Up till now, my wife did not know that I am a CDer. She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered.
Well over the Labor Day weekend, I was lounging around wearing one of my Lady’s Hanes T-shirt and shorts. I was laying on the couch watching TV. She comes by, stops, looks at me and says, “Are you wearing PANTIES?” The first thought was “OH SH…..”, my next was "Dam...they must be showing", but I stayed calm and said “Yes, my rash has come back and I decided to see if your undies would not chaff me like my shorts do and so far it seems to be working”. She stares at me for what seem to be forever and then walks away. Later while we are eating lunch, I asked her if she was OK. Then she drops the bombshell, “Are you into Cross Dressing?” With my hands shaking a little I said, “Yes”. She then asked me if this was something I just recently started or have I been doing this for a long time. I said, No, that I had been doing this off and on since I was 10 years old or so and that until recently I kept it hidden. She asked why come out now. I answered that for a long time, I was ashamed of what I was and it was only since 2005 that I discovered that it was OK to be this way. I also told her that I decided to slowly integrate this, as I did not want to spring this on her all at once. I told her I had done a lot of reading and research on the Internet and that I found out that a lot of men are like myself and that a lot of them are also married. She then said that many of the things I had been doing lately, now makes sense. She then asked me if I have dress all the way. I said, “Yes”. Again I asked her if she was OK with this. She was silent for a while and then said, “Yes, but I’m not ready to see you fully dressed or have you do this 24/7”.
We let it go for then until the next day and she said that she was going to rearrange her workout schedule so I could have a couple of Saturday mornings or afternoons for myself. I could not believe she said that, so I just went over to her, hugged her, kissed her, and thanked her. Then later we had to go to WalMart and she asked me if the panties I had on had lace on top or not. I said, “No lace”. She then said, those are size 8 and we went to the ladies area. She then said, "you want all white or colored panties". Being takened back a little, I asked if colored be OK. She then picks up a six-pack of assorted plain colored satin panties in size 8. She then said, “No more wearing mine”. I said, “OK”.
I am still shocked. No screaming, No hollering, No mass crying. Don’t know what the future holds, but for now I will tread real easy and see how it goes.
Totally Busted
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JoAnnDallas
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Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
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JoAnn,
Need we remind you that one of the first three things that come to a GG's thought process besides, "Are you gay?" and "Are you going to transition?" is "What else has he been hiding from me?" ?!?
It is my considered opinion that you are far from "out of the woods" on this yet!! I don't mean to be an alarmist, but yes, you know, "baby steps" but also KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN!!! You know the old adage, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"
We can have been married to the same woman for 20 -30 years and spring this on them, especially when you have been doing it most of your life and things can change in a heart beat!
I/we all hope that it works out for you and of course one of your obligations is to keep us thoroughly informed as this new stage in your life progresses.
Good luck, hon and we are here for you! I don't mean to seem not happy for you, but having "been there done that" I can speak from first hand experience as can some of our sisters.
Love ya,
Virginia
Need we remind you that one of the first three things that come to a GG's thought process besides, "Are you gay?" and "Are you going to transition?" is "What else has he been hiding from me?" ?!?
It is my considered opinion that you are far from "out of the woods" on this yet!! I don't mean to be an alarmist, but yes, you know, "baby steps" but also KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN!!! You know the old adage, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!"
We can have been married to the same woman for 20 -30 years and spring this on them, especially when you have been doing it most of your life and things can change in a heart beat!
I/we all hope that it works out for you and of course one of your obligations is to keep us thoroughly informed as this new stage in your life progresses.
Good luck, hon and we are here for you! I don't mean to seem not happy for you, but having "been there done that" I can speak from first hand experience as can some of our sisters.
Love ya,
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
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Carla L
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JoAnne,
Don't forget the baby steps. This sounds so much like my wife and the time I told her. We also went shopping and have done so many times. It has been 6 months or more since I told her, and she still does not want to see me fully made up. There has been progress though. We go out together to buy all womens clothing, including bras, panties, dresses and makeup.
I thought she would like to see me and meet Carla, but no, not yet or maybe never.
Good luck to you.
