Here to air my frustrations

[Penni SO]

Hi ya everyone,

It has been a while since I posted here on the crossdressers-forum,but that is because I have been very busy on the Chameleons forum,Australain Transexual Network,supporting my Transexual partner,tending to kids,doing my counselling course etc.

O.k at the Chameleons I am supposed to be the spouse rep for the spouses,sadly we have about 4 that attend the club...so most of my services are for the CD's and Transexuals.
I get emails,phone calls etc from mainly CD's telling me that life is not so great...so what do I do,I suggest an open arena,every couple of months, a little like a 12 step programme would be run, the club night could be broken of into 2 areas of the room,those that just want to socialize,chat have a cuppa and the other part for those who are struggling with life,or need a little support,they may be able to use the open arena to open up to others,maybe seek assistance or just bond with someone who is feeling the same.
The reactions have been split down the middle and to me this is very dissapointing as those that feel the club should not provide such a service will in the end win out...if you like please check the forum www.chameleonswa.com under the CD topic are my topic ' Would it be worth it sometimes"You know it is like pulling teeth...on the one hand you know that from what you hear and experience via others that this should be a need,apparently according to some there are enough trained people out there to go too who understand,,well I beg to differ,here in Perth Western Australia there is not the resources to cope with the difficulties faced by someone within the Transgender umbrella...god it is frustrating.

Even my own spouse and I have problems finding the right people to help with her journey,or for my needs as a spouse.

So after much whinging do your clubs offer any services as such...even a buddy system for those that need a liitle TLC in life.

Sorry...just frustrated.

Hugs Penni

[DonnaT]

Hi Penni,

I've never been to a support club/meeting. But it would seem to me that if the club is for both support and socializing, then that's what should be happening.

The Chameleon Society is a support and social group for Crossdressers, Transsexuals, their partners and other people or businesses involved with the transgender community.

I reckon if I was running such a club. there would be a short club/business report, then a support meeting (mandatory attendance for all present) followed by the social activities and demos arranged for the evening.

I noticed the Chameleons meet twice a month. which is quite a bit of time to socialize. So, is one day a support/socialize meeting and another a demo/socialize meeting? Or What?

[JoAnnDallas]

I belong to Tri-Ess and at our meetings, it is broken into three segments, the first segment is socializing and dinner, the second is the group meeitng, and the third is support issues. For those that are not in need of support, usually go back to the socializing part or work with thoses that do need support on a one-to-one basis.

[Virginia]

Well I guess I can not contribute much. I am going to my first support meeting on April 6th ( maybe Donna will be there as well?). I am going simply because I was invited. I don't know quite what to expect. It is held at a state sponsored clinic for GBTL. I think, and it is just my opinion, that I was asked to attend because of the confidence that I have when I am out. However, if I can share anything with any of the girls I certainly will.
We are all coming out in baby-steps and it is nice to see. We, as women, have to learn to use the characteristics that come with our gift and one of them is patience, lots and lots of patience.
Penni, I wish you luck in your quest, I know it is not easy, but you are in it and there are people that rely on you now. You are a woman and that alone puts you so very far ahead of what or who ever is in second place.
Just remember the old female matra! "The difficult - we do immediately - the impossible, takes a bit longer!"
We will share more soon,
Love ya,
Virginia

[Cathii]

It has been a while since I posted here on the crossdressers-forum,but that is because I have been very busy on the Chameleons forum,Australain Transexual Network,supporting my Transexual partner,tending to kids,doing my counselling course etc.

Hiya Penny

After last night I need a serious vent as well............. Argh I have started writing at least a dozen times and nothing is coming out right. I am frustrated. Last night for the first time ever I was ashamed of belonging to the Chameleons..........

Penny, I will email you soon, I think I need some advice that doesn't belong in public.

Cathii

[Stephanie W]

Hi Penni

I think it's admirable what you are trying to do for your club and they should be thankful they have such a resourceful go-to person such as yourself. Unfortunately though, in my experience with support groups like these, our members come from all walks of life and you will always have your share of naysayers, regardless of what it is you're trying to do. That said, the point about where these sessions might go, if say, any of the attendees were to become emotional to the point that some serious psychological harm may ensue, is indeed a valid one. Categorizing it as an impromptu and relaxed gathering, slightly different from a social evening, where topics lean more towards emotional well being might be a more palatable way for the group to support your initiative. I don't see this as anything out of the ordinary in a support/social group's mandate so everyone attending should be under no illusions that this is NOT a therapy session but an 'openness' session - either as a group or one on one. I'm certainly not a lawyer, but I don't see that as leaving yourself open to liability, which might be the case if the participants were under the misapprehension this was a shrink session. I'm sure my suggestion was what you had in mind, but perhaps you just need to sell it a different way. And as long as you still see a need to help others, then don't give up. Sounds like you're doing a fine job.

