Burn Out

[Carol Ann]

Today I think I hit the burn out point as I was playing outside with a new pup we got. Girls, women don't roll around in the grass playing with puppy dogs wearing a dress. I had to stop and think why, why am I doing this.
Everyday after my morning shower I put on my panties and bra my makeup and get dressed. There seems to be no more fun no kick or zing in getting dress just a habit anymore just putting on cloths.
Could I have reach that point in life where as a CD'er I'm just burned out?.

I don't know, there just isn't anymore fun in it.

[Caith]

Carol Ann, rather than thinking of it as burn-out, maybe you could accept that it's become totally comfortable for you. Just because the thrill and excitement is gone, doesn't mean you can't enjoy being yourself. Sometimes I think we spend so much of our life hiding and sneaking, that we become accustomed to the excitement when we dress. Once it's more routine and not hidden, we need to learn to do without the stress and excitement, and just enjoy it. I hope you feel better about it soon.

[Elizabeth]

Carol Ann,

Is it this feeling of exitement that drives you to dress or is it something else? If it is only the excitement, then of course at some point it will stop feeling new and exciting and start feeling ordinary. That is not always a bad thing. In fact for me, I was glad when I started feeling ordinary, not on the verge of an adrenaline rush all the time.

As far as feeling good about myself, well that is different. It's hard for me to see myself in the mirror and not smile. Not sure why, it just makes me happy to be reminded I am living the life I always wanted.

But having said all that, there are still times when dressing makes me feel great. When I put on an outfit that I really like, or my nail polish turns out perfect or my smooth legs touch each other and I am reminded how sweet it is to be able to enjoy these simple things.

There is this sense of relief that never subsides. This feeling that I am doing what I want. Just enjoying my life as a woman. Not having any male expectations on me. Being who I was intended to be. I feel quite contented now. Maybe it's not all exciting like the first time I went out dressed, but it's still wonderful in so many other ways.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Michelle]

Carol Anne,

This is purely my opinion, for what it's worth (or not). I don't think it's as bad as 'burned out', but merely that dressing has become routine, so the thrill has gone out of it for you, but only temporarily.

I'm 61 years old, and have been dressing for about 48 of them and I still get a thrill out of dressing up all girly.

But the same thing has happened for me, usually when I've been able to dress unhindered for a long time(e,g. months)


Believe me, if you stop for a while, the urge will return, just as strong as ever, and the old thrill will be back.


I've always gone by the idea that if ever dressing loses its excitement for me, I'll stop. Why do something that's not fun?

Those times,when I've been all dressed up, and going through the motions of everyday life, but with no more excitement than when I was in drab mode, I've said to myself, 'Why am I doing this?' I could be doing some of the ordinary, fun ,essential things I also like to do.
So I've stopped, changed into drab, gotten on with other things, not CD related.

I've replaced the timing belt on my son's car, built a deck on my house, restored old furniture, had landscape painting lessons,- lots of fun things. That's been enough to let my 'CD batteries' 'recharge' , and they have, invariably. After a period of just being a 'man' again, I've gotten that old 'urge' back.


My advice to you is; Go by your feelings ;if it's no longer fun, then give it a rest. When you feel like doing it again, start. But don't be worried that you won't ever like dressing again; it's too strong a force for that.

You can rest assured that it won't be forever; after you've not dressed for a while, you'll get that old urge again. Then' Have a Ball.'

Hugs, Michelle

[Lisbeth]

Carol Ann,

I agree with Michelle. I don't think you're burnt out with dressing, just in a slump. We all have periods of time where a little change is necessary, for what ever reason. There's an old expression I like. If you're living on steak everyday sometimes a hot dog tastes just fine.
I'm glad that you didn't purge and go through all that B.S. about having to start all over in a few weeks or months gathering another wardrobe.
Only you know what you want and need and only you can decide to make your life the way you want it to be. And it's entirely up to you if you feel like wearing heels or steel tips today.
Relax. There isn't a pop quiz on any of this at any time. Just be yourself no matter what you want to be wrapped in that day.

Lisbeth

[Lydia]

Hi Carol Anne,

Michelle is absolutely right. It is quite usual to experience ups and downs in your CD needs. Whatever you do, don't purge. It's expensive and a nuisance to re-wardrobe.