Don't forget the baby steps. This sounds so much like my wife and the time I told her. We also went shopping and have done so many times. It has been 6 months or more since I told her, and she still does not want to see me fully made up. There has been progress though. We go out together to buy all womens clothing, including bras, panties, dresses and makeup.
I thought she would like to see me and meet Carla, but no, not yet or maybe never.
Good luck to you.
Huggs,
Carla
Carla
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JoAnnDallas
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Thanks all for you comments. I keep expecting the other foot to drop. LOL It's a little scary, not what I expected. It kinda all happened at once. I'm not sure what will happen now or what the future holds. I remember when we first got married 26 years ago and I found out about her MS. She was worried that I would not be able to handle it, but I took it day by day and after a while she relaxed about it. You all know the stats are not in our favour, so I feel lucky so far. Too many of us have had our relationship with our wifes go bad because of CDing.
I guess it helps that two weeks ago she got a new car. Her old 15 yr old Totoyta started goind bad, so we traded it in on a new 2007 Totyota Prius Hybred. Also this weekend is our 26th wedding aniversity, so taking her to the Windstar Casino for the weekend. It is only a hours drive from Dallas. Just across the border into Oklahoma, on the Chocta Indian Reservation. I'm going to call and see if I can upgrade to a suite.
I guess it helps that two weeks ago she got a new car. Her old 15 yr old Totoyta started goind bad, so we traded it in on a new 2007 Totyota Prius Hybred. Also this weekend is our 26th wedding aniversity, so taking her to the Windstar Casino for the weekend. It is only a hours drive from Dallas. Just across the border into Oklahoma, on the Chocta Indian Reservation. I'm going to call and see if I can upgrade to a suite.
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Merinda
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Tekla
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This past weekend I was on the stage crew for the 40th Anniversary for the Summer of Love in San Francisco. Its all tie-dye, and the summer of love is now the winter of love handles, still.... (This is going somewhere, stick with me here)
I go out to check on my GF, and - out of all the gin joints in all the world - who is she talking to? My ex wife. They had already been chatting long enough for my GF to invite the ex up for dinner on the way home.
Without pictures of each other, without ever having met before, what are the odds of my girlfriend finding my ex-wife in a crowd of 40-50,000?
Well, that depends on who you ask. While all my guy buds were going "Duuuude!" at me, my most favorite female coworker says: "Of course they found each other, Duh."
So, I checked out that theory, and were all the men were "Bad luck" the other 3 women I talked to were "Of course they were going to find each other, you don't know much about women do you?"
So, pardon my rather legendary cynicism, but..... If this is true...
"She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered."
... then the odds of her NOT knowing are astronomical. Even her choice of wording tends to indicate that she is playing you. She knew the answer to that question years ago. She has just been waiting to spring it.
Even if you had some reason for the Lady Hanes T-Shirt (I wear them, and I know a few other non-CDs who do because they like the lower color and the tighter, shorter sleeves make your arms look stronger), or even the 'rash' deal (Worse Excuse Ever, might I add), the long acrylic nails and shaving are a dead giveaway.
Give her (and her entire sex) some credit. After all, if you have been together for more than 10 years, she is pretty much thinking your thoughts before you have them.
A few years ago, doing one of those 'team building' meetings that Danielle loves so much, and I sit through thinking that its 3 wasted hours of my life I will never get back - we did an exercise on gender perceptions, going around the table and talking about what quality the target person had that was really more of an opposite gender quality. After, the mandatory giggles (I'm very out, there is even a picture of me in our crew room/office in a maids outfit, and what keeps the boys in line is that I have a drop dead model on one side of me and a very famous porn star on the other, both in very skimpy costumes - so its not like "You do drag?" but more like, "How can I get invited to a party like that?") two remarks about my pink tools (and I don't think that is fair, I paint them pink to find them easy, and make them unique) one of the women said something that almost made the afternoon worthwhile. She said, "You tend not to ask a question before you know the answer, and that's a very girl thing."
And I think she is right about that, men tend to ask questions to get information, women tend to use them as more of a lie detector. When she asks "Honey, where have you been?" You can bet dollars to donuts that she already knows, she is just checking to see if you will tell her the truth. (Which is a lot like when I raised my kids in a small, rural, Midwest town, and if they did anything, I had five phone calls telling me about it long before they got home. So I would casually ask, "So what were you guys up to today" not for the information, but to see what they would say.)
