Question for you GGs

[CJ]

Hi Nancy,

Count me in! Got me some walking heels and a bullhorn! I'm ready.

Love,
CJ

[Nancy]

glad to have you join us CJ now we are up to 3.6!

[CJ]

Hi all,

As I've said before, I'm not much of a politically motivated person (I tend to act locally--very locally! ), but for those of you that are, you might want to check out the following page. A cool feature: it lets you search for TG advocacy resources by geographical region or by state. Plus, it's chock full of tips and ideas regarding activism.

Hope you enjoy!

Love,
Christina

http://www.gender.org/

[Amber(SO)]

Just my opinion, but I agree with Lefty wholeheartedly. If you feel comfortable going out in Victoria's Secret clothing, do you really care what Joe Blow thinks? I am a GG and wear men's jeans all the time. They fit better on me than women's. Actually, I have fond memories of my mother trying boys jeans on me in Sears at about age 7 or 8 because the girl's sizes were too curvy for my boys shaped butt. I wear alot of my SO's clothes, because they are more comfortable on me and because my legs are too long for average length women's clothes.

I do agree that if Kyra walked into work tomorrow with one of my peasant blouses on, they would flip out. Work is not necessarily the right place to start a revolution though. If you want to wear women's clothes out, try just a regular restaraunt or club. Many may look but what are they going to do? Walk up to you and ask you some personal question? Probably not. If they do have the guts to ask you something personal, maybe they need to hear the blunt truth.

People are not going to change until enough CDs force them to accept it. Do you really think that the sexual revolution was easy for women? We were considered sluts and whores if we went out in tight pants or shirts without a bra. If we had sex before marriage we were also considered whores or at least "easy lays." What I'm trying to get at is that anything worth having is not easy.

One more thing...Kyra always has said I am blunt and outspoken. Yes I have many "masculine" traits. Perhaps this is part of what attracts CDs to a certain type of woman. It seems that several of us SOs have very strong wills and are somewhat outspoken. In my opinion we are not the typical demure, shy, quiet "female" type. We may be all female on the outside, but there may be a closet "male mind" behind that facade. Just something to ponder.

Amber

[Oregon (SO)]

Dixie's original post sort of morphed into another one.


BUt I wanted to answer this first, before moving onto Leftys really cool one too...

>Have any of you GGs ever felt a masculine side of your personality from >within or had a desire to give physical expression to such a feeling if >you’ve ever had one?

Being an only child and a girl at that, and growing up where I did, South Texas from a mixed background (hispanic/anglo) my Dad was really intent to raise me to have the attitude that anything a boy could do I could as well. He never wanted me being a girl to mentally restrict me from becoming a full person. My mom on the other hand, very traditioanl Spanish lady wanted me to be a "little princess". Now somehow I came out enjoying being a girly girl as much as I liked being a tomboy. My whole life I have looked at this as wearing different hats. Sometimes in my old job I had to wear a masculine hat to be taken seriously and hopefuly looked at as an equal. But on time off I wore my feminine hat and enjoyed doing traditonally womanly things.

I never looked as it being impossible or wrong or strange or anything out of the ordinary to be a person who could take what parts of each personality feature (male or female) and borrow the ones I like as I saw fit.

So in essence, I dont' feel a huge masculine presence, but I do feel that when the mood strikes me I can pull out the masculine hat and it should not be an 'issue'.


>Most of you will probably answer ‘no’. If, however, you HAVE had such feelings, what (if anything) did you do because of them? My guess is that you’ve probably never had really deep inward stirrings along such lines, and until you have the same inner feelings and desires to emulate a MALE as a CD does to emulate a female, it’s pretty close to an impossibility for you to understand what goes on inside the heart and sole of a crossdresser. You’ll have to admit, it’s darn near impossible for a non-crossdressing GG to understand this motivation to dress that we males have. I guess you might could say that it IS a “guy thing” as I saw one >>reply call it

I agree, I never felt a sense of being the wrong 'gender' as I like my female body and mentally I think I came out the way I was intended.

