I wanted to pop in and say Hi to all of you. My name is Rebecca. I'm 37, divorced twice, and in a long-term relationship that is unfortunately extremely on the rocks (not due to my crossdressing). I have four children, two my own, and two my SO's (although I completely think of them as my own.) All of them are late teens or beyond.
My story is so much like all of yours. I've been struggling with my crossdressing urges and feminity my entire life - however, I have managed to stay in denial almost the entire time, to the point that I have trouble remembering quite a bit of my childhood. I think maybe that's the worst part. If I could do it all over again.... Anyway, something tripped in my brain recently, and I find overwhelmed by the over 30 years of hiding, and unable to do so any longer. My SO 'knows' about my crossdressing, but we haven't had "the talk", so she is totally in denial and has no clue how deep it runs in me. She just thinks I like to paint my toenails (well, she knows more than that, but like I said - Denial.)
I've been lurking on this site and another, trying to get some answers, trying to feel less like a freak, trying to understand and gain some control (yeah, right) - and just wanted to give a big THANK YOU to all of you wonderful girls and SOs for how supportive you are to each other. I'm sure some of you can understand how difficult it was to take the step from lurking to participating, but I think I'm finally at the point that I need some interaction with people who understand you and care about you.
I don't know what my future holds, and to be honest, that scares me to death. I've always been one to grab my life by the hair and drag it where I want it to go, working through some pretty difficult times. I guess this is just the next test for me. Unfortunately, by its nature alone, I'm not sure that I have the tiger firmly enough by the tail. I guess I'll just hold on tight and see where I'm dragged. Hopefully, I'll stay on my feet and keep my dignity.
Look for me on the forums, girls!
Hello from Rebecca
Moderator: DonnaT
-
Rebecca Liz
- New Member
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:58 am
- Location: Antelope, CA
- Contact:
-
SilverLady(SO)
- Retired Site Administrator
- Posts: 5419
- Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:00 am
- Location: Strange Magic Hill (Virginia)
Proud Military Family - Navy, Army, Coast Guard, National Guard -
Carla L
- Miss Platinum Goddess
- Posts: 478
- Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007 2:58 pm
- Location: Michigan
- Contact:
-
Lucy Michelle
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 728
- Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 9:46 pm
-
KimberlyS
- Site Administrator
- Posts: 3341
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:01 pm
- Location: North Central USA, SD
Re: Hello from Rebecca
Welcome Rebecca, I wish you luck on your path of finding your self and self acceptance. Just remember we are all different. Come here for guidance and look within to find out who you really are. Life is a journey down the ever changing road. It is not a destination.
Sorry your relationship is a bit rocky now. Communication, communication, communication is usually the best thing for working through problems. Talking and listening, and more talking and more listening. Along with trying to see things from their point of view.
KimberlyS-CD
joe in a skirt
Sorry your relationship is a bit rocky now. Communication, communication, communication is usually the best thing for working through problems. Talking and listening, and more talking and more listening. Along with trying to see things from their point of view.
KimberlyS-CD
joe in a skirt
Site Administrator
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
I am a physically male person that likes to wear feminine clothes at times.
Just trying keep a balance for my self along with keeping my wife and kids in mind.
-
Virginia
- Goddess of the Universe
- Posts: 5543
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 4:06 pm
- Location: Strange Magic Hill
Welcome Rebecca,
Acknowledging your "gift" removes any definition of being a "freak." Most of us learn to cherish this aspect of our being. What you seem to be seeking is a way to realize this part of you is just that and find a way to, shall I say, "live with it!"
I can only say for me -- it is a blessing!
Hope you stay and participate.
Virginia
Acknowledging your "gift" removes any definition of being a "freak." Most of us learn to cherish this aspect of our being. What you seem to be seeking is a way to realize this part of you is just that and find a way to, shall I say, "live with it!"
I can only say for me -- it is a blessing!
Hope you stay and participate.
Virginia
First star to the right, then straight on 'till mornin!
-
Rebecca Liz
- New Member
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:58 am
- Location: Antelope, CA
- Contact:
Thank you all so much for the warm welcome. I'm really looking forward to getting to know all of you.
Kimberly, thank you for your words of wisdom. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and plan on continuing to do so. As for my relationship... well, communication is my strong point - unfortunately, not so much hers. But I'm trying, and listening, and doing my best to see everything from her point of view. Only time will tell. But thank you for your support.
Virginia, I'm very happy for you, for embracing your gift so completely. That, too, is my aim. After so many years of suppressing and denying it, I am having to work past the social stigmas and accept what I am. I make more and more strides down this path daily. My oldest daughter is very aware of my gender issues, and is so very supportive - she has been such a blessing!! I'm hoping the rest of my family is as supportive when I tell them (which is going to be very soon.) My SO and children should not be shocked - they already tease me about being such a girl. I actually Love what I have discovered about myself (well, actually, allowed myself conscious self to know); I'm just very fearful of the repurcussions it will have on my life. But as Kimberly said, life is a journey down the ever changing road - and mine just veered in a completely different direction
My only regret is having repressed this for so long - if I could do it all again, my journey would be completely different. But I guess I wouldn't have my beautiful children then, would I? I would never give them up.
Kimberly, thank you for your words of wisdom. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately, and plan on continuing to do so. As for my relationship... well, communication is my strong point - unfortunately, not so much hers. But I'm trying, and listening, and doing my best to see everything from her point of view. Only time will tell. But thank you for your support.
Virginia, I'm very happy for you, for embracing your gift so completely. That, too, is my aim. After so many years of suppressing and denying it, I am having to work past the social stigmas and accept what I am. I make more and more strides down this path daily. My oldest daughter is very aware of my gender issues, and is so very supportive - she has been such a blessing!! I'm hoping the rest of my family is as supportive when I tell them (which is going to be very soon.) My SO and children should not be shocked - they already tease me about being such a girl. I actually Love what I have discovered about myself (well, actually, allowed myself conscious self to know); I'm just very fearful of the repurcussions it will have on my life. But as Kimberly said, life is a journey down the ever changing road - and mine just veered in a completely different direction
My only regret is having repressed this for so long - if I could do it all again, my journey would be completely different. But I guess I wouldn't have my beautiful children then, would I? I would never give them up.-
Stephanie W
- Miss Golden Goddess
- Posts: 905
- Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 9:57 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
Hi Rebecca and 
to the forum.
I'm glad to see you took that first step and made that connection to your fellow sisters here. No one will judge you and you'll find all the support and encouragement you'll need as you make up for that lost time. Best of luck with telling the family when that time comes. Just be true to yourself and you won't go far wrong.
Nice to have you join us.
Stephanie
to the forum. I'm glad to see you took that first step and made that connection to your fellow sisters here. No one will judge you and you'll find all the support and encouragement you'll need as you make up for that lost time. Best of luck with telling the family when that time comes. Just be true to yourself and you won't go far wrong.
Nice to have you join us.
Stephanie