How Often have you been close to death as Cathii was????????

[Gelinda]

Everyone, I felt that this did not belong under the discussion of Cathii as that one belongs to her.

But I truly wonder how many of us have been close to doing the same thing (suicide).

I know about 3 years ago when I first started here, I almost did. I was dealing with CD and allowing myself to realize that I was one. Plus at different times of stress the faces of the dead will not leave me alone. I had been living by myself when I had a wonderful wife in texas an I was here making our money in KY. I almost used my 45 but a phone call from an emergency problem at the hospital stopped me. I know now that it was the Lord our God stopping me as their was something he has planned for me. (Just wish I knew what it was).

I am wondering if there should be some way that the administration should have our info so that in an emergency as with Cathii they could request help for the mind of someone on the deep end of death.

The phone call saved me but the conversions with CJ, Beauty, Elizabeth, Virginia, and another lady that I can picture in my mind but can't remember the name actually got me past all that at that time. I do not know if they knew or not.

Some times with me it was some post that I have read that helps me in those times. I have one more story of this same thing that I will admit too. Around a year and a half ago, Virginia was having an outing that I decided to go to. I packed most of my girl stuff in a bag an headed out. But my pride would not allow me to tell them who I was. I followed them from the eating place where I ate also to the bar. Then I followed them much later home to what I take as Virginia's. Virginia you will have to forgive me, I was professional trained to be stealthy. Now before anyone gets upset with me and wants to ban me or anything. It was my pride that stopped me. I knew that if I did dress with their help or not that I could not pull it off. Plus I have a drinking problem an was worried I would screw it up for everyone. I can tell you they had a superior time and no one seemed to notice. Well, after that I started to home as I was so down and blue, that I knew I could never do it as Virginia did that night you could hardly tell and I was watching. The others well not quite as good but if I can't do something perfect then I get mad at myself. Well on the way home, On the interstate I floored my truck an was doing over 110 when I decided to run over a bridge. An killl myself. Could not do that one either a semi got in my path and I was drinking by this time an crying alot and I just let it coast and stopped on the side of the road. When I was at the point of no return, I remembered a statement that CJ or Beauty one had made to me. "Most things will pass with time" I can't remember the conversation it was in but that kept playing in my mind. That was what made me slow down.

IS there anything the forum should do or could do to help someone in that case????????????

Gelinda.

[Gelinda]

Oh Well I guess it was a bad idea. Gee

[DonnaT]

All we can really do is what we already do.

If we are unaware of one's intentions, then there's not much we can do.

We did have one member succeed in her suicide. She was more active in another forum, and yet gave no indication as to what she intended.

In another forum, one person was clearly on the edge, and through our responses and suggestions, has drawn back from that edge to try some things differently. If she had not posted, she quite possibly would no longer be among us.

[KathyB]

Gelinda: I seriously considered it during my teens (14 or 15, actually.) I was dealing with my TG nature, my hormones were typically adolescent, my emotions were all over the place, and my depression was beginning to show itself, big time. My father had a first cousin who committed suicide, and I'd have to guess from his high school pictures he was either TS or gay. It was obvious how everyone in the family had been confused and hurt by his suicide, and it was memories of that hurt that stopped me from considering it any longer.

Every time my depression drove me to a new low, I'd try to remember the decision I'd made in my teens: Don't do it. Suicide leaves more questions than answers. You're better off telling people how you feel or changing your situation to try to make it better. Eventually, I sought help from my physician for the depression. Even with meds it still crops up, and I tend to have suicidal thoughts once or twice a year. But I'm glad I have friends here, who understand, and know, and care.

Great big hugs to you, sister. If you're ever feeling down, PM me here. If I can help, even if it's just to listen on the phone, I'll be glad to do it.

[Virginia]

Gee,
Honey, if you learned one thing "YOU ARE NOT ALONE!" I can't say I even considered that option, but that is just me. I saw Virginia's emergence into my life as not so much a challenge, but like finding a new friend. Someone that I wanted to find out all I could about. I (as a male, then) never felt threatened by her presence. It was more like a mystery, that door that you don't know what is behind but you just have to open it and find out. Finding this website was such a wondrous thing for me, guess I was lucky in that event. My sister's here, some of whom you have eluded to have done more for a lot of us than they perhaps will ever know. I can only hope that I can give back a bit of what Virginia and Crossdressers-Forum have given me.

I know you have been challenged not only with finding Gelinda is part of you, but you also carry a lot of luggage from earlier in your life. I can only repeat this. I gave some of my burden to Virginia -- it is amazing how strong women are, guys and I mean the knuckle-dragging red-necks have not got a clue what wondrous creatures women are.