BUT...I still feel that one's interest in life (be it football or make up) should be expressed and not squashed. I dont' look at traits like those as exclusive to on gender alone. I never has. That could be why it seems as natural to me when my husband wants to walk on the feminine side of life on ocasion. To me it is a non issue, he is just taking off his masculine hat and trading it for my fluffy pink one for a while.

He has no deep gender conflict and enjoys has masculine side as much as his femme side, so I guess that is why I don't freak out too much. If there was every a feeling that he was resentful of his male side it might make things different , but that is not our life.

Now Leftys post:
There is no difference between what a man can do and what a woman can do.

The only thing that holds a person back from what they want in life is themselves.

Do not wait for a TransGender revolution to be started by your neighbor.

This is your lifetime ( I don't mean you personally, Nancy..hee hee..I mean each of us as human beings )

We should all have the right to wear whatever we would like .
Something we can do about it as citizens is try to get the laws changed
to protect people's choices and safety in this matter.

Comfort is another story altogether
______________________________

I agree. People complain about not being able to wear what they want or act the way they want, but so much comes down to life choices. Now I know not everyone has thhe luxery to make that happen, and for many who have choose not to be open about their tgism from the start, it can cetainly make things really tricky.


KNowing from the 'get go' when I started dating my husband I made it very clear to him that I was not about 'living our Amanda/kathy life in the closet". I had to move to a new country to be with him and I truly did not want to have live a secret life, at least for the most part. I consciously made decisions to only make close friends with women I felt would understand us.

We dont' go shouting it from rooftops, but I also don't desguise my like for feminine guys, traits, or the like.

I figure anyone that wants to be around me, or have me as a friend will have to be tolerant of who I am. So far since I have taken this attitude, I have really only lost one female friend.

Hugs
kathy in canada

[Nancy]

Do I really care how Joe Blow thinks? Well, I guess I do. I have been conditioned to all of my life and though I try not to let how others think about how I present myself effect how I live, I still find my self thinking and wondering about what others are thinking about me?

Am I being told here that with all the things women do to make them selves up and to shop and shop and shop to find just the right items that will compliment who and what they are it's not because they take into concideration how others think? Why the billions of dollars a year do women spend on cosmetics, hair, nails and skin care? Just walk through any mall count the number of womens clothes, shoes and accessorie stores.

I hear you ladies say it about not being worried how others may think but I still see somthng else. Oh, no doubt that there are really such people that do not care how others think but from my point of view those that are that way are in a different place than I am.

Please, I am not wanting to get anyone fired up about this cause I think you ladies do care or you would not all be so nice or be here and to engage in some of the topics on this forum.

Nancy pushes the submit button, stands up, and runs for cover....

[CJ]

...right into the waiting arms of Christina!

Hi Nancy,

I think there's conditioning going on (and conditioning to be broken) on both sides of the fence: whereas we were conditioned to believe that "only women can do that," women, on the other hand were conditioned to believe that "women can only do that."

What many of us most desire, many women have long struggled to abandon. Will we ever see eye to eye? Probably not. Should we continue to try? Yes.

Love,
CJ

[Amber(SO)]

Nancy,
You are totally right in saying you care about what Joe Blow thinks. However, my intention in saying that was to help you to decide what is more important to you... being yourself, in every way or...worrying about what everyone, whom you don't know, thinks. I realize that those close to you are a different story altogether. Remember what Abe Lincoln said: "You can't please all the people all the time". I know that this is something that is "beyond the norm", but then most things are until someone tries them, then someone else, etc. etc. Hope I didn't step on your toes.
XOXO, Amber

[Marilyn]

Hope I didn't step on your toes.

Especially if she was wearing open-toes!

Hugs.

[LeftyRainbow(SO)]

Nancy,

Alot of women wear clothes ,cosmetics, and accessories for their own enjoyment .

Have you ever heard women say that they do not dress up to impress men but for themselves.

I look at crossdressing in my relationship with the same point of view.

Dressing pretty makes my SO feel good and I think that's terrific!

Everybody deserves to be able to feel attractive.

It makes for a happier healthier human

Lefty

[Nancy]

Have you ever heard women say that they do not dress up to impress men but for themselves.

No, and I am being honest here I have never heard a women (GG) say this. To be honest the only thing I have heard GG's say is, why would a guy want to be a woman? It takes so much time and hard work just to be presentable.