In my case, I automatically put on a bra and panties as soon as I'm out of bed. Then after tooth-brushing and shaving, come the blouse, skirt, etc. I don't feel comfortable with breakfast until I am dressed. I always experience a feeling of well-being and elation when dressed. Then some minor depression when I have to go drab to go to work, and comparable delight if I'm off that day and can stay en femme.

I used to go through periods of weeks or more, without any desire to dress. But then, suddenly, the intense requirement re-appears. In any case, don't try to explain it, just enjoy it.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Absaroka]

I strongly agree with the idea of just going with what your feelings are at the moment.

If you do something enough it becomes routine. Just common sense.

Plus a great many GGs really like not dressing girly some of the time. The highlight of my wifes weekend is being able to wear jeans, sweats, and tees and do yard work and the like. And yes if we had a dog she would be playing with it. She wears a bra because she has to and would rather not.

So I'd say that in not liking to get dressed up you have achieved a new level of feminimity.

Absaroka

[DonnaT]

I reckon it's true that most women don't roll around in the grass playing with puppy dogs wearing a dress. But does that really have anything to do with the burned out feeling? I doubt it. More of a being sensible type feelig, I would think.

When I dress around the house I don't get a thrill from it, and I don't do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy another need brought on from being transgendered dual-gendered, what ever you want to call it.

The thrill comes when dressing and getting out, sometimes. Or when finding something new.

So, want to get a thrill, dress and go down town

[Sally]

Hi there Carol Ann,

It’s good that you can speak out about your feelings openly and honestly, and it’s great that we have this ‘community’ forum available to us, and community isn’t about who we like or not, it’s about sharing information, helping others and giving encouragement to others to develop themselves in a positive way. I’ve often spoken about reality and the need to see things as they really are at any given time, and not just how we’d like them to be, so we can grow in a positive manner. We should never trade one pretence for another and I know that honesty doesn’t necessarily mean the quickest path to a destination in our case, but then it’s not really about the destination, because the only destination we’re sure of is the final one, what is important is what we do along the way. It can be all too easy at times to persue the dream, but, we all have our own desire for happiness and we have many varying ideas of how to achieve it, but we gain nothing if we only have the dream and deny the reality. Maybe you need to think about the possibly there’s a new phase or point in your path which you need to explore.

I realize that only we as individuals know exactly what our true feelings are, but sometimes we can gather some snippet of helpful information from others which when thought about can be of great benefit to us. For me some years ago it came in the form of realizing that being transgendered was only a part of me, it was only another part which went to make up the whole of me. I’m many other things in this life and the reality is that this is just a part of who I am and allowing it to dominate my life was not helping my day to day quality of life.

I also came to the conclusion that this part of me involved two complete separate divisions. First there was the physical side of it all which was solved partly by female hormones and anti-androgens initiating physical body changes, and they also helped immensely with the spiritual and emotional side too. The clothing side is not an issue with me now, it is just the normal preferred way to dress and I never dwell on what I’m wearing in my day to day life. I would mention though that it’s still very nice to get all dressed up to the nines to go out to a special occasion, but I’d mention that the biggest thrill to me comes when I’m out and another woman looks me over and it’s obvious she approves very much of what I’m wearing, and often with some degree of envy, and that gives me a buzz.

The other part is the spiritual part of it all, and by this I’m not referring to religion in any sense, what I mean is that it’s about how we cope with the world around us in everyday terms, it’s about the reality and core of a person’s very being. It’s about recognizing that the path we’ve gone down to get where we are at this very point in time comes from within our own core identity, it’s the spiritual sense of abandoning any pretence about who we really are or are not. I realize we all travel our own individual twists and turns along the path we’ve traveled so far, but sometimes we fail to recognize the signs that there is a need for more. I’m not daring to suggest that you may be something other than what you believe yourself to be, all I’m saying is that possibly your discontent with dressing is the product of the need to explore other possibilities. Sometimes arriving at the point where we can just live a normal every day happy life in the gender which is right for us as an individual isn’t as straight forward as we may think, sometimes we need more, sometimes we have to step back from the physical and embrace the spiritual person which comes from our own true core identity.

