Stress and CDing

Kimberly Kael · Post by **Kimberly Kael** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 4:27 pm

Like many, I certainly enjoy dressing up recreationally and find that something feminine in my attire is an important aspect of self-expression. Lately, though, I've been finding that "Kimberly time" is also an important antidote to stress in my work life. In particular I think that times when I need to play the alpha male role result in an increased need to express my feminine side - almost as if I need to return my gender balance to something I feel more comfortable with.

Do other people feel the same way? Or are there other times when the desire to express your feminine side gets stronger? Do the SOs notice any other trends in their partner's habits that might not be obvious to us?

Veronica Smith · Post by **Veronica Smith** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:44 pm

I find that after a stressful day at work I really need to come home and get into some femme clothing. The more stressful my day, the greater the need.

Veronica

Sylvia H · Post by **Sylvia H** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:38 pm

Absolutely!

Ive found the opposite to be true as well. When having been in an extended fem period it seems to be necessary sometimes to put Sylvia away for a while. Some kind of balancing act going on there somehow or another.
Its hard to describe, but Im sure everyone here or nearly so can identify with what you are saying.

xoxo
Sylvia

Karren Hutton · Post by **Karren Hutton** » Sun Apr 08, 2007 4:10 pm

Not really.... I don't get stresses out often.... just love to dress up....

Karren

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Sun Apr 08, 2007 8:18 pm

Well, Kimberly, it is pretty much accepted that there is this so-called "crossdressers continuum" that we all find ourselves on and how you got there, where you are and/or where you want to go are not necessarily as important as you accepting the fact that you are who you are and that you are on this continuum. Each of us find ourselves at various places and we also accept the fact that no one place is any better or worse than any other place. We are all different and how we accept this "gift" is up to us.
As for me, and please, I think all of you know I am in no way disparaging where any of my sisters were, are or seek to be, but for me, I am Virginia and she is me. She holds forth in my every action, she critiques, she criticizes, she rewards, encourages, or she can just let me run so to speak but she is there 24/7 and I guess that I have found "the balance" that some of us seek. Dressing is not necessary for her to influence any and every moment that she wants! BUT never, ever think that she is not a woman that does not desire to dress up and look as nice as she can whenever she wants!
Sorry if I wax philosophical, I can only speak for me!
Love,
Virginia

Absaroka · Post by **Absaroka** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:47 am

it's sort of the opposite. I need to be relaxed in order to enjoy CDing. If I am at home dressed and I get an upsetting phone call for example often I then have a desire to put the male clothes back on.
And I don't like to CD if I am sick or anxious.
Absaroka

Kimberly Kael · Post by **Kimberly Kael** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:54 am

Fascinating. Thank you for all the different perspectives. I certainly see some of myself in each of them (I can't imagine anything helping me feel all that feminie while sick, stress certainly isn't the primary motivator for cross-dresing for me, either, etc.) At the same time, it's obvious that there are some real differences in the way we feel about the role of the feminine aspects in our lives.

Thanks for giving me some food for throught on the subject.

KathyB · Post by **KathyB** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:43 pm

My SO would like to believe that stress is the only cause of my cross-dressing around the house. In my mind, it has nothing to do with it. I do it for myself, when I feel like it, for my own satisfaction. When I finally decided to toss the years of guilt I felt over crossdressing, I threw stress out along with it. Being Kathy is a very important component of being Keith, and I take opportunities where I find them, when I can enjoy it.

JoAnnDallas · Post by **JoAnnDallas** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:35 am

Last week we had a water valve bust and flood the entire house. So we have no floors or carpet, larage fans everywhere, dehumiditfiers in each room, no water for two days, no A/C, so 90 degs inside the house. We took the cats and went over to my sisters house and stayed there until Sunday and I went back the house. Wife and cats stayed at my sisters. Very stressful time for both of us. Anyway, it gave me a chance to completely dress up, even go out for a while en fem that Sunday evening. Yesterday morning I had my 6 month Dr checkup. She took my BP and it was normal. She remarked on it and I laughed and told her about the house. She was suprised that it was normal with problems like we have. I did not tell her about my dressing. Dressing for those few hours was what I needed to relieve the stress and it showed the next morning at the Doctors office.

PaulaG · Post by **PaulaG** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:49 pm

It's a Catch-22 for me. Dressing helps to relieve stresses in my life, but if there are bad things going on in my life then I don't feel like dressing until I am in a better place emotionally.

Lori · Post by **Lori** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 1:32 am

To me dressing is a tension reliever and it helps calm me down.....also it just feels right and relaxing

Anita · Post by **Anita** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 2:52 am

I have to say that going out as a woman is less stressful than going out as a man. Even though there's chances for confrontation, comments, and whatever, it's overall less stressful.

On the other hand, if I'm already under stress or pressure, then I put up the defenses. I stay male, and create a cocoon. Once the pressure is on, going female doesn't relieve it at all. As I said in another post, my male self "protects" my female self, and makes it safe for her to re-appear. At present time, she does not go out and slay dragons.

Like all the rest of life, there are paradoxes here. If the dragons suddenly appear on my girlself horizon, then I deal with them very well--since I'm under less stress when out as a female. If this sounds crazy, it's because it IS.

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 7:21 am

This is something that is very hard for me to explain, if I don't dress for a few days because it's not possible the wife can see the signs. Some where along the line she will whisper in my ear that tomorrow or the next I can dress and get all pretty for her. With me it's a matter of wanting to dress, a need I have to have. I guess like drugs I just have to have it. It's not to far down the line I can go back to a 24/7 dressing until the wife needs a break and ask for her husband to come around for a while which I do because she needs her man once in a while and not a girl friend. Now that I have confused everyone and kinda off the topic

Lisbeth · Post by **Lisbeth** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 1:56 pm

If by sress relief you mean leaving all the macho bulls**t behind for awhile, then yes. I can let down my guard and allow myself to express the feelings that I'm not "supposed to" as a man.
I still have the same emotions, no matter how I'm dressed but until I'm free of my "manly" persona I won't express most of them.
It does help me to let off some otherwise unventable steam. It's good for both my wife and I.
I have noticed lately that I will cry at the drop of a hat. I never would have been able to do that unless I let myself, gave myself permission.
Yes, it's a stress reliever and it sure beats checkers.

love,
Lisbeth

Maria · Post by **Maria** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:40 pm

Balance is the spice of life. I dress up at when I am home and to transgendered events only. I am a guy if I work or go to school. Dressing definitely relieves any stress that I might encounter as a male.

Maria