Keep the faith girlfriend, you know we are here for you and just let Gelinda have some say in your life and you will constantly be amazed at what she can do for you!

Love you,
Virginia

[Gelinda]

I am not getting my point across which is nothing new for me. KB thanks for being their for me when and if I get that way again. I proayer that I am not that stupid again. I have 2 grandkids now and one about to pop into this world any day now and I know and live for hearing the words

PEE PAW.

The point I was attempting to make their should be someway for the wonderful and caring leaders to contact her one of us that wants it to protect our selfs from our selfs. What do you other ladies think.

Gee.

[Gelinda]

Virginia Darling. You have always given me for that I could ever give you. I know that if I asked for almost anything that you would do your best to do it for me. You have proved that on too many emails and PM's to me. I just wish I could do half again for you that you have done for me.

But Darling, I truly think that someone with power and control in this forum should have phone numbers and addresses to members of this forum that wants them too. I am not saying that you have too. But for emergency times of suicide, attack by oursides or whatever that one person can contact us if they are afraid of something we are about to do or have done to our selfs.

Gee

[SilverLady(SO)]

Hi, Gee -

I understand where you are coming from, and I think your idea does have great merit, but I am not sure of any legal ramifications and the like. Your suggestion is being submitted to Sharon(SO), as she is the owner of the Forum, and I'm sure that she will respond to you soon.

Again, thank you for your suggestion!



- SL

[DonnaT]

Maybe a phone number would help, but the case I mentioned, phone numbers were known but went unused.

If I'm nott mistaken Cathii also had phone contacts if she wished to reach out for help, but chose not to.

And what happens if you get that call, but aren't home to answer?
Or are there to answer but can't talk the person out of suicide? That's a lot of weight to put on one's shoulders.

[SilverLady(SO)]

Donna -

You are right, of course, and no one can be pushed into calling out for others, but this 'contact list' wouldn't necessarily be used solely for the most extreme case (suicide) as you are presuming. What if your sister was just really down and out, needing a pep talk - something more in-depth than what posting here at the Forum would provide? Just needing to hear another sister's voice and receiving immediate feed-back?

But, okay, say it did come down to a "serious help me" call, and what if, IF you were able to talk your sister out of suicide (if that was indeed the case)?!? Wouldn't you be happy that you were able to help one of your sisters in need?

If the worst-case scenario did happen, that you either weren't home to take the call -or- you weren't able to talk your sister out of suicide - - while that would be a heavy weight on your shoulders, you would be able to say that at least you tried, you gave it your very best, and in the end that is all that anyone can do. Ultimately, we're not responsible for anyone's actions but our own, no matter how much we might wish otherwise.

Just something to think about!



- SL

[CJ]

Hi all,

Gee,

Although Donna's right (and there's no forcing someone to reach out in times of trouble), it's worth it to know your local suicide hotline number in the event friends and family aren't reachable.



United States Suicide Hotlines

The above site lists all suicide hotlines by state as well as the U.S. national numbers.

The Canadian numbers: Canada Suicide Hotlines

Please phone if you need to talk.

Love,
CJ

[Gelinda]

Boy I blew it on this one. In attempting to get a point across to everyone, The point was lost. O well, forget it. Gee

[Elizabeth]

Gee,

It's not that no one gets it. It's that the very crux of what makes this forum work is the ability to remain anonymous. If people entered their numbers, those could become subject of legal proceedings. This would make it so people could be identified as crossdressers.

I think most of us know that is not going to happen, so everyone is giving the best advice they can to those who become depressed enough to take their own life. When I was thinking about killing myself and my subsequent attempt to do so, I was not thinking about talking to anyone here about it. I knew anyone here would try to talk me out of it. I was not interested in engaging anyone that wanted to talk me out of it.

So in the end, we have to ask what good a phone number data base would be? It's only purpose would end up being identifying those who gave their numbers. For this reason, I beleive it's impractical.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Gelinda]

I am not saying open phone list or address list. Only the admin section should have that. But they could direct the actions of who they trust to handle the problem at the time.

If jo jo makes waves of suicide in a post then Liz could sent an PM to Admin about it then admin makes the call so something along that line.

There has to be some way of doing it.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Gee,

We get your point, we really do (and it's a good one). But, as some have stated, there are legal ramifications to be considered.

Here, in Quebec, you break the law if you do not provide assistance to someone you know is in grave danger when it's clear that you could've done so--for instance, by phoning 911 and directing the emergency services to the residence of a suicidal person (assuming you know that person's phone number).

Still, your idea of a "telephone-touch" support community is a good one. It's just incredibly difficult to set up, as not everyone will want their privacy violated... even in times of utter despair.

Love,
CJ