I wish you well and I’m sure you’ll work through it all for the better.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[JoAnnDallas]

Hi Carol Anne,

Recently I was filling up the SUV with gasoline, when I decieded to go into the station store and buy a bottle of water. I was dressed as a woman and I felt like a woman. So I just went in and bought my bottle of cold water. I was totally relaxed. I did not care about the buzz.
I think I reached the point that all of us strive for. No need for the buzz or anything. Just being myself and enjoying the day.

[Carol Ann]

First before I get into this I want to thank all the wonderful people who took the time to write such kind words and great words of wisdom and advice.

Today at the request of my wife she said "why don't you go and get yourself all dolled up for me". You see I haven't dress since I posted last as I was still trying to figure out things for myself. I believe the thing that was bothering me is my dressing everyday but only casual as any GG would do around the house. Ya I know GG don't doll up everyday for everyday work around the house or what ever.

So I guess I answer my own problem as to what is normal, oh but I think a girl can still put on her face and look nice.

So today right now I have this beautiful black lace see through blouse on with a matching black skirt with lace all around the bottom for trim and a pair of very sheer light smoke black stockings with matching heels.

Long story short I feel like who I am, what I am and just live it to it's fullest. Tomorrow is a dress down day as it's grocery day and the wife still said no to letting me go out in public.
One day down the line that will change also.

Now she doesn't mine me wearing a bra in public as long as it's not a bra I put my forms into, in fact she has never said a word about my loafers and stocking so I guess that is ok too. Oh with jeans and shirt I should say.

In closing thank you all again,
Carol Ann

[Anita]

Tomorrow is a dress down day as it's grocery day and the wife still said no to letting me go out in public.
One day down the line that will change also.

I hope it does. That wasn't part of the original subject, but I like seeing that you intend to negotiate about that.

I get "slumps" that have little to do with CDing, but it just happens that the dressing requires extra effort. When I'm feeling down, anything that requires extra effort doesn't seem worth the energy it's going to take. So that's my very narrow personal take on what you posted.

A friend of mine at work years ago said, "Ya know, I've been so depressed that I can't get up enough motivation to put the garbage can out on the street for collection." He was ordinarily a very active, motivated man, and he had no judgments about himself being depressed. He was watching it happen, and trying to work his way through it.

So it makes sense to me that when we get depressed in the normal up and down of our lives, CDing would be one of the first things affected.

[KimberlyS]

Carol Ann, I am glad you figured out what was happening. Just when we think we have it together something like this happens. Thats our ever changing life.

What has been working for me is to vary my CDing based on my mood, feelings and tasks for the day. Most my CDing is presenting my more male self but wearing a mix of masculine clothes (outer and under) and feminine clothes ( androgynous outer and femme under). Most days I just grab and mix and match. Some days I feel more feminine and purposely grab more or all femme clothes. And other days I grab more all masculine clothes. Like today the only femme thing I am wearing is my boots. Yesterday I was about half and half if I remember correctly. IMHO, this allows me to just be comfortable with who I am and not have my masculine/feminine fight for time or feel left out for the most part. And if I feel I need to be a bit more outwardly feminine and I do not have any time coming ups soon, my wife and I work out something, either around home with the kids gone or an out and about.

Works for me.

KimberlyS-Cd
joe in a skirt

[Georgia(SO)]

Carol Ann said

...but only casual as any GG would do around the house. Ya I know GG don't doll up everyday for everyday work around the house or what ever.

Made me giggle because one day not too long ago, I came home and found my sweetie on his hands and knees, mini skirt, tank top and real honest-to-God Hanes stockings, scrubbing the kitchen floor - it occurred to me that he had watched WAY too much of Mrs. Cleaver cleaning house in heels, pearls and stockings!

But, hey, he was happily scrubbing the floor! Works for me...

-g(so)

[KimberlyS]

.... it occurred to me that he had watched WAY too much of Mrs. Cleaver cleaning house in heels, pearls and stockings!

Georgia, I guess I did also. I love putting on a skirt and doing things around the house. One time I wore a long skirt and chunky platform heels to clean the carpets. The heels worked good as my feet did not get wet like my wifes. But the long skirt got in the way and had to change to a shorter one.