Gay or Not

[JoAnnDallas]

Battybattybats's lastest posting on another forum got me thinking. When I go into my nail salon, I usually have one of my Hanes T-shirt, matching Hanes Shorts, and Green/Pink sandels with with polished toes and no socks on. I have always wondered if other customers thought I was gay.
So I ask you all, you walk into a nail salon. There is a man sitting in a pedicure chair, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, shaved legs, getting Bright Red Polish on his toes, and Long Pink acrylic nails. What would your first impression be, GAY or not?

[Lydia]

Hi JoAnn,

I am sure that I would stare - and try not to.

As I visualize the scene, I would think the guy is strange, to say the least. Next, I would assume he was gay, which would not bother me.

I would be torn between wanting to talk to him, yet not wanting to embarass him.

As I visualize further, I think that a guy dressed like that would not be embarassed by anything.

I admire you JoAnn. I wish I had the guts to do that.

Hugs,

Lydia

[Georgia(SO)]

Honest answer? Yep. I would assume he was gay. It wouldn't matter one way or the other to me, but yes, that would be my first assumption.

For reasons that would take eons to figure out, even those of us with CDing SO's (and apparently even CDs themselves, judging by Lydia's answer) link the urge to display feminine decorations with being gay. Dunno why we do this, even when we know that the majority of CDs are hetero. But we do...

-georgia(so)

[Virginia]

In deference to my sisters who may take this the wrong way, I have to admit I have never been in a nail salon, I have thought about it, but I seem to meet my needs for my nails at home. I would love to have them done and I will one day I can assure you. Not my point, however.

You may or may not accept the fact that Cd'ers are accused of being in the forefront of being homophobic at least we have been accused of being such. Mainly because of our desire to "closet" our gift, some of us tend to over-react to others not in the "main stream" of society. This along with the fact that under the ENDA law seeking passage, we are excluded -- gee, I wonder why?? Could it be our unwillingness to wave signs, to yell and scream for our "rights," to march, to bleed in the streets like our GLB brothers and sisters have done!!?? Is Virginia guilty, too? Yes, in the past, but not now!!!!

If I were to see what was described in the scene, now I would not think twice about it, in fact I might be curious enough to find out what he was having done, what color, and maybe have the opportunity to make a new friend.

Again, no offense, but unless we want to continue to be treated as what, "the red headed step-child", the "black sheep", the "closeted hanger on!", we not only have to get more involved, but we have to change our perception of the "world."

Love you all!

Virginia

[DonnaT]

Not hardly.

Not a whole lot of gay men wear nail polish and shave their legs.

I would immediately think TG, however.

[DeeDee]

Knowing what I know now about "gender" and such, I would hardly assume he was gay, just someone who is comfortable with him/herself. As Donna said, not a lot of gay guys would have their nails painted, but if so....no big deal. I think to a person who is not at all familiar with all the diversity of GLBT, well, then gay could be all they know. At my salon, and I've never had my nails done there, the GG clientele doesn't mind us at all.....actually have nice chats with them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that..its no big deal. Maybe June Cleaver would have a snit, but I've love to see that
DeeDee

[Sylvia H]

I could see where those prone to categorizing people could come to the "gay" conclusion. Its really too bad or maybe a sign of immaturity maybe. As Ive alluded to before , I have never figured out why people do this.

I can remember doing it myself when I was younger, but I cant for the life of me remember why. Like so many things one outgrows I suppose.

I was "Peter Pan" in school. I never even figured it out why they were calling me that till I was in 11th grade. Then it was kind of too late to be mad about it. Yeah, well maybe Im dense. Im quite sure I have been suspected as gay most of my life. Probably explains why some people seemed to avoid me along the way.

WHO CARES!! (Im not yelling at anyone in particular. Just pretend you heard it in Daffy Ducks voice.)

xoxox
Sylvia

[Tekla]

I know far more gay guys who have pickup trucks and bike road bikes than paint their nails. Really. Sure there are swish gay men, but that is not a majority of the population. Hello? Gay men are men who like other men for being men.

I sure can't remember ever thinking about people if they are gay or straight unless I'm trying to bed them myself.

What I really want to know is when exactly did people who file and paint fingernails become "nail technicians"?

And I never thought of Peter Pan as anything gay - not in anything that has Tinkerbell in it. Tinkerbell is a screaming, flaming queen, not Peter. Peter was a boy - who like far too many people - refused to grow up. Its Wendy and the girls who do the work. And the guys (and girls) at work call me Tinkerbell, or just Tink, but that's common for people in that job description. Or so they told me.