Then again I have really lead a sheltered life when I was growing up I spent most of my time alone in the closet while most other kids were getting out and on with their lives. So there is a lot I have not heard others say.

[Oregon (SO)]

Nancy said:
Am I being told here that with all the things women do to make them selves up and to shop and shop and shop to find just the right items that will compliment who and what they are it's not because they take into concideration how others think?
_________________________________________________________
I think it does go into some consideration. What others think.

But i will be honest. I love clothing. I always have, even when I did not have money to buy the labels and name brands that I covet. I love make up. I love trying new products, trying new looks, and generally just love looking funky and different. Same goes for hair. I rarely keep the same hairstyle for more than 6 months. Although i have broken my rule as of late because I found a thing that I absolutely LOVE on me.

ANyway, my point is...I have always done these things, not necessarily for guys, other women, or what is considered 'cool'. I do alot of what I do becuase it makes 'me' feel good. I like looking in the mirror and liking what I see. I think I feel better when I am all in my element of nice clothing.fun make up/ and my crazy hair. I will go as far to admit that I can even turn myself on becuase I think I look hot. It brings me hapiness to find myself attractive. Is that vanity or am I being shallow? i dont' know, and frankly at this point, I dont' care.

ALot of peopele assume women dress to attract men or to impress other women, but for me, I am my number one critic and I am the person I want to impress. I suppose secondly is my husband. But I dont' dress sexy or a certain way to please him. That is for sure, becuase alot of times we have totally different tastes in clothing. He appreacaites our differences, but I think he knows it is not my goal to please him 100% with my appearance. My appearance is for me. If he or anyone else for that matter likes it, that is fine, but not my whole intention.

Nancy said:
>No, and I am being honest here I have never heard a women (GG) say this. To be honest the only thing I have heard GG's say is, why would a guy want to be a woman? It takes so much time and hard work just to be presentable>

Well, honey you have been hanging around some different gg's!
I say that with a smile.

I absolutely buy into the idea of a guy dressing as a woman because it is liek playing 'pretend' or just being someone different for a while. Even if just in appearance.

I can guarantee that there will always be women who only look 'good' (what ever that means now a days) to attract a man, or who have no desire to indulge in what some consider a pain (make up, girly clothes, ect.) The beauty of our world is we can all have different personalities and likes and such.

But I do know that the whole 'why would a guy bother' is not lost on all of us. I like to play dress up as much as the next guy. But I could be a bit of a minority.

I will say one last thing. I have gone the last nine months of my pregnancy trying my absolute damnest to look good. I drag my butt out of bed in the morning and go through my whole make up and hair ritual becuase I figured, okay my body is out of whack, but I am not going to let the rest of me look out of it. I have been off from my work for two weeks and continue to do this every morning. Even my husband said the other day, "don't get all gussied up just for me" and I said "I am doing this for me! Shutup!" So, even at home I am wanting to at least try to make myself feel better. And no one has seen me, unless I leave my house.

Hugs and hope this gives you a different perspective

kathy in canada

[Nancy]

Kathy, I guess you are 100% right when you say I must hang around some different women Just look around here Your points are well taken and understood. However, and please do not take this wrong but I think you and a few of the other accepting and supportive wifes and SO's on this forum are way diffrent from all the, at best, tolorent and nonaccepting wives and SO's that I have met and read about in a lot of posts and on other forums and lists.

If the majority of other GG's were as understanding and acceptable a lot more of the CD's would be on

And one other thing there is no way I am ever going to even think about going toe to toe with a GG in her ninth month!

Dressing and taking care of one self is numro uno it goes a long with accepting and liking ones self and as you put it that's what makes you feel good. When I say that to my wife and others say that to their partners that is one of the reasons we like to dress, somehow it just does not seem to sink in and that is why I get so messed up with all of this.

You explain it to an understanding person and they say, so whats the big deal? You try to explaine, reason and talk to others and they just take it all as a lame excuse to dress and do something unacceptable.

Maybe we need to get the accepting and understanding wives, SO's families and friends to do our outreaching?

Time to stop now and zip it up.