CD envy

[MariaA]

Hi Girls,
I went to a TG gala celebration event last night dressed as a man. Although I had a lot of fun mingling and socializing with the attendees who most of them were crossdressed I couldn’t help but realized how comfortable they all seem. There were all kinds: young ones, old ones. M to F, F to M; some of them were seemed to be fully transitioned others seem to be just crossdressed. I was amazed of how beautiful some of the girls look and realized all of the sudden that I was jealous because they seem to be having so much fun been what they want to be in front of others. I guess my jealousy was about the fact that I would love to look as sexy and feminine as they did and I guess I don’t see myself been able to come out in public like that. This is the first time I have felt like. I know that some of you may have gone through this before and I would like to hear about your experiences and advise on how to process those feelings. Thanks

[DonnaT]

IMO, there is only one way to process those feelings. Let them go.

I'd venture a wager that not everyone at the TG event was passable. But did they care? Nope. They were just being themselves.

Now, going out in public, and not a TG event is a different matter. But when hanging out with other TGs, don't worry about passing. No-one is there to judge you.

[Carla L]

I've gone out about 10 times now. I still get jitters as soon as I walk into the first store, head to the restroom to check myself and always feel better. I've yet to have anyone come up to me. I have no one to go out with, but i have so much fun.

I hold my head up high, talk normal only with a lighter tone and hope for the best. I've even used my credit card numerous times without incident. And on the back is printed: NO ID = NO GOOD.

No one has asked me for an ID when I've been dressed. (luckily!)

As the Nike Ads say: Just Do IT!

[Carol Ann]

MariaA,
My sister DonnaT is correct listen to what she has to say. As for me I learned a long time ago through Tri-Ess we are all sisters no matter how we look.

[Anita]

Hi Maria--
There is much less judgment going on at TG events. The main worry there is in the getting to and fro. There are very few events where one can change and do makeup at the event site, and it is always a compromise to have to do that. The bathroom mirrors at our support group meeting site are not good makeup mirrors, but sometimes we have to use them.

For me, it can be very hard to go to a TG event dressed as a guy, and I try not to put myself through that. If that's the only way you feel comfortable at a TG event, then by all means go however you can. But it puts a wedge between you and other T-girls. Sometimes it's a small wedge, and other times it can seem like a big one. This happens even with people who know me as a woman--when I show up dressed differently, they don't know exactly how to deal with me.

You're also right about the envy--I start wishing I were dressed, too, when I'm around others who are. If you know what the experience is like, you don't really want to be on the sidelines watching it; you want to be participating yourself.

[Absaroka]

Welcome to feeling like a woman. What percent of GG's sometimes feel like they wish they could be as pretty and sexy as some other (probably younger) woman.

Maybe next time you can go as the woman you have inside you, whatever she may look like.

Absaroka

[Tekla]

No matter where you go, no matter how you are dressed, or what you are doing, someone is going to be better looking, richer, thiner, or whatever. So it goes. You just have to go out and do your thing regardless.

[Kendra Lynn]

Hello all: Well, sometimes the photos that come back after a "dressing" experience look really good, sometimes not.
Depends on: the outfit, make-up job, wig, lighting, photographer, camera angle, and probably lots more.
Actually some of our colleagues can be quite judgemental about the appearances of others.
Since I do not drive, I must use public transportation while "dressed." Initially I was scared to get on METRO, and there have been a few incidents I could describe as "teasing," but I haven't run into any serious problems yet.
So either I'm passable enough most of the time, or the other subway riders are being polite, or they just don't notice.
Incidentally, my definition of a "safe space" is one in which people know exactly what I'm doing, but are either supportive or don't care. I do not alter my voice much when dressed, so after I open my mouth it's obvious what's going on. Although I actually have been "ma'amed" a number of times by cashiers and others-- either they were just being polite, are well trained, or really did believe they saw a woman.
That's about it from here for now.
Peace'n'Luv-- Kendra Lynn.

[ShamrockFaerie(SO)]

I aggree with what abrasoka said..... Welcome to womanhood.

Part of being a woman is that constant, nagging insecurity.... The urge to constantly compare yourself to others (even though most women never measure up in our own minds) is inherently female. And jealousy over looks, fitness, wealth, etc, while not really healthy or helpful, is completely natural.

Try not to worry. And total KUDOS to you for taking METRO en femme. I used to live in the DC metro area and saw enough CDs and TSs out and about, but very few who had the courage to really do things "their own way".

And take heart..... I'm a GG, and I think you're totally beautiful.

-Tiffany

[Virginia]

Remember what I say, that when a GG rolls out of bed each morning and her feet hit the floor, she is a GG -------- we ain't!!!! We have to work at it, not that a lot of GG's don't work at looking nice (no I am not going to go there and get drug off to the woodshed again).

It has been my experience that when we (crossdressers) go out depending on where we are going we will usually dress to the occasion.

