Baby steps are working.

[Lisbeth]

I've been taking all the suggestions about baby steps and I have'nt been flaunting my self or over doing it. I've kept most of the dress up out of sight, mostly while my wife was working. I listened to a few of you that told me to just lay off for awhile until she got a little more accustomed to this side of me. I think I had already mentioned that she bought me a pair of heels in the beginning of the week. I wore them that night in front of her for awhile and paid close attention to how she was reacting. All was well so I thanked her for buying me the shoes and for trying so hard to understand me. Then We went about life as always with an occasional question here and there. All quiet and happy with each other.
Well the baby steps are really paying of. Out of a clear blue sky tonite she asked me if she could put on my make-up. Of course I said yes and asked her if she was ready foer this. She said she was and she did a wonderful job. She has a much lighter touch than I do and I looked good. After he was finished she said "You should go upstairs and complete the look". I practically flew upstairs and put on some panty hose, a conservative black skirt, A nice bra and a dark blue sweater. I put a long scarf around my shoulders and put on my heels and went downstairs. I've got to tell you I was shaking! I still feel like I'm drunk from this new found freedom and the fact that I'm able to share this intimate part of my life with the woman I love and she isn't running screaming from the house.
I just so grateful that I found the forum and suddenly I wasn't all alone anymore. I had all of you girls to talk to and ask advice of. I know I started off like a house on fire when she first said it was okay for me to dress and I know I scared her. I'm so glad you guys brought me some reality and made me slow down and look at what I was doing. I'll tell you one thing. I am one truly happy person tonite. Happier than I've been in a very long time. Thank you all for helping me to prevent a disaster by being in too much of a rush. I really do believe we're doing just fine.
Thanks for letting me ramble on. I just had to tell someone how happy I am right now. Love, Lisbeth.
P.S. She even took pictures and told me I would definetly pass! Wow!!

[Jess(SO)]

good news hun, but remember baby baby steps. I really don't want to pull you down from the high you are on now but what she was happy with today and may have been a huge step can just as quickly go the other way if you are not careful. Let her have a few days to digest this mentally, and you never know, but sometimes we GG's are our own worst enemy, we so want to make our partners feel good, that it is we ourselves who push us out of our own comfort Zone, and all in the name of love .

Take time, and care and don't forget to tell your lady just how prescious she is, -( try not to mention cding in the same sentance )

Jess

[Stephanie W]

Lisbeth

I will echo what Jess just said and keep yourself in check. If your wife is as into it right now as you say, then, hey, no need to peddle any faster than she's going right now. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. Just make sure you're hanging onto the wig should you come grinding to a sudden halt. Nothing major, she may just need a bathroom break. Best of luck!

Stephanie

[Virginia]

This is what we are about isn't it? Helping each other. We are glad about your acceptance, but Jess and MS.S said it - and you must live it - "baby steps!" We are all hoping that this works for you and glad that you are sharing with us!
Love,
Virginia

[Kyra]

It's good to hear she's taking a positive attitude towards CDing.

Keep up the good work!
Hugs,
Kyra

[Lisbeth]

I've just have to tell you all how truly amazing you all are and how long I've kept my little "secret indentity" from eveyone all of my life.When my first wife and I started having real problems, part of which was my wearing her panties and things, I went for therapy. After seeing the therapist for months I finally screwed up all my courage and tried to tell him about my desire to dress up. I was petrified! I really didn't know what to expect and I had hoped for a little help in understanding these feelings. After carefuly explaining that I sometimes liked to wear womens underwear And feeling like I had just confessed to killing Kennedy the only thing he said was, and I quote, " They do that a lot in England." That was it! I had taken what I considered the biggest and hardest risk in my life, baring my soul to this man that was supposed to understand and help me and All he said was that they did this sort of thing in England. That was the last I ever spoke of it to anyone for at least another 20-25 years. I was destined to be alone with this secret for the rest of my life, or so I thought. Flash ahead to about 1994 or so. I had run the gaunlet of shame and fear and I was drinking like a fish and just getting worse. I knew I needed help and I found a program with another therapist. A woman this time. She was my fourth or fifth over the years but I had never brought up my CDing to anyone again until This very understanding woman. I took a chance and told her about it and about my first try at therapy to try to understand it. She didn't laugh or ask dumb questions. She listened and we actually talked about reasons why I might have these desires. I felt good to finally tell someone and not have to worry about who else would find out. Up until I found this forum I hadn't told anyone else and I figured I never would.

