Now that's a friend. An uplifting msg for you all.

[Colette]

Hi everybody.

I want to share the following email with you all. I received it this morning from a very dear friend of mine, a friend with whom I have shared some of my deepest pain, a friend who has always invited me to be real. My friend has known for a few months about my desire to crossdress, but only in the most peripheral way. Last night, we spoke at length and I shared more with him than I ever have another person. We spoke about many things about sexuality, but primarily about my crossdressing. This email he wrote to me doesn't just speak to me. I think many of you will like what he has to say, so I wanted to share it (not to mention that I am extremely grateful and I want to share my gratitude with the world).

So here it is:

Dear Dan (Colette),
I want you to know something. I respect you. And I respect your choices. And I love you. You could never do anything to change that or my feelings toward you.

I'm more appreciative of your desires/fears/thoughts/willingness than ever before - thank you for being will to share that picture with me. Thank you for expanding my idea of what the world is/can be.

I was thinking about all the fear & apprehension I saw tonight, and I wanted to ease that somewhat. I wanted to give an acceptance that went BEYOND tolerance. And I thought about the different times my family has had to expand their ideas of someone. When we had to reach inside to allow someone's evolution & still maintainand grow that love that we have for that person.

And I remember my mom, very specifically, being the ring leader of that.

So I'd like to learn more. I'd like to visit the websites you've been
frequenting &look at the forums & read the posts. Hell, I may want to ask questions myself.

I want to understand you.

I've thought a lot about this: why is cross-dressing such a big deal?
And I think the answer is, culturally, it's associated with something that has been represented and shown to be gay. It's something that isn't it's OWN decision - it's been seen as a "gateway drug" of sorts. Doing this will inevitably lead to gender reversal/confusion or homosexuality.
And I'm sure for some people it has been that. But it sounds like you're
finding a world of people that don't live in the stereotype.

Still, I get the apprehension, and I want you to know my vision of things.
With the cross-dressing, I want to make this clear: I believe it to be art. I see it now as self-expression. Before, when you sort of downplayed it, I thought of it as a fetish.I know better now, and I'm starting to learn what is more fetish-like for you; and what's more deep down & settled in your core.

And after we talked, I thought about it - and isn't it a portrait? A self-portrait?Isn't it just communicating something from within? Why is it focused on the fact that a guy is wearing make-up? Why isn't it seen as a guy is expressing himself? That he's allowing his soul to be shown, artistically?

I won't call it a statement, and I don't want to label it. I get that you have
SO many labels in your brain that are all looking to define you. Again, it's not that I'm looking to be like that,I'm just giving my impression from last night.

I think what you're doing is beautiful. I know you've got strong sexual ties to this, and so to have a man comment on the beauty may be a lil' gay for you (and after tonight I'dget why you're so defensive about that - and other people's assumptions) but I just wanted to let you know that I see and think of this as art. I see a creation being born, I see something beautifuland poetic for the soul. And right now, I want more than nything else to encourage this self-discovery, if for no other reason - than to EXPERIENCE your boundaries and learn to love the space where your soul lives.

My ideas about the cross-dressing have grown tonight, and if I take nothing else away from it I will take this: it's about more than sex. It's not about identity, it's about releasingsomething inside. And to me, that is art. I grew up in a city that thrived on art. We sketched nakedbodies in art class in high school, and we saw a world in which art/expression was very much connected to sexuality/being. So as my understanding grew tonight, I related it to things I've seen before. Make-up can become paint and your body the canvas. What isn't gorgeous about
that?

So again, the cross-dressing is a TOTALLY different entity for me. I can start to say that I may be "getting it" now.

As for the fringe stuff we talked about. The stuff that was on the frontiers
and borders of your sexuality and that you had a hard time admitting. I felt so sad to see you grow timid of yourself there....(portion omitted)

To wrap this up:
I see the cross-dressing as beautiful, self-expressing art. I see you creating something wonderful. I know it's helped me to broaden my definition of the world - and see beyond the stereotypes. It sounds like a gorgeous & wonderful way to BE - and it's just one way - it doesn't define or limit you. I hope that you share it with the world someday.
(Portion Omitted)

Know that while I root for you to do all these crazy wild things - I do it
authentically. I do it believing that you'll enjoyand find freedom. I do it because I love you & I don't see the black & white world you were confined to. I see colors. And Dan, each thing you mentioned are just different shades of color to me. The nuances of you. They are all beautiful, and deserve expression and release.

And again, I would like to visit those websites, because this is important to
you, a part of you - and I'm willing to make an investment to understand that.

Love you,

T...

[Stormy(SO)]

Awww Colette - T is beautiful!! Lucky you!!

Stormy

[SilverLady(SO)]

Colette - You have a wonderful friend in T - and please do give him our web site!

I agree with T and Stormy, and I just wish that more people could look at CDing - and CD's in general - with an open mind. To do so otherwise is just another form of discrimination, pure and simple.



- SL

[CJ]

Okay, now I want a friend like that! Where do I sign up?

CJ

[MLee(SO)]

Articulated so elegantly from a loving friend.
How wonderful you have such a friend. I believe that is what a friend should be in the truest form almost perfection, which is so rare and such a treasure.

Thank you so very much for sharing that email.
It is an inspiration to say the least

[Kyra]

Too cool! It must be wonderful to have a friend who can be so expressive.
Hugs,
Kyra

[Virginia]

Someone once told me that as we traverse this "veil of tears" that we have many acquaintances, but friends, friends you can usually count on one hand! I think you can start that count - a very fortunate encounter. Of course there is the definition of a friend and a true friend, "A friend will come to jail and bail you out! A true friend will be sitting in the jail cell next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" "
To describe us as an art form - very interesting observation! I have never considered it as an art form, but I will now take that into consideration. Yes it is a form of expression and instead of on canvas or in the form of wood or metal it is human flesh being altered for the sake of self-expression! Yes, I can buy into that as well!
Congratulations on being a friend and for being quite an ambassador for us!
Virginia

[Gaven McLaren]

It was a great letter. I am glad that your friend is like my friends. I wish more people felt this way.

[Lisa(SO)]

Colette,

I wish we all had friends like T. T is a very special gift to you and obviously you are a gift to him. It would be great if he joined our " family" here.

[Kendra Lynn]

Dear Colette: "T" is a great friend.
Congratulations!
Some of my friends have seen me "dressed" or at least seen photos.
Some seem to be curious, some are supportive, some don't care, and some probably don't like it.
It means a lot to me when long time friends accept my CD'ing.
Peace-- Kendra Lynn

[Stephanie W]

Colette

Thanks for sharing your letter with us all. We don't need to tell you what a great friend you have there.

Stephanie

[Stephanie W]

Virginia

"A friend will come to jail and bail you out! A true friend will be sitting in the jail cell next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" "

Don't you mean sitting next to you in the woodshed? S