Really, if you have been wearing her panties, you don't think she didn't notice? Funny, she thinks to herself, I'm just at a loss as to how they got all stretched out in the front like that??? Wow, they are in the dirty laundry, and I didn't wear them? How did that happen?
I go out to check on my GF, and - out of all the gin joints in all the world - who is she talking to? My ex wife. They had already been chatting long enough for my GF to invite the ex up for dinner on the way home.
Without pictures of each other, without ever having met before, what are the odds of my girlfriend finding my ex-wife in a crowd of 40-50,000?
Well, that depends on who you ask. While all my guy buds were going "Duuuude!" at me, my most favorite female coworker says: "Of course they found each other, Duh."
So, I checked out that theory, and were all the men were "Bad luck" the other 3 women I talked to were "Of course they were going to find each other, you don't know much about women do you?"
So, pardon my rather legendary cynicism, but..... If this is true...
"She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered."
... then the odds of her NOT knowing are astronomical. Even her choice of wording tends to indicate that she is playing you. She knew the answer to that question years ago. She has just been waiting to spring it.
Even if you had some reason for the Lady Hanes T-Shirt (I wear them, and I know a few other non-CDs who do because they like the lower color and the tighter, shorter sleeves make your arms look stronger), or even the 'rash' deal (Worse Excuse Ever, might I add), the long acrylic nails and shaving are a dead giveaway.
Give her (and her entire sex) some credit. After all, if you have been together for more than 10 years, she is pretty much thinking your thoughts before you have them.
A few years ago, doing one of those 'team building' meetings that Danielle loves so much, and I sit through thinking that its 3 wasted hours of my life I will never get back - we did an exercise on gender perceptions, going around the table and talking about what quality the target person had that was really more of an opposite gender quality. After, the mandatory giggles (I'm very out, there is even a picture of me in our crew room/office in a maids outfit, and what keeps the boys in line is that I have a drop dead model on one side of me and a very famous porn star on the other, both in very skimpy costumes - so its not like "You do drag?" but more like, "How can I get invited to a party like that?") two remarks about my pink tools (and I don't think that is fair, I paint them pink to find them easy, and make them unique) one of the women said something that almost made the afternoon worthwhile. She said, "You tend not to ask a question before you know the answer, and that's a very girl thing."
And I think she is right about that, men tend to ask questions to get information, women tend to use them as more of a lie detector. When she asks "Honey, where have you been?" You can bet dollars to donuts that she already knows, she is just checking to see if you will tell her the truth. (Which is a lot like when I raised my kids in a small, rural, Midwest town, and if they did anything, I had five phone calls telling me about it long before they got home. So I would casually ask, "So what were you guys up to today" not for the information, but to see what they would say.)
Really, if you have been wearing her panties, you don't think she didn't notice? Funny, she thinks to herself, I'm just at a loss as to how they got all stretched out in the front like that??? Wow, they are in the dirty laundry, and I didn't wear them? How did that happen?
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JoAnnDallas
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Update to all.............Aniversity weekend went great. Wife and I did spend some time talking about my CDing. She is looking at it, kinda like when son and I used to goto SciFi cons, dress up in customes, and role play. She still does not want to see me all dressed, but is OK with me wearing shorts or capries and t-shirts around the house. I do have to wear socks with my sandels, unless I am going to the Nail Solon. At least now I'm not so scared waiting for the other foot to drop. LOL
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KimberlyS
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JoAnnDallas
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She told me that like when I would goto the cons and play D&D in costume. That was harmless and so is my CDing. It made me feel a whole lot better. She still does not want to see me full dressed or pictures of me fully dressed. I can live with that.
This morning, I did put on panties, bra, pull on top, capries. I shaved, made my lunch, made breakfest, and ate while watching the morning new. Then I went back into the bathroom, changed into my drab clothing, except for the panties, brushed my teeth, and then went to work. Since wife does not work, she does not get up until around 8AM.
This morning, I did put on panties, bra, pull on top, capries. I shaved, made my lunch, made breakfest, and ate while watching the morning new. Then I went back into the bathroom, changed into my drab clothing, except for the panties, brushed my teeth, and then went to work. Since wife does not work, she does not get up until around 8AM.