making progress

Michelle_CD · Post by **Michelle_CD** » Mon May 21, 2007 4:56 am

Hello Everyone

I have been a member here for quite some time, but have seldom posted. However, despite my lack of participation this forum has helped me a great deal. As most of us, I have struggled a great deal with being a crossdresser. Being raised in the rural south and having come from a very religious family did not help. For all my life I have hated myself for this and have pretty much stayed in depression. I even think that in the past I have posted on here that I was making progress and accepting myself, yet only to purge all my things and go back into self-loathing and depression.

Well, I am writing now in much better spirits! I think I can now finally post I am coming to terms with this. Hopefully this will not be like the other times when I have fallen back and purged; things seem different now: I have gone the longest time ever in my life without purging. When I shop (in male mode obviously at this point) I do so with much greater ease. I used to shop with a red-face, sweating, and looking over my shoulder. Now I just take my time and look and truly enjoy it. I have even been honest with sales clerks. Just yesterday, when buying some shoes I let her know they were for me and she was great about it. I have also had trouble matching a foundation to my face so yesterday I also went to the Estee Lauder counter at Belk and asked for a foundation match. At first I was a little reluctant but I eventually just told her the truth and she was great and gave me good makeup tips. I have read on here how helpful most sales clerks are, but that was never so much my issue as just having the courage to shop and be honest.

I have also recently contacted a Tri-Ess group about 1.5 hours away and I hope to attend a meeting very soon (I’m going to actually use the shoes I bought yesterday!). I’ve never been out en femme and only very recently had these productive shopping trips. I am a novice even though I have felt these mixed up gender feelings since I was about 4. Anyway, I write this incredibly long (sorry!) post pretty much just to say thank you very much to those of you who post regularly on this forum encouraging others. You help more people than you may realize. Thank you!

(sorry this is soooo long)
-Michelle

Carol Ann · Post by **Carol Ann** » Mon May 21, 2007 6:43 am

Hi Michelle_CD,
So glad you posted and am happy you are feeling much better about yourself. I know for a fact you will enjoy Tri-Ess and you will find they are very friendly folks. Be sure and keep us informed as we do all love you.

Post by **DonnaT** » Mon May 21, 2007 7:00 am

Congratulatioons on becoming more self accepting Michelle, and for having the courage to be honest with tthe sales clerks.

I hope your first outing is a successful one.

Virginia · Post by **Virginia** » Mon May 21, 2007 11:11 pm

Hi Michelle,
I understand your concern about giving more specific information as to where in the South you live, but as you are probably aware we have girls from all around the South and perhaps if you were interested someone could share with you, where they go shopping or dining or to meetings. If you feel comfortable in PM'ing (how is that for a word PM'ing?) anyway give me a city and or state and we can possibly pass on some information.

Keep the faith, hon, we are here to support each other all that we can.

Love,
Virginia

Stephanie W · Post by **Stephanie W** » Sat May 26, 2007 6:48 pm

Michelle

Don't worry about not being a regular poster here. You've obviously gained enough confidence through the experiences of others that you're now off and running. Good for you and I've no doubt you'll find even more contentment as that confidence grows. Best of luck.

Stephanie