[Sally]

No, I wouldn't think Gay, I, like Donna, would think TG, simply because I know plenty of Gay men and they all but cringe from anything remotely female, they are men who prefer masculine men, but if that person were a gay 'Drag Queen' then in all liklihood she would be much more flamboyant and wearing considerably more 'loud decorative' female clothing and accessories than that which you mentioned.

Kind Regards,

Sally.

[Absaroka]

Shaved legs would make me think athelete. Painted nails would make me think man with young daughters who insisted on doing his nails. But painted nails might also make me think gay although I should know better from reading these forums.....

Tinkerbelle.... I was reading something on the origins of words the other day that made me think of her. First remember that Peter Pan is played by Mary Martin for the voice. He has not yet had the voice drop of adolescence. And the name: Pan as in woodland spirit and someone who seduces people away from civilization to frolic aimlessly in an idyllic wilderness. Peter-a boyhood term for male genitalia.

More interesting is Tinkerbelle. Belle of course is feminine pretty. Tinkers were vagabonds, wanderers who supported themselves by tinsmithing, i.e. fixing things made of tin. But more importantly they were impoverished wanderers, considered somewhat on par with hobos. Consider Tinkerbelles attire in the Disney cartoon. She is basically dressed in very attractive rags.

In mythology both Pan and fairies had a fairly scary side to them. They were more powerful and capricious than humans felt comfortable with.

Imagine things with gender role reversal. Tinkerbelle as a male with the lost girls. It would probably turn into porn in no time.....

Absaroka

[Caith]

My wife said just last week that she expects other women consider me gay for having my toenails painted during a pedicure. Frankly, I don't care what the other women there think. If anyone takes the time to talk with me (which most don't) they'll know I'm not. Besides, I'm paying the same price as the women, why shouldn't I take advantage of every service included??

[Anita]

The general public would say, "That's a gay man," period. Doesn't matter what we know about gay men in general, people assume that anything remotely femme about a man automatically means that he's sexually attracted to other men.

To fine-tune it a little--being in a band with a gay man who impersonates a gay icon, Ethel Merman, I spend a fair amount of time around gay men. The femme gay men may or may not paint their toenails, but they do shave their body hair, I believe.

The one major difference I see between gay men and transwomen is simple: breast forms. Not even a drag queen wants to wear them in 'civilian' life, if they're not performing. Femme gay men wouldn't think of wearing them. Whereas a majority of the 20 or so women in my TG support group wouldn't be without them. I've said in another post, that I may be dressed androgynously, but as long as I have my breast forms, that's my defining factor--I'm presenting as a woman, thank you.

Even TG gals and crossdressers may not want to present breasts to the public, for the obvious reason that there's nothing ambiguous about them. People can't be sure if those jeans are girl's or guys, and they may not recognize that your shirt is really a blouse, but...they know breasts when they see them.

So--if I see a guy with feminine clothing, painted nails, shaved legs, and so on, he may identify in many different ways--gay, metrosexual, goth, TG. If I see breasts, then it narrows it down--that person is probably TG.

[KimberlyS]

If it was 10-15 plus years ago I would definitely have thought gay from the first look at him and no second thought beyond that. But 10 plus years ago i would have not walked in to a salon except for a barber style hair cut and then the guy stylists made me uneasy.

Today walking into a salon is normal, seeing the guy getting his nails done would be a "you rock" thought and maybe go up to see the color and comment on it. Then it would be a sit and wait my turn and maybe a conversation depending on the layout. Gay, CD, metro sexual, goth, punk, what ever, does not matter to me. I would be more interested in what color and what they were getting done. If we had a conversation I would most likely keep it general unless he told me or gave me other clues giving us different conversation paths to go down. I wonder if we would freak out the nail tech if we started talking femme clothes or bras. LOL

[Andrea(Wa)]

Hi...
The thought "Gay-Not gay" would not even enter my mind. My "first" thoughts would be...this is a TG person, and I would ( not very good at this) attempt a conversation. meeting to become acquainted! and....as always being VERY descreate NOT to "out" the person...
Just my "Humble opinion",
Andrea/Andi

[Elizabeth]

Hey girls,

I think the general public would say you were gay, regardless of what they may or may not personally believe. It's just a stereotype. The good news is, people are getting more exposed to the TG community and maybe these stereotypes won't persist.

Love always,
Elizabeth