Now that I've joined with a bunch of others with the same story and the same fears and triumphs I'm beside myself with an inner happieness that I've never known before. As I write this my heart is pounding from just shear joy at not being laughed at and being a part of a much larger population then I ever thought existed.

Because of all the excitement about finding more of my "kind"I went a little bit fast with my wife by jumping in with both feet. I will be forever grateful to all of you for pulling me back to earth before it was too late. For the first time in my life I can talk about it and listen to others tell almost the same story as mine. I'm on cloud nine. I feel like I've rediscovered my long lost "twin" and boy do we have some catching up to do!
I hope I don't sond too much like a broken record but this is all just such a dream come true it's hard to believe. I've had hardships in my life and survived them all but nothing compares to this feeling of freedom and acceptance. I've had to deal with my Mom taking her own life, Removal of a third of my right lung for what turned out to be a mistake on the doctors part, only to have the lower half of my left lung removed the next year for what turned out to be lung cancer. That was almost six years ago and I've been cancer free since. That is all in my past and I try not to dwell there. I know now that I only have today and even the next ten seconds isn't promised to anyone for any price. I have two beautiful daughters,both married to good men and I am blessed with the two most beautiful and intelligent grand-children the world has ever seen. At this point in my life I'm pretty happy and satisfied with myself. There will always be room for improvement but There's no rush to get it right every time anymore. And you know what else? I've got great legs for an old retired "odd ball". Who could ask for anything more?

Thanks for letting me ramble on again. I've just never had the chance to open up to anyone like this before and I tend to go a little overboard sometimes. I just want to thank all of you again for being here and for understanding what most people don't. You have helped me open a brand new chapter in my life and not run screaming from the building. You are all very special people with more love and understanding than any other group of people I know of. Bless you all.

Good night all, Love,
Lisbeth

[Stormy(SO)]

Bravo!! Everyone should have the best of all worlds if they are able. It sounds like you are doing the right things and enjoying every bit of it. Kudos to your wife for being understanding and supportive too!

It's always great to find a new best friend or sister in life. As SL and Virginia will tell you - the magical mystery tour is fabulous!

Stormy

[SilverLady(SO)]

It's always great to find a new best friend or sister in life. As SL and Virginia will tell you - the magical mystery tour is fabulous!

Oh, indeed it is, and I wouldn't trade my life - especially my love for Virginia and B - for anything in the world!!

Together we will walk hand in hand and enjoy our Magical Mystery Tour to the fullest!!

- SL

[DonnaT]

That's great news Lisbeth.

Don't forget to do something special for her.

[Anita]

I think that you have a good handle on things, Lisbeth. Remember my particular warning that I put in another reply to you--and that's the caution about feeling that "someone" or something will try to take away this new freedom you feel.

I don't know how common this feeling is, but I felt it very strongly the first few months. I had no one who was standing in my way, at all! Yet I felt a certain threat in the air, as if this would all be taken away. It took a while for me to see that in my case, the only one who would sabotage it would be me! It really helped that I was going out and meeting people, in my new identity. It helped make it real to me, and got me familiar with the idea. In this case, your wife provides feedback on who "you" are when you are in this new role.

But I can see how easy it would be to feel the threat I felt, and and then project it onto your spouse. I don't see you doing this-- I just want to make a note of it, for everyone here. In my case, I could clearly see that the threat was somewhat irrational, and not all based in the here/now. (Of course there are some risks to standing up tall as a crossdresser, whether it's to one person or many. )

I'm assuming that I was punished for some kind of gender acting out when I was too young to really remember it. Those feelings had not been triggered when I dressed in secret as a teenager, because no one else knew. As soon as I considered being around other people dressed, the old feelings came back very strongly, whatever they were.

If it does happen to you, then ride it out the best you can. It took three months before I really settled down and put this issue behind me

[Carolina]

I'm glad that you are beginning to be able to share your whole life with your wife, and that she is accepting in what she sees. I believe we are lucky (and should not forget it!) to have an understanding SO but with it comes the responsibility to treat their feelings with as much respect as we do our own.

I had to laugh at your therapist's comment "they do that a lot in England"...??? Being from there, I can tell you it's not that different from here, in fact probably a little more reserved! Or maybe he thought we got confused about whose was whose underwear..

best wishes,



-c.