimes our obsessions are a good way to avoid thinking about something else less pleasant.
All that being said, post here and talk all you want, remembering that this is after all just e-land and important decisions need a far firmer basis than what some anonymous stranger think.
If the obsession or confusion or discomfort continues I echo the advice already given about seeking counseling from a therapist knowledgable in this area.
Sounds like your wife is a good friend in all of this. Be sure to keep her aware of your gratitude.
Absaroka
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon
-
Melyssa Anne
- Miss Emerald Goddess
- Posts: 166
- Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 11:09 am
For what its worth -- I think that Absaroka has given some good information and advice. There are times I too think a lot about dressing. Sometimes (like when my wife started supporting me in it) it was about all I could think about -- I was so very excited about it, and being able to talk about it and doing things with her as Melyssa -- at times it was a bit overwhelming.
I have also thought about what it would be like to be a woman - as opposed to just dressed. For me, going farther than dressing does not appeal. However, when I am dressing, I want to do it as well as possible. But still a big difference between dressing and being a woman.
It is also an escape for me. I find that when things are more stressful, then I tend to spend even more time thinking about being dressed -- its a distraction, a calm place for me (not that I don't enjoy it when things are going great as well).
Again, Absoroka's advice about posting here and the therapist sound like good ideas to me.
We're here --keep posting.
I have also thought about what it would be like to be a woman - as opposed to just dressed. For me, going farther than dressing does not appeal. However, when I am dressing, I want to do it as well as possible. But still a big difference between dressing and being a woman.
It is also an escape for me. I find that when things are more stressful, then I tend to spend even more time thinking about being dressed -- its a distraction, a calm place for me (not that I don't enjoy it when things are going great as well).
Again, Absoroka's advice about posting here and the therapist sound like good ideas to me.
We're here --keep posting.
Missy