If we are going clubbing with our own kind, so to speak, yes a lot of us tend to dress a lot more sultry, if you will, than we would going out to IHop or Ruby Tuesdays. Other than clubbing most of us will try to blend in up to a point. If I may digress, Virginia will not be seen at the mall or in a restaurant in ratty jeans, torn sweat shirt, no make-up and holey tennis shoes, just not my style, but that is just me!

I have gone to socials and clubbing and have seen other girls and have been envious of what they wore and how they looked in it. I have also mentally critiqued others ---well, it's a girl thing, is it not?!

I like to sit and watch the girls on TV, weather girls, news babes, whatever, and definitely critique them. Like, "I can't believe they actually let her wear that on screen" or "huh? don't you think that skirt is a bit short?" or wrong shade of lipstick for that hair color!" Don't we all do it?? Yes, it's a girl thing!

I remember going to an event with several other girls and we passed two GG's, both young(er) and with mini-skirts on and one of the girls in our group said as she critiqued these two gg's "well Virginia, you have nice legs, but ............ damn!" I looked and that pretty much said it. That girl (by taste I guess) but that girl had the most perfect legs I think I have ever seen on a woman! Jealous, oh yeah, impressed? oh, yeah! happy to have been blessed to have seen them? for sure!!!!!!

We would hope that "it comes with the territory" to be concerned, apprehensive, about our appearance. I can only speak for me, but I notice that in a relaxed atmosphere, like a TG friendly club, restaurant, etc that I tend to totally forget what I am wearing, the feminine presentation just comes naturally. In amongst the great unwashed, I am much more attentive to how I present. I am not a GG but I can only assume that GG's in some? most? instances are concerned with their appearance at all times!

Love,

Virginia

[Georgia(SO)]

Ok. I gotta ask.

Virginia said,

If I may digress, Virginia will not be seen at the mall or in a restaurant in ratty jeans, torn sweat shirt, no make-up and holey tennis shoes, just not my style, but that is just me!

Is this attention to detail and style just Virginia, or is your male side equally fashionable?

-georgia(so)

[Virginia]

I knew it when I hit the submit button! Guess I just can't win, huh?

How shall I put this? ................... how about, Virginia will NOT allow her male alter-ego to go out in public in "ratty jeans, torn sweat shirt and holey tennis shoes"; as for the make-up or lack thereof, well, that's another story!

Just a reflection of my up-bringing, I guess. No offense intended to anyone - Damn, I just can't seem to get anything right lately!

Love ya anyway,

Virginia

[Absaroka]

So how did he dress before Virginia made her appearance?

Absaroka

[Linda S]

Hello all: Well, sometimes the photos that come back after a "dressing" experience look really good, sometimes not.
Depends on: the outfit, make-up job, wig, lighting, photographer, camera angle, and probably lots more.
Actually some of our colleagues can be quite judgemental about the appearances of others.
Since I do not drive, I must use public transportation while "dressed." Initially I was scared to get on METRO, and there have been a few incidents I could describe as "teasing," but I haven't run into any serious problems yet.
So either I'm passable enough most of the time, or the other subway riders are being polite, or they just don't notice.
Incidentally, my definition of a "safe space" is one in which people know exactly what I'm doing, but are either supportive or don't care. I do not alter my voice much when dressed, so after I open my mouth it's obvious what's going on. Although I actually have been "ma'amed" a number of times by cashiers and others-- either they were just being polite, are well trained, or really did believe they saw a woman.
That's about it from here for now.
Peace'n'Luv-- Kendra Lynn.

I really enjoy my trips on the DC Metro - so much, in fact, that getting to wherever I'm going is often most of the fun. It's a thrill to be out there on my own, without the "safety net" of being able to head back to my car. And it's a chance to try out different "looks" - in the daytime I can be a career girl confidently striding down K Street in my all-business skirt suit (but with a nice slit over one leg, just for fun!), and on a Friday or Saturday night, I can put on a miniskirt or skinny jeans and tall boots to go clubbing around DuPont Circle. Even had a guy try to pick me up while I was waiting for a train!

[Virginia]

Well Absaroka, since you asked. From age 4 through 18 I wore a uniform, virtually 24/7 as I was in military schools. I think some now call them prep schools, but I carried an M-1 Grande and we marched and played soldier. In college again, uniforms both ROTC and football. Since I also worked my way thorough college holding down upto three jobs at a time, I wore again various uniforms from waiter to life guard. Oh, and my gi, seems my sensi would not give me my black belt without it. After college, the entire spectrum of Naval gear from dress whites to my flight gear. I guess the only time I "dressed down" was my stint with the SEALS. They were not really big on dressing up!

After the Navy, in the business world I was required to wear a suit and tie because of the clientele I dealt with, Dr's, lawyers, bankers, I had to dress the part. Success sells success!

Now since I have retired I can wear dresses all I want!!!!!!!

Hope that is the history you sought!? If not I would be more than willing to go into more detail I just can't remember the name of my tailors in Hong Kong, old age I guess!

Virginia