When you have told someone

[Penni SO]

Hello all,

Have you told someone about your dressing or your transition plans.
For those of you that have,how many of those told still keep in contact,or how many of your friends try not to bring up the topic,or even avoid you.

My spouse and I have clean to the family so to speak and some friends.Most already new about my spouses dressing....and avoided it to the max,accept for one brother-in law who liked to bring up crossdressing jokes...which were not funny at all.

So 5 months ago we told our close friends and family of my spouses transexuality,we told them about her depression and my struggle to keep the family functioning from day to day as normal as possible.Everyone was "oh my god you poor thing I don't know how you cope and I thought such and such was looking a little more feminie etc.
The biggy yes you have our support.
Well hello,not true,it is forgotten,I have'nt heard from a few of our friends in ages,one of my sisters looks at my partner like he is under a microscope and my parents say as little as possible...which is really sad as we really need them at this time.

Can anyone else relate to this.

HUGS PENNY

[Virginia]

Hi Penny,
I don't know if this is in keeping totally with the thread, but the second person that I actually told (after my wife) that I was a crossdresser was the counselor that my "ex" "requested" that I go to. I walked into his office for our first session and he asked the question, something to the effect, "What brings you in today?" I leaned forward a bit, looked him straight in the eye and said, "I'm a crossdresser ------------------------- do you have a problem with that?" He was a bit taken back, and mumbled a quiet, "uh, no, no, not at all!" Then I said, "Hell, for all I know you could be one as well, how do I know what you have on under that coat and tie!" Strange thing, he never responded!
My daughter told her husband and his reaction was, "well, I don't think I want him around our kids?!" (my two grandchildren). My statement to him was, " And this from an institutionalized drug addict!?" Well, needless to say, I have free reign to see my grandchildren. You see, we all have our crosses to bear and you know my statement to these self-righteous, Bible thumping do-gooders! "So you believe in God? That's great! God is all knowing? God is perfect? God doesn't make mistakes? Well, here stands Virginia!!!!!!!!! What do you think??"
We are who we are and if we are lucky enough in this short life time to have the brilliance to actually discover who we are, be it a preacher, a carpenter, a pilot, or a crossdresser, we are so far ahead of the masses that all we should do is smile, hold our heads up high and as Larry the Cable guy says. "Git 'er done!!!!!!"
Keep the faith, it is your life and if you let someone else dictate your life, then I guess it really never was your life!
Love,
Virginia

[DeeDee]

Penni
My situation isn't quite like yours, it seems like we all have our own slight twists to the plot. You can read my posts a few down from your thread "if you tell". So far its been fine with me, but I'm sure some will just "forget they knew me" when they find out. No matter what, we're the same person that we were in jeans and a flannel shirt. The dress doesn't change us...and if anyone wants to write me off...thats fine! BTW, my father has known for 16 years now.....and we're closer now.....but thats another story.
The best to you
DeeDee

[Absaroka]

I've only told two people all about it and both of them were the sort of people that you would tell very personal secrets about. I was thanked for trusting them and the relationship didn't change much-perhaps a bit more trust.

Absaroka

[Jess(SO)]

Penny,

I told two of my closest friends (about 6 weeks ago now) that M liked wearing fem underwear , one of them "said nowt wrong with a bit of satin or lace in the bedroom" ?????????WTF who mentioned satin or lace in the bedroom not me -(does that hint at ???? or am ?I imagining and they both said "so thats what it was all about way back in July" "YUP" said I and to be fair they both understood why he had had difficulty in telling me about hid cding because of my recent past so, they both slapped me metaphorically round the head and told me I was a daft git (can't help but agree with them sometimes )

I did phone M after 5 mins and told him that I had told them - he was not a happy bunny but since I toldd them and he realises that they haven't treated him any different, he still does the poker, drinking nights with their hubbies, and we have had several parties at which not a word has been mentioned so he has calmed down on that score.

I probably wouldn't have said anything to them at all but he was back in silent mode at the time, re-cding and we had had a huge row the week before over the cding and his/my attitude to it and the fact that I was expected to go along with whatever he wanted incuding me doing some of the controlling thing (yup I know this keeps coming up).

Ergo I felt so alone, and my mates were really worried about me, and while they weren't pushing for answers, I just needed to talk to somebody face to face about it all -- now I know that I risked a lot for both of us but I would never have dreamt of saying anything to them if I felt that they would not be able to respect our need for privacy and trust them to the hilt.

I really hate this damned lying bit to the hilt

Jess

[Gaven McLaren]

Of the people I have told my friends have reacted the best. My mother when the subject comes up tries to change me and tells me that women will not like a man that wears womens clothes. I have not told my 3 sisters yet. My 2 younger sisters I think will take it better the my older sister.

[DonnaT]

Penni, what have these people said when you've confronted them about how they've been acting? And if you haven't confronted them, I think you should.

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I've told my mother, and she's fine with it. My kids.

One friend and she's fine with it, we remained friends until my wife emailed her and asked her to to contact me again.

No one else, as per my wife's wishes.