Stephanie

[Ronnie M]

Last night for the first time ever I was ashamed of belonging to the Chameleons..........
---------------------------------

NEVER feel ashamed of feelings. they are yours. and they mean something. they are not trivial. it is who(m) we are. never ever feel shame for being human and having feelings.
I don't know about you...nor anyone else.......but I'll tell ya.....

in MY world? I STILL remember my favorite 60's poster.......
a little field mouse watching an eagle coming down at him, talons first..and he is standing there giving the finger, to the eagle.
"last great act of defiance" it was called.
and "I" live by that. if people don't like my life......BITE ME!
I don't recall any law that says I have to answer to them...!!!!

take care be good to yourself.
and if ya need a 2nd ear? I'm here for ya!

ronnie

[Lisbeth]

I remember that poster! I had it on my wall at the barracks when I was on active duty with the Navy. I try not to be so defiant anymore but When I get behind "that gut" on the road I tend to become really impatient. My wife calls it road rage. I call it giving someone a driving "lesson".
Thanks for the nice memory Ronnie. I hadn't thought about that poster in years.
Love,
Lisbeth

[DeeDee]

I had a drawing of one of those fingers on the back of my SPH-4 helmet...till a colonel objected (no sense of humor).
As far as groups, I'm a member of Tri-Ess good and bad has been written about them. For me, it has been a nice experience, met so many others, finally, actually got out and just overall nice. All groups are different..and I have visited others, so there are no set "rules" as such. My group is small, tending to be more of a local group than others. As such, we tend to just socialize (BS) till we think everyone thats attending is there. Then a few minutes of official stuff....and on to more BSing. We do at times have a "guest"..maybe showing wares. Just my experience....but I can't ever say a bad thing about Tri-Ess...heck...they got me out
DeeDee

[Penni SO]

Hi ya Ronnie,

Today I resigned as Spouse rep and also my position on the forum as site admin. Apparently my suggestion to have an openess time within the meeting every 2 to 3 months was not met with open arms, in fact it divided everyone.
One small suggestion, nothing over the top, but apparently as I could not make the meeting some members felt our club should not have to provide that support.........hmmmmmmmmm why have that you are a support group I say, why not read social club etc.

Literally I have had enough; I have posted non-stop since we opened the forum 8 months ago. I wanted to be part of the support that everyone needs in this Transgender Spectum.

I think that they have forgotten that I too am a victim of the Transgender spectrum as my partner, my husband, is in transition.

So I would agree with Ronnie - I was totally disappointed.

Hugs Penny

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Penny -

I have to agree with your thoughts and your decisions, and I applaud you for standing up for yourself and defending your principles, and especially those that the Chameleons Society are supposed to endorse - that is, they are supposed to be a support group, but they are actually just a social club. What a shame - and what a sham.

The fact that they are obviously a social club, as opposed to a support group with a social side (such as is apparent at our forum, here), is one of the main reasons that I am not active at the Chameleons' forum. They have forgotten the main purpose of their group - that is, support for one another and their family members. Instead, they tend to be all about socializing without the support aspect.

Hopefully the Chameleons' will wake up and smell the roses - before the roses have all withered away.

I hope that you can get some support for you and your family with our group. We are all in this together, no matter where we may reside.



- SL

[Anita]

Hi Penni--
I'm sorry to hear about the state of affairs, but I'm glad you're taking care of yourself in this manner. You can't push the river--if there's no agreement there, then you move on.

[Merinda]

Today I resigned as Spouse rep and also my position on the forum as site admin.

Literally I have had enough; I have posted non-stop since we opened the forum 8 months ago. I wanted to be part of the support that everyone needs in this Transgender Spectum.

Hugs Penny

I'm real sorry to hear that Penny ,

You earn the title of DR Penny because you seemed to have a professional touch in the way you asked appropriate questions to get the full picture and then come up with the right advice.

Most posts on the chameleons forum were started by yourself , I do hope you continue to post there.

[Jess(SO)]

Penny have beem and added my 2cents worth over there .......... no doubt it will get me shot down in flames but hey ho.

will get round to emailing you back soon i promise

Keep smiling and keep on going on

luvs you my friend

Jess

[Ronnie M]

[quote="Penni SO"] Hi ya Ronnie,
why have that you are a support group I say, why not read social club etc.
============
============

welllllllllllllllll

I am not,..going to be, surprised...but then? they say I am paranoid,..when in fact,..it SHOULD read as;
vindicated.
I myself..have NOT expected anything out of my fellow man for decades due to what you just said...say one thing but do something else.

kinda false advertising huh?

it's ok...it's not like I DEPEND on these online groups for anything in the way of profound and earth shattering.

people are people. and as such..tend to be self indulgent. maybe social club WOULD be better advertised...


my best wishes for you.

ronnie