Man

[Sally]

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that's why for the first twenty years men eat, sleep, play, have sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years they slave in the sun to support their family; for the next ten years they do monkey tricks to entertain their grandchildren; and for the last ten years men around the house and bark at everybody.

[Ronnie M]

bear with me------

blonde has a flat tire on the interstate. pulls the car over, opens the trunk, gets out two life sized card board people, stands them out just-behind the car, gets out the spare tire and jack, and starts to change the tire. people whizzing by honking and yelling mean thuings at her.
finally a cop pulls up behind her, gets out, and asks her what she is doing.
she politely answers, she is changing a flat tire, why is he asking?
then he says, you know these card board men are nude, and why are they here?
she answers, yes,...she knows they are nude. they are my "emergency flashers" I was told to have.
============================================

[Jeannie]

There's a man waiting for a bus and it's pouring rain out. He has three eyes,no arms, and one leg. A British fellow is driving by and see's him and stops to give him a ride. He says in his British accent:

"Aye,Aye,Aye mate. You look harmless. Hop in!"

Love
Jeannie

[Jeannie]

Hi Ladies
One of my favorite songs has been parodied many times by many people and it's the perfect melody for us gals. It's that old classic"Winter Wonderland" They don't write em' like they used to. Sing along ladies and make believe I'm Mitch Miller. I know you'll do it because if you know the song it's impossible not to sing the words! I'm real sneaky!

Winter Wonderland

As I sit by the fire
And indulge my desire
My black pantyhose
My nighty red rose
walking round in womens underwear

Now outside It's a snowin'
And my wife she's snow blowin'
I see her from here
She's ridin' John Deere
I'm in the house in womens underwear

There's the bell it must be my new high heels
The UPS man looks so cute in Brown
When I say"Is it for me!" he gets pale
He turns around and speeds right out of town

There's my wife who I'm not missin'
She didn't know who she was kissin'
I told one day
She said"I'M NOY GAY"
"GET OUT OF HERE IN WOMENS UNDERWEAR!"


As I sit on the potty
Drinking my nice hot totty
Perusin' the sales
And doing my nails
Dressed up in my womens underwear.

This one will make me rich! I know it. The 4000 other attempts I thought the same thing! Hugs Girls


Love
Jeannie

PS. I had to go with a Christmas theme avatar for this one. Sorry.