Mostly Harmless

[Jennifer M]

I couldnt think of anything else to call this thread, anyone who has read Douglas Adams will know what it means.

My last thread (tears) was written when I was really stressed. I thought I would try again while I am feeling alot better. I actually believe that this is some kind of gift. I have only felt like this these last few years, it was a difficult but worthwhile journey. I only wish I could have done it a long time ago. To start off, my two weeks of nightmares have stopped, I am sleeping better and work has calmed down a bit. I do have alot in my life that makes me happy and alot that I am thankful for. That includes all the amazing people on this forum.

Even though I am alone alot of times I find I am feeling ok with it more and more. I work very hard at trying to grow and it seems to be working. I do miss going out. I would go to Albany and let Jennifer free, it was amazing. There were a few times I would go down and she wouldnt be around at all. Those times I would just come home, and it was ok too. It really is a good life and I do try to make the most of it. I am so glad that we are all here for each other. It truly makes a difference. Someday I will find the confidence to go out again. I look forward to that day.

[Georgia(SO)]

I'm glad you are feeling better.

-georgia(so)

[Rikki]

Great to hear!!

[Virginia]

You're doing good, dear!

Yes, we are here to support and share with each other, so if you hit a bump in the road, let us know!

Keep the faith,

Virginia

[Lucy Michelle]

Good to know you are feeling better Jennifer, my best wishes to you.

p.s. Got the H2G2 reference

[Penni SO]

Hi ya Jennifer,

It's great to hear you are feeling alot better within yourself.

Often external happenings in our life can bring us to our knees. However you have the empowerment within to take control and guide yourself through your life as you see fit.

Jennifer will have time to be again, but perhaps for a while little more attention needs to be placed on other aspects in your life, and I am sure that she fully understands this.

Never lose hope,

hugs Penny

[Jennifer M]

Today I am Jennifer; it feels wonderful and I am at ease with myself. The days when I am Jeff I feel the same.

Today and everday that I am Jennifer the feelings of being a woman are so strong that I think about becoming one full time. I want to be a woman. The days when I am Jeff I want nothing to do with being a woman. These are the days I think about purging and stopping this. I say to myself you dont need these things, you dont need to be a girl. Thankfully I learned a long time ago to just put it all away as my femme side will return and once again I will feel like a girl and need to express it.

Since I feel good as either I can only assume that it is the large swing between the two that cause problems. Then of course there are the days when both sides want to be dominant, those really stress me out. Thats where I was the other night when I wrote the first thread. I had spent about a week going back and forth between the two and I just needed it to stop. It makes it difficult for me to understand so I imagine it also does with the few around me who are trying to understand and be supportive.

I still get amazed at how the mind works and about how little is known about it. Somehow I got wired up with both genders. I find it amazing when it doesnt have me all stressed out.

[Penni SO]

Hi ya, Jennifer,

It is amazing how the mind works.

Jennifer needs Jeff as much as Jeff needs Jennifer, I guess neither one can really move through life without the other.

Just love them both, and they will somehow help find the balance you need in life.

Hugs Penny